Read Online Naw Much of a Talker by Pedro Lenz - Free Book Online Page A

but can ye, cos friends ur friends an’ they two wur the only two ah hid, ahd known them since nursery, an’ wid she, Regula,
please fur-fuckin-chrissake believe me please, even the fuckin polis believed me, an’ it wisnae as if that didnae tell ye summit if ye stopped tae think aboot it etc.
    An’ then she said awright then an’ that she wis goin iceskatin oan Saturday wi her wee godchild an’ ah kid come alang if ah wantit, that wey we kid skate a bit an’ talk
an’ she’d treat me tae a hot punch, it wid dae me guid.
    It wisnae bad tae start wi. Ah hired a pair ae skates an’ kid tell right away ah wis still naw bad at it. Like smokin, it is: if, at some point, yiv learnt how tae dae it, ye nivver really
forget. Then but, when we let her wee godchild skate aroon oan her ain a bit an’ we jist stood at the side jist, she wis suddenly wantin tae know again, Regula, how it wis ahd done time.
    Know summit, Regi, ah dont like talkin aboot it. Mibbe but, at some point, in Religion or at Sunday school, someone tellt ye whit a scapegoat is. The auld Israelites piled aw the junk that wis
burdenin them ontae a goat – symbolically, of course – then chased it oot intae the wilderness. So the goat’s oot in the wilderness, wi aw the sins an’ lies an’ crimes
ae humanity oan its shooders, cannae find anythin tae drink an’ so it dies ae thirst an’ nivver comes back of course, dis it, an’ the people aw rejoice, gi’in it: this is
guid, noo it’s guid, noo aw that junk’s been left behind in the wilderness. As fur us, wiv been liberated. Guid oan ye, scapegoat!
    That’s roughly whit happened tae me an’ aw, cept ah ended up bein the goat though ahm naw an effin goat an’ ma wilderness wis in among the lakes – the
Joke, tae be precise – an’ nae cunt ivver gave it ‘guid oan ye’. The opposite, in fact.
    Wis ah suggestin ahd done time fur ither folk an’ if so, how hid ah? An’ fur who?
    Ye see, Regi, those ur the very questions nae cunt’s intristit in any mair. That’s how ah tend naw tae talk aboot it.
    But ah ahm, Goalie. Ahm interested, Regula said.
    Ah pit ma airm roon her – tae make things a bit mair intimate like – afore ah opened up. Jist ma luck but: at that very moment, her wee goddaughter hit the ice, so tae speak, then
made an immediate beeline fur her, cryin her wee eyes oot cos she’d hurtit her knee or shin or summit. So we’d tae change the subject.
    Eftir the skatin, she took the wean back tae her sister. Ah went wi her an’ asked wid she let me treat her tae her dinner.
    Ur ye back in the money?
    Widda hiv asked if ah wisnae? It’s naw as if we need tae go tae a five-star joint, is it. We kid go tae ma place, fur instance, an’ ah kid cook her summit.
    Buddy’s expectin me but.
    Ah let oan ahd tae work oot who this Buddy guy wis. Then suddenly gave it: och aye, Buddy, ahd forgot aw aboot him, jist aboot. Buddy! How cant ye jist forget him?
    She’d nae immediate answer tae that, an’ that pleased me in itsel cos if ye cant come up wi reasons fur how ye want tae be wi someone, that mibbe means that relationship isnae daein
it any mair fur ye. An’ that ye shid mibbe think aboot cawin it a day. Ah didnae actually say it, ah knew but – gi’en hawf the chance – ah kid get used tae the idea.
    Ah lost the place a bit that evenin, hiv tae admit. Wis a late night wi Stofer at the brewery. Stofer’s a poor bastard. A naw-very-successful runner ah know fae afore
an’ aw. It wis obvious, even at school, he’d hiv a hard time wan day: he wis bein tormented even in they days. He’s hardly any friends, Stofer. Pesche takes care ae him
occasionally, Uli did when he wis still able tae, an’ there’s mibbe anither two or three guys like that. That disnae mean but ye hiv tae stay in the brewery aw fuckin night, listenin
tae aw they stories an’ knockin that many jars back. Stofer’s someone but who makes me feel sorry fur him, mibbe even wrongly, cos there’s