how she knew. She just showed up at my house with a kid. Then she was like ‘Donovan sexually assaulted Rachel. Rachel thinks it’s all her fault and she could really use a friend right now.’ I didn’t believe her but I had to go pick up BeeBee from your house and Pierce looked like complete shit.”
That hurts my heart that Court looks like shit. I did that to him. “What happened with Donovan wasn’t assault. I never tried to stop him, not that I liked it or anything, but I never said no.”
Paisley rolls her eyes. “There are other forms of sexual assault. It doesn’t always involve rape. He touched you and you didn’t like it. Annabella said he used GHB on you and that’s probably why any of it happened in the first place.”
I think about the angry way he tried to take my pants off. I think about how confused I was about the whole thing. I could barely move my arms and legs. I thought it was because I was drunk but…no that’s not what happened. Donovan wouldn’t hurt anyone like that. He’s a good man. Well, not completely good since he came on to me. “It wasn’t like that. He didn’t drug me.”
Paisley stands up and moves across the room towards me. She crouches until she’s eye to eye with me. “Think about it Rachel. What would Donovan gain from trying to sleep with you? Think about how much Court loves you and how devastated he is. Donovan had motive and you know it.”
“That doesn’t make any sense! Why would he try to get back at Court five years after Court slept with Annabella? He’s been with me since then and he was fucking happy.” I close my eyes and block out how happy we were. “We’ll never be that happy again.”
“This isn’t your fault. Rachel, Donovan did this to make Court pay. Revenge makes people do crazy things and Donovan’s had plenty of time to plan his revenge. He waited until Pierce was secure and happy before he struck. That’s why you’re struggling with it. Neither of you were expecting it and that’s what that son of a bitch wanted.” She stands all the way up and moves away from me. “He didn’t care about you or Asher. And we all know he didn’t care about Pierce. I just want you to think on that. You have to see what’s really going on here. Not what your brain is telling you. Listen to your heart.” Then she picks up her bag off the floor and leaves the room.
I still don’t believe that Donovan would drug me and try to have sex with me simply to hurt Court. He could have done something years ago, he wouldn’t wait until now. It just doesn’t make any sense.
***
“There she is. See, I told you she didn’t run away.” I hear his voice in my sleep and it makes me smile. Court’s voice can always make me smile.
Then I open my eyes and realize he’s really here. He stands at my bedroom door holding our son and looking like hell. He’s never been more handsome to me. Probably because we haven’t gone one day without talking to each other. Unless you count that time I broke up with him for stupid as hell reasons. We’ll just forget that happened.
“What are y’all doing here?” I mumble, sitting up in bed and running my fingers through my hair.
“Asher thought you ran away and you weren’t ever coming back. He wouldn’t calm down until I promised to show him you were still in town.” He comes into the room and stops at the end of my bed.
Asher climbs down and onto my bed. His skinny arms wrap around my body and I use my hand to tangle with his wild hair. Since his Daddy now refuses to cut his hair, Asher refuses to cut his hair. It’s all over the place and on most days I can’t do a thing with it. “Momma I was scared. You always tuck me in and Daddy said you couldn’t today.”
I hold back tears and I avoid looking at Court. His eyes will blame me and I’ll start getting depressed all over again. Who am I kidding? I’m already fucking depressed. “How’s about you sleep in here with me tonight? I could
That hurts my heart that Court looks like shit. I did that to him. “What happened with Donovan wasn’t assault. I never tried to stop him, not that I liked it or anything, but I never said no.”
Paisley rolls her eyes. “There are other forms of sexual assault. It doesn’t always involve rape. He touched you and you didn’t like it. Annabella said he used GHB on you and that’s probably why any of it happened in the first place.”
I think about the angry way he tried to take my pants off. I think about how confused I was about the whole thing. I could barely move my arms and legs. I thought it was because I was drunk but…no that’s not what happened. Donovan wouldn’t hurt anyone like that. He’s a good man. Well, not completely good since he came on to me. “It wasn’t like that. He didn’t drug me.”
Paisley stands up and moves across the room towards me. She crouches until she’s eye to eye with me. “Think about it Rachel. What would Donovan gain from trying to sleep with you? Think about how much Court loves you and how devastated he is. Donovan had motive and you know it.”
“That doesn’t make any sense! Why would he try to get back at Court five years after Court slept with Annabella? He’s been with me since then and he was fucking happy.” I close my eyes and block out how happy we were. “We’ll never be that happy again.”
“This isn’t your fault. Rachel, Donovan did this to make Court pay. Revenge makes people do crazy things and Donovan’s had plenty of time to plan his revenge. He waited until Pierce was secure and happy before he struck. That’s why you’re struggling with it. Neither of you were expecting it and that’s what that son of a bitch wanted.” She stands all the way up and moves away from me. “He didn’t care about you or Asher. And we all know he didn’t care about Pierce. I just want you to think on that. You have to see what’s really going on here. Not what your brain is telling you. Listen to your heart.” Then she picks up her bag off the floor and leaves the room.
I still don’t believe that Donovan would drug me and try to have sex with me simply to hurt Court. He could have done something years ago, he wouldn’t wait until now. It just doesn’t make any sense.
***
“There she is. See, I told you she didn’t run away.” I hear his voice in my sleep and it makes me smile. Court’s voice can always make me smile.
Then I open my eyes and realize he’s really here. He stands at my bedroom door holding our son and looking like hell. He’s never been more handsome to me. Probably because we haven’t gone one day without talking to each other. Unless you count that time I broke up with him for stupid as hell reasons. We’ll just forget that happened.
“What are y’all doing here?” I mumble, sitting up in bed and running my fingers through my hair.
“Asher thought you ran away and you weren’t ever coming back. He wouldn’t calm down until I promised to show him you were still in town.” He comes into the room and stops at the end of my bed.
Asher climbs down and onto my bed. His skinny arms wrap around my body and I use my hand to tangle with his wild hair. Since his Daddy now refuses to cut his hair, Asher refuses to cut his hair. It’s all over the place and on most days I can’t do a thing with it. “Momma I was scared. You always tuck me in and Daddy said you couldn’t today.”
I hold back tears and I avoid looking at Court. His eyes will blame me and I’ll start getting depressed all over again. Who am I kidding? I’m already fucking depressed. “How’s about you sleep in here with me tonight? I could
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