well-meaning philanthropy fails to take into account certain rules of economics. The land supports the house. The house cannot support the land. Therefore, the logical way to proceed is to begin with the land and any outbuildings crucial to livestock and agriculture.”
“Nonsense,” she said. “Here is Lady Lithby. Let us find out what she thinks.”
Darius wanted to shout that it was irrelevant what a lot of females—to whom logic was as foreign as Sanskrit—thought.
He told himself to calm down. It was irrational to become incensed over a female’s irrationality.
He made himself smile benignly at Lady Lithby. Unlike Mrs. Steepleton and Mrs. Badgely, she would not talk him to death. He had noticed that Lady Lithby listened a good deal more than she talked.
Mrs. Badgely went on about the house.
Lady Lithby listened patiently for a time, then said, “Like other men, Mr. Carsington was not trained to manage a household. No doubt he has no idea where to begin.”
Darius grasped at the lifeline. “Indeed, I haven’t. What do I know of cooks and housekeepers and scullery maids? What do I know of proper furnishings? Should one paint the walls or paper them? What color goes with what? Is this piece of furniture too ornate or unfashionable? I hear women speak of these things and it makes me dizzy. I should rather tackle a hard problem in trigonometry.”
“That is perfectly understandable,” Lady Lithby said. “One cannot expect a man to deal with these matters.”
“But they must be dealt with,” said Mrs. Badgely. “Are we to excuse him on grounds that he is a man?”
“Yes, we must,” said Lady Lithby. “You may put the house out of your mind, Mr. Carsington.”
“Thank you,” he said, resisting the childish temptation to stick out his tongue at Mrs. Badgely.
“I shall be happy to do what needs to be done there,” Lady Lithby said.
Then Darius saw, too late, the pit yawning in front of him.
Ye gods, the Marchioness of Lithby, accustomed to a bottomless purse, renovating his house.
In his mind’s eye, Darius saw ledgers with long columns of expenses, totaling in the thousands. He would have the devil’s own time turning a profit as it was. How could he do it if he refurbished the house?
But only a madman would attempt to speak to women of money. First, the subject was vulgar. Second, ladies of the upper orders had no notion of basic rules of economics. He might as well try to explain Ampère’s Theory of Electrodynamic Phenomena to Lord Lithby’s pig.
Third, and most important, his pride would not permit it. He’d be hanged before he’d reveal anything of his financial or time constraints.
“I shouldn’t dream of asking you to add this burden to your present responsibilities,” he said. “You are expecting a large party of guests, I understand, next month.”
“Entertaining guests is nothing,” her ladyship said. “We do it all the time.”
“But to take charge of another household, one that is in complete disorder, without adequate staff—”
“Your agent Quested is completely reliable,” she said. “I shall apply to him for staffing. And you must not fret about how much work needs to be done. Work is what I seek. I recently redecorated Lithby Hall from top to bottom. We were obliged to make some architectural changes as well. While Lithby is happy with the result, he has made me promise not to do it again until the youngest boys are at university. I am at leisure, you see. Too much so, in fact. You would be doing me a favor.”
“Beechwood House is in a ghastly state,” he said, though he had no idea, having not yet darkened its door. “The rats—”
“I shall bring Daisy, my young bulldog,” she said. “She will enjoy catching rats. Charlotte, too.” She signaled to her stepdaughter.
“To catch rats?” Darius said. He watched the stepdaughter approach. She still wore the vacantly agreeable look.
Lady Lithby laughed. “Charlotte is not afraid of rodents.
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