Lisa,’ like that was a compliment or something.”
“Sounds like he said pretty much the same thing to you that he did to Fiona,” Carole said, treading carefully.
“No, it’s not the same at all,” Lisa countered. “Maybe you just had to be there, but I’m telling you, this girl is the teacher’s pet, and it’s making me sick to my stomach. She is
so
obvious!”
It was all Carole could do to keep from asking Lisa if she thought other people might consider Lisa the teacher’s pet in some of her classes. Lisa was such a good student that teachers naturally liked and respected her. If that wasn’t being a teacher’s pet, Carole wasn’t sure what was. This was a sensitive area for Lisa, though, especially where it concerned Fiona.
“Lisa, do you think it’s possible that you might be envious of Fiona?” Carole asked.
“Envious?” Lisa asked in return, saying the word as if it was totally odious to her. “How could I be envious of her?”
“Well, it seems like you wish Mr. Mathios had givenyou the attention he gave to Fiona. Would it feel nicer if he’d said, ‘Very good, Lisa,’ instead of ‘Fiona’?”
“No, you don’t get this at all,” Lisa said, disturbed that her friend was so completely missing the point. The point was that Fiona was trying so hard to be nice to Mr. Mathios, and he didn’t even see through it!
“I think I do get it,” Carole said. “Really, I do, Lisa. It’s frustrating and annoying when someone else is getting the attention and admiration that you’ve earned and deserve. But the fact is that not everybody can always be ‘best,’ whether that means in one class on one day or even in a class throughout a year. You are a very good student, you get nothing but As—”
“I got a B-plus in math last year.”
“That was only the spring semester grade. Your overall grade for the year was a nice little A, as usual. You don’t always have to get As,” Carole said. “It’s okay if you are better at some things than others
and
it’s okay if somebody else is better than you are at something.”
“No, you don’t understand, Carole,” Lisa said. “The point is that you and Stevie can be satisfied with second best—”
Carole could feel anger rising in her. She didn’t like being told she was second rate. But she knew that this conversation wasn’t really about her. It was about Lisa, who seemed to need a reminder of what was important and what wasn’t. Carole stayed as calm as she couldmanage and spoke to her friend as warmly as possible under the circumstances.
“That’s not fair,” Carole said. “And besides, second best doesn’t matter at all as long as you, or I, or anyone, knows that they’ve done their personal best. If I work at something really hard, put everything I can into it, and it’s not wonderful, I have the satisfaction of knowing that I did the best I could. Maybe I learned something from doing it and maybe the next time I do it, I’ll do it better. You should keep that in mind.”
“But you’re always the best at riding,” Lisa said. “It’s your way of knowing that you are the best at something.”
“Maybe,” Carole said. “But I’m not always the best. A lot of times other people do things better than I do. Stevie’s much better at dressage than I am.”
“Stevie’s horse is better at dressage than Starlight,” Lisa said.
“No, not really. Stevie just enjoys dressage more than I do, so she works at it harder and Belle has learned better.”
“But you’re both better riders than I am.”
“I’m not sure that’s true,” said Carole. “But I am sure that if it is true, it doesn’t matter. You are my friend and Stevie’s friend and that’s much more important to us than if you can do a turn on the forehand or a flying change.”
Lisa looked distressed. She took two spoonfuls of her yogurt and then pushed the tray away. She’d spent more than an hour the previous Saturday trying to get Prancer to do a
“Sounds like he said pretty much the same thing to you that he did to Fiona,” Carole said, treading carefully.
“No, it’s not the same at all,” Lisa countered. “Maybe you just had to be there, but I’m telling you, this girl is the teacher’s pet, and it’s making me sick to my stomach. She is
so
obvious!”
It was all Carole could do to keep from asking Lisa if she thought other people might consider Lisa the teacher’s pet in some of her classes. Lisa was such a good student that teachers naturally liked and respected her. If that wasn’t being a teacher’s pet, Carole wasn’t sure what was. This was a sensitive area for Lisa, though, especially where it concerned Fiona.
“Lisa, do you think it’s possible that you might be envious of Fiona?” Carole asked.
“Envious?” Lisa asked in return, saying the word as if it was totally odious to her. “How could I be envious of her?”
“Well, it seems like you wish Mr. Mathios had givenyou the attention he gave to Fiona. Would it feel nicer if he’d said, ‘Very good, Lisa,’ instead of ‘Fiona’?”
“No, you don’t get this at all,” Lisa said, disturbed that her friend was so completely missing the point. The point was that Fiona was trying so hard to be nice to Mr. Mathios, and he didn’t even see through it!
“I think I do get it,” Carole said. “Really, I do, Lisa. It’s frustrating and annoying when someone else is getting the attention and admiration that you’ve earned and deserve. But the fact is that not everybody can always be ‘best,’ whether that means in one class on one day or even in a class throughout a year. You are a very good student, you get nothing but As—”
“I got a B-plus in math last year.”
“That was only the spring semester grade. Your overall grade for the year was a nice little A, as usual. You don’t always have to get As,” Carole said. “It’s okay if you are better at some things than others
and
it’s okay if somebody else is better than you are at something.”
“No, you don’t understand, Carole,” Lisa said. “The point is that you and Stevie can be satisfied with second best—”
Carole could feel anger rising in her. She didn’t like being told she was second rate. But she knew that this conversation wasn’t really about her. It was about Lisa, who seemed to need a reminder of what was important and what wasn’t. Carole stayed as calm as she couldmanage and spoke to her friend as warmly as possible under the circumstances.
“That’s not fair,” Carole said. “And besides, second best doesn’t matter at all as long as you, or I, or anyone, knows that they’ve done their personal best. If I work at something really hard, put everything I can into it, and it’s not wonderful, I have the satisfaction of knowing that I did the best I could. Maybe I learned something from doing it and maybe the next time I do it, I’ll do it better. You should keep that in mind.”
“But you’re always the best at riding,” Lisa said. “It’s your way of knowing that you are the best at something.”
“Maybe,” Carole said. “But I’m not always the best. A lot of times other people do things better than I do. Stevie’s much better at dressage than I am.”
“Stevie’s horse is better at dressage than Starlight,” Lisa said.
“No, not really. Stevie just enjoys dressage more than I do, so she works at it harder and Belle has learned better.”
“But you’re both better riders than I am.”
“I’m not sure that’s true,” said Carole. “But I am sure that if it is true, it doesn’t matter. You are my friend and Stevie’s friend and that’s much more important to us than if you can do a turn on the forehand or a flying change.”
Lisa looked distressed. She took two spoonfuls of her yogurt and then pushed the tray away. She’d spent more than an hour the previous Saturday trying to get Prancer to do a
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