Nobody Gets The Girl

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Book: Nobody Gets The Girl by James Maxey Read Free Book Online
Authors: James Maxey
Tags: Science-Fiction, Fantasy, Young Adult
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his eyes and fired. Two bullets ricocheted from the
pavement. The third bullet struck the old bum squarely between the
eyes.
    "Ow, goddamn it," the bum cursed, sticking
his dirt-blackened finger into the hole in his head.
    The cop kept pulling his trigger long after
his gun was empty. The Panic and the bum walked up to him. The cop
began to squeal like a frightened pig as he gazed upon the Panic's
white sneakers.
    The old bum squatted down next to the cop,
his pants ripping as he did so. "Right between the eyes is just the
goddamn meanest place to shoot a fella," he said. "I'm gonna go all
cross-eyed staring at it. Why would you wanna do somethin' like
that? What'd I ever do to you?"
    The cop vomited and began to claw at the
sidewalk in an effort to get away. In seconds, wet red trails were
left where his fingers scraped the pavement.
    The Panic picked up the cop's fallen gun.
"Cops are all the same," he said. "Guns are like penises they wear
on the outside of their pants, lording their manliness over
everyone else. Why don't you show him your trick?"
    "Hold his eyes open," the bum said, taking
the gun.
    Nobody uselessly reached out to grab the
Panic as he knelt over the frightened man. The Panic dug his nails
in just below the cop's eyebrows and pulled his eyes open.
    "Folks call me Pit Geek," the bum said. "You
know what a Pit Geek is, Cop? We're carny folk, the meanest of the
lot. And you know why folks pay to see us? 'Cause we can eat
anything."
    To prove it, he stuck the barrel of the gun
into his mouth and bit down. He gnawed the barrel like it was a
particularly tough piece of beef jerky, tearing it off. He chewed
twice, then swallowed.
    Nobody felt ashamed. "Yeah," he said. "I
guess I would pay money to see that."
    Pit Geek finished off the gun. Then he took
the cop's bloody right hand into his own hand, and shoved it, up to
the wrist, into his mouth.
    "Jesus God!" shouted Nobody, vainly grabbing
at Pit Geek's hands.
    The cop fainted as the bloody stump of his
wrist fell limp upon the pavement.
    Pit Geek tapped him on the forehead. "Wakey,
wakey."
    The Panic dropped the cop's head. "Forget
it," he said. "We need to hurry. The boss says they're getting the
evacuation ready now. Children first."
    The two of them moved on. Nobody lingered
behind. Now that no one was looking, he ripped long strips from the
airbag and made a tourniquet around what was left of the cop's
wrist. Satisfied that the blood loss was abating, he jogged off
after his two targets, who were entering a parking garage filled
with school buses.
    "Bomb," said the Panic.
    Pit Geek began to retch. His mouth and throat
bulged as he vomited forth a large rectangular package. Richard
wondered how someone as thin as Pit Geek could have held such a
thing in his body. "Good thing the bullet didn't hit this," Pit
Geek said, wiping his mouth. "I got blowed up once back in '83 and
it took damn near a year to work all the shrapnel out." He held the
still dripping bomb out to the Panic.
    "I'm not touching that," the Panic said. He
pointed to the nearest bus. "Get under there."
    Pit Geek dropped to his knees and crawled
under the bus.
    "Always gotta do the dirty work," he
grumbled.
    Nobody spoke into his radio once more. "Found
out part of their plan," he said. "They're going to blow up school
buses. Any idea on how to stop them?"
    "Stopping them isn't your priority," said Dr.
Knowbokov. "Just don't let them out of your sight."
    "You're going to call the cops or something,
right?"
    "Of course," said Dr. Knowbokov.
    By now, Pit Geek had vomited up another bomb,
and was crawling toward the next bus.
    "It's those damn corners that get me," Pit
Geek complained. "Couldn't the boss have rounded them off or
something?"
    "Keep working," the Panic said, placing a
hand to his left ear. "Boss says they've gathered the children at
the Air and Space Museum auditorium. We've got ten minutes, tops,
before they start loading the buses."
    Nobody crawled under the first bus and

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