Read Online Naked Tao by Robert Grant - Free Book Online

maybe we would have openly explored it together. Instead, I was left feeling betrayed and hurt. 
    “So you don’t think Ginny rejected me tonight for someone else,” I asked. 
    “There is no one else in her eyes,” said Kinsey. “I don’t know why she feels that way about you. She has always worshiped you and you have always ignored her. You have always chosen the likes of Cindy, the cheerleader, and Cynthia, the lesbian, over her. What the hell were you thinking?” 
    “I did what I was told and always kept my distance from her,” I said. “I wish I had figured out sooner that her mom is insane and that Ginny still has feelings for me.” 
    “Ginny has been trying to tell you for years, but you always refused to see it,” said Kinsey. “Open your eyes, Grant.” 
    Some part of me knew all of this back then, but I was too terrified of her mother to do anything about it. Ignoring these feelings had been a bad strategy. I now saw that the cost had been huge. 
    As for Ginny, her light dimmed after the childhood incident with her mother. I watched from a distance as she gradually declined and withdrew into books. I sensed her constant pain and had the power to do something about it. I could have helped her, but I didn’t. I was too busy being afraid and trying to cope with my own dysfunctional relationships. I wish now that I had faced my fears. So much pain could have been avoided. I had failed her. 
    “Why are you just now telling me this?” I asked. 
    “When we were teenagers, I made a solemn vow to Ginny that I would keep this secret,” said Kinsey, “but you kept making a fool of yourself and it’s too painful to watch.” 
    I was already feeling pretty lame, but Kinsey still had plenty more to say. 
    “One more thing, you need to convince her that she is the one you choose…that you desire her above all others,” said Kinsey. “That shouldn’t be too hard. I mean, here you are at a sex party, all these women want you, and you spend the night rushing around looking for Ginny.  Seriously, you kicked our bedroom door in because you thought she was in there and someone was hurting her. It’s time for you to be honest with Ginny, and with yourself, about how you feel about her, Grant.” 
    It was suddenly so clear, of course I want to choose Ginny, but my wounds were deep. I felt I didn’t deserve her. My behavior toward her had not been admirable or lovable. I was also very afraid of rejection…afraid I’d get hurt. “Again, what if she doesn’t choose me,” I asked.
    “Think about it, Grant,” said Kinsey. “If you allow her to consider all the options, see as many guys as she wants, and she chooses you, then you know you’re the one for her. That takes confidence…it takes guts, but the reward is huge…the relationship home run…you have a real shot at something that might last.” 
    “You want me to show her that I desire her above all others, but let her be with whoever she wants?” I asked. “I’m confused. Those two things seem inconsistent to me.” 
    Kinsey winked at me and said, “You’re a smart guy. You’ll figure it out. Let’s rejoin the party.” 
    I have to admit I wanted to talk about it a lot more, but Kinsey was done talking. Instead, I staked a claim at the dining room table, where I sat with a bottle of Patron hoping Ginny would stop by and have a drink with me. I know it was kind of lame, but searching the house for her hadn’t worked out too well. 
    Plenty of other folks stopped by the table to chat with me and share their tequila stories. Most of the stories began with, “I don’t drink tequila because…and ended with I’ll never do that again.”  For some reason, they never refused the shot of the Patron I offered while I listened to their stories. 
    Unfortunately, Ginny was not one of them. I didn’t see any sign of her for the rest of the evening. Clearly she left the party, and despite the advice Kinsey gave earlier, I wasn’t too