Read Online My Homework Ate My Homework by Patrick Jennings - Free Book Online Page A

coming.” I’m a little annoyed at his negativity on a such a positive day, the day, in fact, I’ve been waiting for all my life. If I’d known he was going to act this way, I wouldn’t have suggested we pick him up on the way to school. I would have let him walk.
    We get out of the car, and Father calls out, “Your caged beast, m’lady?”
    He means Bandito. I really had fun with thatsilly mustelid over the weekend. I’m actually a little sad I have to bring him back.
    “Help my father with the cage, will you, Wain? I need to get inside.”
    “Uh … sure,” he says.
    “Actually, Your Ladyship?” Father calls after me. “I was rather hoping you and your manservant, Wain, might tote the cage inside, if it’s not too much bother, as I must away to duties on another campus.”
    “Oh, all right!” I suppose even the biggest stars must sometimes perform normal, human tasks, even on the most important day of their lives.
    When Wain, Bandito, and I enter our classroom, there are two young strangers standing with Mr. O., a man and a woman. It’s obvious they are not from Bridge’s Creek, that they’re from Laramie, that they’re professional theater people. I drop my end of the cage onto a stray desk and head over to them.
    “Hey!” Wain gripes behind me.
    “Howdy! I’m Zaritza!” I say with as much Calamity Jane spunk as I can muster. I stick out my hand to shake. When they stare blankly at me, I add, “Welcome, thespians!”—which is a fancyword for
actors
. This isn’t very Calamity-like, but I’ve been rehearsing it for months and can’t not say it.
    The lady speaks first. She’s wearing glasses with lime-green frames, a plaid jumper over a white blouse with puffy short sleeves, and neon pink kneesocks. Her head is tangled into spiky red dreads. She’s definitely an artist. I mean, she’s not even wearing makeup. And her blouse is wrinkly, like she slept in it.
    “You have a ferret,” she says with a faux smile, then yawns. “Did she sleep well last night? Is it show-and-tell today?”
    “Is that what it is?” the man says. “A ferret? I thought it was a skinny possum.”
    He’s shorter than the lady but is better dressed. He’s wearing a dark green blazer and black pants, and shiny black leather shoes, though they’re scuffed. Under his blazer he’s wearing a red T-shirt with the same logo that was on the van. I can see it because his jacket is unbuttoned and his stomach is a bit rounded. He has a little pointy beard, though no mustache for some reason.
    Doesn’t a beard make it hard to play differentcharacters? Dreads, too, I bet. Maybe these two aren’t actors. Maybe they’re directors. Or
casting
directors. Maybe they’re just the ones who’ll be auditioning us.
    “Please take a seat, Zaritza,” Mr. O. says. “We’ll have introductions after the announcements. It’s going to be a full day.”
    “Yes!” I say. “A day filled with drama and comedy and tragedy! Of
theater
!” I rehearsed that line, too.
    “Sit down, Zaritza,” Mr. O. says again.
    What a buzzkill he is. But at least he said my name. Twice. That should help them remember it.
    “Okay, Mr. O.,” I say, then, as an aside to the theater pros, I add, “We’ll talk later.” I part with a finger-gun-shot and a hard wink.
    They laugh a little. They get me.
    Sitting through the Pledge and the announcements is misery, way worse than usual. Then, at long last, things get started.
    “As you all know, this week we are delighted to have the Laramie Traveling Children’s Theater Troupe with us—”
    Loud cheers erupt, mostly from me.
    “—who will be guiding you through the step-by-step process of putting on a stage play.”
    “A
musical
stage play,” the Laramie guy adds.
    “Right,” Mr. O. says. “This project will take place each morning till first lunch, which means normal morning activities will be canceled—”
    Really loud cheers erupt, and hooting, too. I love to hoot.
    “I thought you’d