cat?” she asked. “Why do you suddenly want a cat?”
She was munching Doritos and watching a “Boy Meets World” rerun.
“ No way. It’s out of the question,” she said. “For one thing, I just don’t think you’re responsible enough to have a pet.”
Licking her fingers, she replied, “Yes, it’s true that cats are fiercely independent but I know you and I know that I would be the one cleaning its poop box and making sure it got fed and had its shots and all that crap. So, you absolutely cannot have a cat.”
But the wall wouldn’t let up. It was starting to remind her of all the times when he had wanted sex and she hadn’t, and how he’d somehow had a way of just wearing her down until she gave in and put out. Most men had that knack, it seemed. Nag, nag, nag, until you’ll do anything just to get them to shut up already.
The more she thought about it, the more determined she became to not give in. It turned into an argument of course, like everything between them always did, until she was finally able to get him to agree to a compromise. She would get him a goldfish.
“ That should keep you entertained while I’m at work and if you prove that you’re responsible enough to take care of it for, say, six months, then we’ll talk again about you getting a cat. Deal?”
They had a deal, but the fish died a week after it arrived and the wall never mentioned pets again.
* * * * *
A thunderstorm startled her awake one night. Sitting up, she peered across the room, trying to see the time, but the power was out. Frowning into the dark, she called, “Wally? Are you crying?”
Downstairs, armed with two candles, she sat on the floor and did her best to comfort the wall.
“ I had no idea you were afraid of the dark. Why didn’t you mention this while we were together?”
She listened, a concerned look on her face, then said, “Oh, sweetie. We all have traumas from our youth. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
Patting the wall, soothing it as best she could, she remembered her own childhood traumas, like being left alone for long periods of time, which in turn gave her an intense fear of abandonment.
“ But, look at me now.” She smiled in the candlelight. “All grown up and completely recovered. I’m living proof that you don’t have to let those old fears and hurts rule your life forever. You know what they say: living a happy life is the best revenge.”
The smile abruptly slid off her face.
“ What do you mean, you have no idea what I’m talking about? I’m talking about…” She trailed off. “Oh forget it. You’ll never understand. Proving yet again why we weren’t meant to be together.”
Drumming her fingers against her knees, she waited as the wall stammered around, trying to make excuses for his rudeness.
But the woman wanted no part of it. She stood up and said, “I’m sure the power will be back on soon enough. The street light will come on and you can have your little nightlight back.”
She blew out the candles. “No, you can’t keep them. That would be a fire hazard because, frankly, I just don’t trust you with fire.”
Satisfied that she had really stuck it to him, she went back upstairs and fell asleep without giving another thought to his fearful whimpers.
* * * * *
She no longer felt comfortable being in the living room in just her underwear and told the wall so with more than a twinge of annoyance in her voice.
“ Yes, I know you’ve seen it all before, but now it’s different. I mean, you don’t even have the common decency to look away, for crying out loud. That’s not very gentlemanly, if you ask me.”
Wearing a robe despite the fact that the temperature was pushing 90 degrees, she stood in the center of the room, a bottle of nail polish
She was munching Doritos and watching a “Boy Meets World” rerun.
“ No way. It’s out of the question,” she said. “For one thing, I just don’t think you’re responsible enough to have a pet.”
Licking her fingers, she replied, “Yes, it’s true that cats are fiercely independent but I know you and I know that I would be the one cleaning its poop box and making sure it got fed and had its shots and all that crap. So, you absolutely cannot have a cat.”
But the wall wouldn’t let up. It was starting to remind her of all the times when he had wanted sex and she hadn’t, and how he’d somehow had a way of just wearing her down until she gave in and put out. Most men had that knack, it seemed. Nag, nag, nag, until you’ll do anything just to get them to shut up already.
The more she thought about it, the more determined she became to not give in. It turned into an argument of course, like everything between them always did, until she was finally able to get him to agree to a compromise. She would get him a goldfish.
“ That should keep you entertained while I’m at work and if you prove that you’re responsible enough to take care of it for, say, six months, then we’ll talk again about you getting a cat. Deal?”
They had a deal, but the fish died a week after it arrived and the wall never mentioned pets again.
* * * * *
A thunderstorm startled her awake one night. Sitting up, she peered across the room, trying to see the time, but the power was out. Frowning into the dark, she called, “Wally? Are you crying?”
Downstairs, armed with two candles, she sat on the floor and did her best to comfort the wall.
“ I had no idea you were afraid of the dark. Why didn’t you mention this while we were together?”
She listened, a concerned look on her face, then said, “Oh, sweetie. We all have traumas from our youth. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
Patting the wall, soothing it as best she could, she remembered her own childhood traumas, like being left alone for long periods of time, which in turn gave her an intense fear of abandonment.
“ But, look at me now.” She smiled in the candlelight. “All grown up and completely recovered. I’m living proof that you don’t have to let those old fears and hurts rule your life forever. You know what they say: living a happy life is the best revenge.”
The smile abruptly slid off her face.
“ What do you mean, you have no idea what I’m talking about? I’m talking about…” She trailed off. “Oh forget it. You’ll never understand. Proving yet again why we weren’t meant to be together.”
Drumming her fingers against her knees, she waited as the wall stammered around, trying to make excuses for his rudeness.
But the woman wanted no part of it. She stood up and said, “I’m sure the power will be back on soon enough. The street light will come on and you can have your little nightlight back.”
She blew out the candles. “No, you can’t keep them. That would be a fire hazard because, frankly, I just don’t trust you with fire.”
Satisfied that she had really stuck it to him, she went back upstairs and fell asleep without giving another thought to his fearful whimpers.
* * * * *
She no longer felt comfortable being in the living room in just her underwear and told the wall so with more than a twinge of annoyance in her voice.
“ Yes, I know you’ve seen it all before, but now it’s different. I mean, you don’t even have the common decency to look away, for crying out loud. That’s not very gentlemanly, if you ask me.”
Wearing a robe despite the fact that the temperature was pushing 90 degrees, she stood in the center of the room, a bottle of nail polish
Similar Books
