Read Online Nice Girls Don't Bite Their Neighbors by Molly Harper - Free Book Online
Authors: Molly Harper
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do whatI say, when I say it, or you won’t be able to walk for a week.”
He looked frightened for a moment, then nodded. “Believe it or not, my mom used to say that right before she’d take me and Daisy into Walmart.”
“Nice.” I snickered as I tossed him a T-shirt extolling the virtues of the Southern Festival of Books. “Take it easy. It’s your first time out.”
We trotted down the stairs with Gabriel and Dick close at our heels. I stopped on the front porch, sniffing the air, trying to sense any humans who might stumble into our path. Jamie was staring up at the sky, shielding his sensitive eyes from the light of the moon. He flexed his hands, marveling at the way the sinew and bone moved under his skin. He smiled, looking to me like a baby taking his first steps.
“You ready?” I asked.
Jamie was stretching his arms behind his shoulders in that jocky way that clearly communicated that he did not consider me athletic competition. “What happened your first time out?”
“I tried to eat my best friend.”
His arms froze over his head, and he frowned. “Oh, well, I’ll try not to do that, then.”
I laughed and took a few quick steps toward the pasture. Jamie quickly caught up to me. My new childe running was a thing to behold. How someone so bulky could be so lithe and light on his feet was a mystery. We ran across the width of my land, leaping high over the grassy hills for no other reason than that we could. Jamiewhooped as he landed, a little unsteady on his feet, and then bounded over an old shed my great-grandfather used to use as a deer blind.
“This is great!” he crowed, flipping back into a handspring and walking on his hands on the tall silvered grass. I sat down on a fallen log and watched, a bemused smirk tilting the corners of my mouth. “I can see everything, every crater on the moon, every branch on every tree. I can smell everything, the grass crushing under my feet, the smell of your skin. Did anyone ever tell you that you smell just like peaches and cinnamon?”
“Easy,” I told him sternly.
“No, it’s just that the smell sort of sticks out in my mind, probably because it was the last thing I smelled as I was dying. That smell means safe, it means home, which is probably some weird vampire instinct thing, huh?” he continued as if I hadn’t just admonished him for inappropriate sire harassment. “How come we never hear about this stuff when they talk about vampires on the news? It’s all ‘Be respectful and cautious when you’re approaching the cranky undead.’ No one ever says, ‘Vampires are like superheroes. Ask one of them to leap over a tall building in a single bound!’ ”
“Because vampires would get extremely annoyed if humans did that,” I mused.
“Whatever. If I get to go back to school, I’m going to convince the coach to let me keep playing baseball. We could totally win state with my new skills,” he said, springing back to his feet and executing several backflips. “We’d have to play at night, though.”
“Well, they might let you on the cheerleading squad, either way.” I laughed as he tumbled across the moonlit clearing.
“Hey!”
“I’m just kidding. If they let you back in school, I will go to every game and wear one of those big embarrassing pins with your picture on it.”
His face split with a huge, toothy grin. “Really?”
“Really. Someone has to keep you from snacking on the outfield. The Half-Moon Howlers couldn’t stand the loss if you were staked by angry spectators.”
“Funny.” He frowned, finally coming to a stop so he could sit beside me. “So, you said something about rules earlier? You should probably tell me about those now. Nothing that’s this awesome can come without some serious drawbacks. Like steroids or dating a hot chick with a crazy dad.”
“How much do you know about us?” I asked. “Like our origin stories, the reason we came out of the coffin, that sort of thing?”
“Well, I
He looked frightened for a moment, then nodded. “Believe it or not, my mom used to say that right before she’d take me and Daisy into Walmart.”
“Nice.” I snickered as I tossed him a T-shirt extolling the virtues of the Southern Festival of Books. “Take it easy. It’s your first time out.”
We trotted down the stairs with Gabriel and Dick close at our heels. I stopped on the front porch, sniffing the air, trying to sense any humans who might stumble into our path. Jamie was staring up at the sky, shielding his sensitive eyes from the light of the moon. He flexed his hands, marveling at the way the sinew and bone moved under his skin. He smiled, looking to me like a baby taking his first steps.
“You ready?” I asked.
Jamie was stretching his arms behind his shoulders in that jocky way that clearly communicated that he did not consider me athletic competition. “What happened your first time out?”
“I tried to eat my best friend.”
His arms froze over his head, and he frowned. “Oh, well, I’ll try not to do that, then.”
I laughed and took a few quick steps toward the pasture. Jamie quickly caught up to me. My new childe running was a thing to behold. How someone so bulky could be so lithe and light on his feet was a mystery. We ran across the width of my land, leaping high over the grassy hills for no other reason than that we could. Jamiewhooped as he landed, a little unsteady on his feet, and then bounded over an old shed my great-grandfather used to use as a deer blind.
“This is great!” he crowed, flipping back into a handspring and walking on his hands on the tall silvered grass. I sat down on a fallen log and watched, a bemused smirk tilting the corners of my mouth. “I can see everything, every crater on the moon, every branch on every tree. I can smell everything, the grass crushing under my feet, the smell of your skin. Did anyone ever tell you that you smell just like peaches and cinnamon?”
“Easy,” I told him sternly.
“No, it’s just that the smell sort of sticks out in my mind, probably because it was the last thing I smelled as I was dying. That smell means safe, it means home, which is probably some weird vampire instinct thing, huh?” he continued as if I hadn’t just admonished him for inappropriate sire harassment. “How come we never hear about this stuff when they talk about vampires on the news? It’s all ‘Be respectful and cautious when you’re approaching the cranky undead.’ No one ever says, ‘Vampires are like superheroes. Ask one of them to leap over a tall building in a single bound!’ ”
“Because vampires would get extremely annoyed if humans did that,” I mused.
“Whatever. If I get to go back to school, I’m going to convince the coach to let me keep playing baseball. We could totally win state with my new skills,” he said, springing back to his feet and executing several backflips. “We’d have to play at night, though.”
“Well, they might let you on the cheerleading squad, either way.” I laughed as he tumbled across the moonlit clearing.
“Hey!”
“I’m just kidding. If they let you back in school, I will go to every game and wear one of those big embarrassing pins with your picture on it.”
His face split with a huge, toothy grin. “Really?”
“Really. Someone has to keep you from snacking on the outfield. The Half-Moon Howlers couldn’t stand the loss if you were staked by angry spectators.”
“Funny.” He frowned, finally coming to a stop so he could sit beside me. “So, you said something about rules earlier? You should probably tell me about those now. Nothing that’s this awesome can come without some serious drawbacks. Like steroids or dating a hot chick with a crazy dad.”
“How much do you know about us?” I asked. “Like our origin stories, the reason we came out of the coffin, that sort of thing?”
“Well, I
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