Read Online My Life in Darkness by Harrison Drake - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Harrison Drake
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without hope.
I’ll find the strength, I have to. And maybe he will as well, the strength to realize that things aren’t as they should be, that he needs to find some help. We have three minutes and fifty-seven seconds this time, and the darkness will be pure again.
If it affects him the way it does me, it should be enough. I can see how uplifted he is after an eclipse, he looks stronger, happier. Like the darkness has filled him up, made him larger than life. And now, even as age hunches me over, it still does the same to me.
SEPTEMBER 23, 2071
Lena,
Here we are in another amazing place, almost forgotten by time. The ruins that surround us amaze me, how well maintained they are after over a thousand years. I’ve heard the stories, that the buildings here were designed and carefully placed to depict the solar system, including Pluto (remember when it was still a planet?). We didn’t discover Pluto until 1930.
Then there was all the talk about the Mayans predicting the end of the world. Obviously that never happened. But I do believe they had wisdom and knowledge that would have truly surprised us, including an understanding of the cosmos. Maybe they even knew this eclipse would come. They built the pyramid so that the sun would cast the shadow of a snake during the equinoxes, is it hard to believe that they would’ve known that this would happen today?
My son’s doing better now, I finally found it in me to talk to him, to do it properly. He was starting to get bad, talking to himself and ranting like I used to do. He was afraid of everything. I took him to the hospital, something he hated me for, but it had to be done. He’s medicated now, and doing much better.
But you can see that. He forgave me, thanked me even, for taking him to the hospital and he’s here now. It’s only been a few months, but everything seems so much better. He’s even found a girlfriend, a kindhearted and beautiful woman. She reminds me of you in a way, that same light in her eyes. Maybe I’ll live long enough to see grandchildren.
We’ve sacrificed some time to come and see the eclipse from here, totality will be cut short by over thirty seconds. But I think it’ll be worth it, just to be here. We still have almost two-ten, but it’s not lasting me as long these days.
And the next one is almost two years away.
Every time the moon passes by and the darkness recedes, I know it is time to leave once more. And every time, I worry that it will be the last time I see you, that fate will come for one of us. I want to be first to go, I couldn’t bear the thought of you dying, leaving me forever.
Tears are staining your letter again, and it’s becoming too dark for my failing eyes to see. We’ll meet again, I give you my word.
JANUARY 16, 2075
Lena,
I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry.
He’s gone.
And it’s all my fault.
I should have watched him closer, I should have helped him more.
There must have been something I could’ve done.
I can barely write this, my hands are shaking so badly.
All I wanted was for him to be happy.
It happened just before the last eclipse, the one in Argentina. That’s why I wasn’t there. I hadn’t heard from him in over a week, which was strange. He and I would talk almost every day. I went to his house and the doors and windows were all locked. Then I noticed his windows were sealed from the inside, sheets of plywood blocking them. I knew what was wrong.
I didn’t know how long he’d been in there. The snow wasn’t cleared from his driveway or car. I banged on the door as loud as I could and I called him again and again, but he never answered.
It took ages to get the door open, he had secured it well. I found him in his bedroom, hanging from a hook he’d drilled into the rafters. He’d barricaded the bedroom door as well. I dropped to my knees and started to cry, my heart beating fast in my chest. It took me a minute, some time to gain composure and when I did
I’ll find the strength, I have to. And maybe he will as well, the strength to realize that things aren’t as they should be, that he needs to find some help. We have three minutes and fifty-seven seconds this time, and the darkness will be pure again.
If it affects him the way it does me, it should be enough. I can see how uplifted he is after an eclipse, he looks stronger, happier. Like the darkness has filled him up, made him larger than life. And now, even as age hunches me over, it still does the same to me.
SEPTEMBER 23, 2071
Lena,
Here we are in another amazing place, almost forgotten by time. The ruins that surround us amaze me, how well maintained they are after over a thousand years. I’ve heard the stories, that the buildings here were designed and carefully placed to depict the solar system, including Pluto (remember when it was still a planet?). We didn’t discover Pluto until 1930.
Then there was all the talk about the Mayans predicting the end of the world. Obviously that never happened. But I do believe they had wisdom and knowledge that would have truly surprised us, including an understanding of the cosmos. Maybe they even knew this eclipse would come. They built the pyramid so that the sun would cast the shadow of a snake during the equinoxes, is it hard to believe that they would’ve known that this would happen today?
My son’s doing better now, I finally found it in me to talk to him, to do it properly. He was starting to get bad, talking to himself and ranting like I used to do. He was afraid of everything. I took him to the hospital, something he hated me for, but it had to be done. He’s medicated now, and doing much better.
But you can see that. He forgave me, thanked me even, for taking him to the hospital and he’s here now. It’s only been a few months, but everything seems so much better. He’s even found a girlfriend, a kindhearted and beautiful woman. She reminds me of you in a way, that same light in her eyes. Maybe I’ll live long enough to see grandchildren.
We’ve sacrificed some time to come and see the eclipse from here, totality will be cut short by over thirty seconds. But I think it’ll be worth it, just to be here. We still have almost two-ten, but it’s not lasting me as long these days.
And the next one is almost two years away.
Every time the moon passes by and the darkness recedes, I know it is time to leave once more. And every time, I worry that it will be the last time I see you, that fate will come for one of us. I want to be first to go, I couldn’t bear the thought of you dying, leaving me forever.
Tears are staining your letter again, and it’s becoming too dark for my failing eyes to see. We’ll meet again, I give you my word.
JANUARY 16, 2075
Lena,
I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry.
He’s gone.
And it’s all my fault.
I should have watched him closer, I should have helped him more.
There must have been something I could’ve done.
I can barely write this, my hands are shaking so badly.
All I wanted was for him to be happy.
It happened just before the last eclipse, the one in Argentina. That’s why I wasn’t there. I hadn’t heard from him in over a week, which was strange. He and I would talk almost every day. I went to his house and the doors and windows were all locked. Then I noticed his windows were sealed from the inside, sheets of plywood blocking them. I knew what was wrong.
I didn’t know how long he’d been in there. The snow wasn’t cleared from his driveway or car. I banged on the door as loud as I could and I called him again and again, but he never answered.
It took ages to get the door open, he had secured it well. I found him in his bedroom, hanging from a hook he’d drilled into the rafters. He’d barricaded the bedroom door as well. I dropped to my knees and started to cry, my heart beating fast in my chest. It took me a minute, some time to gain composure and when I did
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