Read Online My Second Life by Faye Bird - Free Book Online Page B

me up — all of me — and the tears came — heavy. I thought they would never stop. “You should try!” Frances shouted, standing up awkwardly from her chair to look out of the window. “You should at least try after what you did!”
    I stood up, unsure of what to do. Frances had turned her back on me.
    I took in a breath. I wasn’t sure whether I should just leave, but I was suddenly too frightened to move.
    â€œIf I had anything left to lose — anything at all — I would be asking you to leave,” Frances said. “But I don’t.”
    And then she turned around to face me. “I’ll talk to you, Ana,” she said. “But don’t ask me to forgive you for what you did. Don’t ever ask me to do that.”
    â€œI understand,” I said. “I understand.” And I said it twice, because I did.
    *   *   *
    â€œHi! I’m back!” Rachel called out as she got in from work later that day. “How were the auditions?”
    â€œGood, yeah,” I said.
    I hadn’t made it in for registration. I’d got a late. I wasn’t going to tell her that now.
    â€œDo you think you’ll get a part?” Rachel asked, walking into the kitchen. I was making myself a snack.
    â€œMaybe,” I said, opening up the bread bin. “Are you okay to give me a sick note, by the way?”
    I turned my back on Rachel as I spoke, trying to avoid looking her in the face. I knew I was pushing my luck by asking for the note, but I just had to.
    â€œOkay,” she said. “This time. But please, no ditching again. There are no second chances if you ditch again. Do you understand?”
    â€œYeah,” I said, and I started buttering the bread. I was hungry.
    â€œYou’ve got your appetite back, I see.”
    â€œYeah,” I said. “I’ll just have a sandwich now, if that’s all right?”
    â€œFine. I’ll cook us something a bit later.” She paused. “Glad you’re feeling better.”
    My phone beeped with a text. It was from Jamie.
    Zak’s gathering is on. Will you come? x
    â€œRachel?” I said, turning to face her. “There’s a gathering on Saturday night. At Zak’s. Can I go?”
    â€œOkay,” she said. “But I don’t want you out late. Be back before eleven. If you can cope with that, then yes, you can go.”
    â€œThanks,” I said, picking up my phone.
    â€œWell, I think I’ll go up and have a bath,” she said. She paused for a moment in the doorway of the kitchen before she spoke again. “I love you, you know,” she said.
    â€œI know,” I said, but still I was looking at my phone.
    â€œAnd one day you’ll actually look at me and tell me you love me too, Ana Ross. Because I know that you do,” she said.
    I looked up at her, still smiling, and Rachel smiled back, like she always did. Except today I wasn’t sure whether behind the smile there was a sadness.
    But I didn’t want to think about that. Not now.
    I looked down at my phone again and texted back.
    Yes. I’ll be there. x
    And suddenly the world felt full of possibility, and all the sickness and the sadness I’d been feeling had dulled. It was almost gone.

 
    saturday
    13
    T HE GATHERING WAS MOST definitely a party. It didn’t matter what Zak wanted to call it. There must have been forty or fifty people standing around in the house — up the stairs, in the halls, hanging out, drinking. The music was loud as we walked in and there were loads of people I didn’t know, so I just followed Jamie. I could see he was checking out all the rooms, and who was there, until eventually we headed out the back door and into the garden, where there were people smoking cigarettes and chatting. Zak had his guitar out and was strumming some vaguely recognizable tune. Hannah was sitting next to him. She had her arm resting on his leg