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Authors: D.R. Grady
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the icon for her e-mail. Bending over the keyboard, Lainy found
her mouse and clicked. Might as well check for messages. When the
server sent her messages and she saw one from Mitch, she was aware
enough to feel terror skitter down her spine.
Oh no .
Family videos.
He'd probably seen them all by now and
she was certain she hadn't bothered to brush her hair. It didn't
matter on video whether she'd brushed her teeth, but brushing ones
hair now seemed important with insane brothers running around with
camcorders. Wondering if she should change her priorities while at
the lake, she clicked on Mitch's message.
She smiled. Ed had filmed her
detouring kids and animals into the closet with Laurie and Greg.
Not good to have on video, because now her deeds would be
undeniable, with the recorded evidence. So far no one had been able
to prove she was the culprit, but at least Ed hadn't sent videos of
ducks pooping.
Biting her lip, Lainy wondered how
ducks pooped, and then shook her head. Who cared? At least Mitch
had gotten a laugh out of the video, which was nice. He hadn't
commented on her unbrushed hair, so maybe it hadn't been all that
bad. Or maybe her sister's adage that most men never noticed a
woman's hair really did hold some truth.
She finished her coffee, then hit the
reply button.
To:
[email protected]
From:
[email protected]
Subject: re: Lainy's
Detour Routine
Hello Mitch,
I'm relieved to hear my
brother didn't send anything too terrible. This time . Of course, he could have
and you haven’t had time to view all the videos yet. I'd still
brace myself if I were you. There's really no telling what you'll
see.
He's nuts. This may or may
not come from trying to keep 800 relly's straight. Although the
rest of us seem fairly sane, so he could have inherited all the
insane genes. One never knows. ☺
I've been doing the detour
thing for as long as Laurie and Greg have been together, which has
been close to forever, I think. They conceived my niece, Destiny,
in that closet (when they were practically babies) well twenty and
seventeen, and haven't looked back. I always - and will continue to
- deny I've played any part in the detours. Most of the family
suspects and blames me, but none of them has ever been able to
prove my guilt. Until Ed, but since he's my insane brother, he’s
never been credible. Now he’s got proof on a family DVD, that’s
bad!
Unfortunately, there are
also eye witnesses, since you saw my grandparents, and yes, they
are grandparents. My folks weren't there that weekend.
My grandmother, in case
you didn't notice, is a lot like me. Or, I suppose I should say I'm
a lot like her. She's pretty good with electronics and would have
earned her electrical engineering degree, too, had that been an
option in her time. Instead she went into teaching and did quite
well. I do favor her in my looks and mannerisms. (Everyone says
because of this I'm Granddad's favorite, but I seriously doubt
that.)
The man in the kitchen
with me is my brother, Will. He's the oldest. A fact he likes to
spout frequently. (The rest of us pay no attention to him when he
does.) There’s lots of eye rolling and then someone tosses him into
the lake. Now that we've got Bentley, this isn't nearly as
difficult these days. Will weighs in at about two thirty, and most
of it isn't baby fat. (We have this family joke that when the men
need to lose weight, they claim it's baby fat, since my sisters,
cousins, aunts, and various other female rellys claim they get a
grace period after having a baby to lose weight. Since it is baby
fat, they figure the fat will eventually melt off. The men have
picked up on this “excuse” and use it to extremes.) ☺ More eye
rolling.
My family birth order is
as follows: Will, Ed, Melly, Laurie, Max, Me, Tom, Dory. We're all
close, and we've more first cousins than I care to admit. Most of
them are part of at least four kid families. The largest is ten.
Yes, an aunt beat my parents. Of course,
her mouse and clicked. Might as well check for messages. When the
server sent her messages and she saw one from Mitch, she was aware
enough to feel terror skitter down her spine.
Oh no .
Family videos.
He'd probably seen them all by now and
she was certain she hadn't bothered to brush her hair. It didn't
matter on video whether she'd brushed her teeth, but brushing ones
hair now seemed important with insane brothers running around with
camcorders. Wondering if she should change her priorities while at
the lake, she clicked on Mitch's message.
She smiled. Ed had filmed her
detouring kids and animals into the closet with Laurie and Greg.
Not good to have on video, because now her deeds would be
undeniable, with the recorded evidence. So far no one had been able
to prove she was the culprit, but at least Ed hadn't sent videos of
ducks pooping.
Biting her lip, Lainy wondered how
ducks pooped, and then shook her head. Who cared? At least Mitch
had gotten a laugh out of the video, which was nice. He hadn't
commented on her unbrushed hair, so maybe it hadn't been all that
bad. Or maybe her sister's adage that most men never noticed a
woman's hair really did hold some truth.
She finished her coffee, then hit the
reply button.
To:
[email protected]
From:
[email protected]
Subject: re: Lainy's
Detour Routine
Hello Mitch,
I'm relieved to hear my
brother didn't send anything too terrible. This time . Of course, he could have
and you haven’t had time to view all the videos yet. I'd still
brace myself if I were you. There's really no telling what you'll
see.
He's nuts. This may or may
not come from trying to keep 800 relly's straight. Although the
rest of us seem fairly sane, so he could have inherited all the
insane genes. One never knows. ☺
I've been doing the detour
thing for as long as Laurie and Greg have been together, which has
been close to forever, I think. They conceived my niece, Destiny,
in that closet (when they were practically babies) well twenty and
seventeen, and haven't looked back. I always - and will continue to
- deny I've played any part in the detours. Most of the family
suspects and blames me, but none of them has ever been able to
prove my guilt. Until Ed, but since he's my insane brother, he’s
never been credible. Now he’s got proof on a family DVD, that’s
bad!
Unfortunately, there are
also eye witnesses, since you saw my grandparents, and yes, they
are grandparents. My folks weren't there that weekend.
My grandmother, in case
you didn't notice, is a lot like me. Or, I suppose I should say I'm
a lot like her. She's pretty good with electronics and would have
earned her electrical engineering degree, too, had that been an
option in her time. Instead she went into teaching and did quite
well. I do favor her in my looks and mannerisms. (Everyone says
because of this I'm Granddad's favorite, but I seriously doubt
that.)
The man in the kitchen
with me is my brother, Will. He's the oldest. A fact he likes to
spout frequently. (The rest of us pay no attention to him when he
does.) There’s lots of eye rolling and then someone tosses him into
the lake. Now that we've got Bentley, this isn't nearly as
difficult these days. Will weighs in at about two thirty, and most
of it isn't baby fat. (We have this family joke that when the men
need to lose weight, they claim it's baby fat, since my sisters,
cousins, aunts, and various other female rellys claim they get a
grace period after having a baby to lose weight. Since it is baby
fat, they figure the fat will eventually melt off. The men have
picked up on this “excuse” and use it to extremes.) ☺ More eye
rolling.
My family birth order is
as follows: Will, Ed, Melly, Laurie, Max, Me, Tom, Dory. We're all
close, and we've more first cousins than I care to admit. Most of
them are part of at least four kid families. The largest is ten.
Yes, an aunt beat my parents. Of course,
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