Read Online Myth-Ing Persons by Robert Asprin - Free Book Online
Authors: Robert Asprin
Tags: Fiction, General, Science-Fiction, sf_fantasy, Fantasy fiction, Fantasy, Juvenile Fiction, Science Fiction; Fantasy; & Magic, Missing Persons
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chance to collect my scattered thoughts and try to formulate a plan. When they finished, I still had a long way to go on both counts.
"I must admit, viewed from the light of this new information, the whole thing does sound a little suspicious," the vampire said thoughtfully.
"A little suspicious!" Massha snorted. "It's phonier than a smiling Deveel!"
"Tell ya what," Guido began, "just give us a few minutes alone with these witnesses of yours and we'll shake the truth out of 'em."
"I'm afraid that will be a little difficult," the Dispatcher said, eyeing the ceiling. "You see, they haven't been around for a while. Disappeared right after the trial."
"The trial!?" I snapped, abandoning my efforts to collect my wits. "You mean the trial's already been held?"
The vampire nodded.
"That's right. Needless to say, your friend was found guilty."
"Why do I get the feeling he didn't get a suspended sentence for a first offense?" Guido growled under his breath.
"As a matter of fact, he's been slated for execution at the end of the week," Vilhelm admitted.
That got me out of my seat and pacing.
"We've got to do something," I said needlessly. "How about it, Vilhelm? Can you help us out at all? Any chance of getting the verdict reversed or at least a stay of execution?"
"I'm afraid not. Character witnesses alone wouldn't change anything, and as for new evidence, it would only be your word against the existing witnesses… and you've already admitted the defendant is a friend of yours. Mind you, I believe you, but there are those who would suspect you'd say anything or fabricate any kind of tale to save your partner."
"But can you personally give us a hand?"
"No, I can't," the vampire said, turning away. "You all seem like real nice folks, and your friend is probably the salt of the earth, but I have to live here and deal with these people for a long time. If I sided with outsiders against the town legal system, my whole career would go down the drain whether I was right or not. It's not pretty and I don't like it, but that's the way things are."
"We could fix it so you like it a lot less!" Guido said darkly, reaching into his coat.
"Stop it, Guido," I ordered. "Let's not forget the help Vilhelm's already given us. It's a lot more than we expected to get when we first came into this dimension, so don't go making enemies out of the only friend we've got locally. Okay?"
The bodyguard sank back into his chair, muttering something I was just as glad I didn't hear, but his hand came out of his coat empty and stayed in sight.
"So what do we do now. Hot Stuff?" Massha sighed.
"The only thing I can think of is to try to locate those witnesses before the execution date," I said. "What I can't figure is how to go about looking without getting half the town down on our necks."
"What we really need is a bloodhound," Guido grumbled.
"Say, that's not a bad idea!" Vilhelm exclaimed, coming to life. "Maybe I can help you after all!"
"You got a bloodhound?" the bodyguard said, raising his eyebrows.
"Even better," the vampire declared. "I don't know why I didn't think of it before. The ones you need to get in touch with are the Woof Writers."
I studied him-carefully to see if this were some kind of joke.
"The Woof Writers?" I repeated at last.
"Well, that's what we in Blut call them behind their backs. Actually, they're a husband-wife team of werewolves who are on a big crusade to raise sympathy for humans."
"Werewolves," I said carefully.
"Sure. We got all kinds here in Limbo. Anyway, if anyone in this dimension will be willing to stick their necks out for you, they're the ones. They do their own thing and don't really give a hang what any of the other locals think about it. Besides, werewolves are second to none when it comes to sniffing out a trail."
"Werewolves." I repeated.
Vilhelm cocked his head at me curiously.
"Am I imagining things, Skeeve, or didn't you just say that?"
"What's more," Massha smiled sweetly, "he'll
"I must admit, viewed from the light of this new information, the whole thing does sound a little suspicious," the vampire said thoughtfully.
"A little suspicious!" Massha snorted. "It's phonier than a smiling Deveel!"
"Tell ya what," Guido began, "just give us a few minutes alone with these witnesses of yours and we'll shake the truth out of 'em."
"I'm afraid that will be a little difficult," the Dispatcher said, eyeing the ceiling. "You see, they haven't been around for a while. Disappeared right after the trial."
"The trial!?" I snapped, abandoning my efforts to collect my wits. "You mean the trial's already been held?"
The vampire nodded.
"That's right. Needless to say, your friend was found guilty."
"Why do I get the feeling he didn't get a suspended sentence for a first offense?" Guido growled under his breath.
"As a matter of fact, he's been slated for execution at the end of the week," Vilhelm admitted.
That got me out of my seat and pacing.
"We've got to do something," I said needlessly. "How about it, Vilhelm? Can you help us out at all? Any chance of getting the verdict reversed or at least a stay of execution?"
"I'm afraid not. Character witnesses alone wouldn't change anything, and as for new evidence, it would only be your word against the existing witnesses… and you've already admitted the defendant is a friend of yours. Mind you, I believe you, but there are those who would suspect you'd say anything or fabricate any kind of tale to save your partner."
"But can you personally give us a hand?"
"No, I can't," the vampire said, turning away. "You all seem like real nice folks, and your friend is probably the salt of the earth, but I have to live here and deal with these people for a long time. If I sided with outsiders against the town legal system, my whole career would go down the drain whether I was right or not. It's not pretty and I don't like it, but that's the way things are."
"We could fix it so you like it a lot less!" Guido said darkly, reaching into his coat.
"Stop it, Guido," I ordered. "Let's not forget the help Vilhelm's already given us. It's a lot more than we expected to get when we first came into this dimension, so don't go making enemies out of the only friend we've got locally. Okay?"
The bodyguard sank back into his chair, muttering something I was just as glad I didn't hear, but his hand came out of his coat empty and stayed in sight.
"So what do we do now. Hot Stuff?" Massha sighed.
"The only thing I can think of is to try to locate those witnesses before the execution date," I said. "What I can't figure is how to go about looking without getting half the town down on our necks."
"What we really need is a bloodhound," Guido grumbled.
"Say, that's not a bad idea!" Vilhelm exclaimed, coming to life. "Maybe I can help you after all!"
"You got a bloodhound?" the bodyguard said, raising his eyebrows.
"Even better," the vampire declared. "I don't know why I didn't think of it before. The ones you need to get in touch with are the Woof Writers."
I studied him-carefully to see if this were some kind of joke.
"The Woof Writers?" I repeated at last.
"Well, that's what we in Blut call them behind their backs. Actually, they're a husband-wife team of werewolves who are on a big crusade to raise sympathy for humans."
"Werewolves," I said carefully.
"Sure. We got all kinds here in Limbo. Anyway, if anyone in this dimension will be willing to stick their necks out for you, they're the ones. They do their own thing and don't really give a hang what any of the other locals think about it. Besides, werewolves are second to none when it comes to sniffing out a trail."
"Werewolves." I repeated.
Vilhelm cocked his head at me curiously.
"Am I imagining things, Skeeve, or didn't you just say that?"
"What's more," Massha smiled sweetly, "he'll
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