Read Online My Forever by Jolene Perry - Free Book Online

important.”
     
    “I’m putting the baby up for adoption
.
I don’t even know if he knows yet. It’s just not important.” I’m determined. I want to fast forward past the next ten to thirty minutes of my life until this conversation is over. Unfortunately I’m stuck here. I don’t have that superpower.
     
    “Well it’s important to me!” He stands up, no longer able to contain his volume.
     
    I sit , waiting to hear what he’ll say next. Seriously, what else can I do? Yelling back won’t help, admitting everything won’t help. It’ll just make things worse for more people than me. No one else needs to be involved in this right now.
     
    “You can’t just put this baby up for adoption
,
Danielle. It’s fam ily,” M om says.
     
    I knew this argument would come up.
     
    I look down.
     
    “Don’t shake your head at me!”
     
    I don’t realize that I am. “I’m sorry,
D
ad. I’ve spent a lot of time praying about this , and I know it’s the right thing.”
     
    “Does this have anything to do with you being absent after school?” He’s suspicious and starting to piece things together.
     
    I don’t want to answer. More than I didn’t want to tell them I’m pregnant, I don’t want to answer. Why isn’t my wandering brain taking me out of this situation? I nod because I’m a terrible liar and know better than to attempt.
     
    “Care to explain?” He folds his arms across his chest. He’s still standing here, making his presence felt with every breath. He’s never raised his hand to me, but if he ever does, it’ll happen now.
     
    “I have a friend… who was adopted through the Mormon Church and it seemed like…”
     
    He rears back as if I’d slapped him across the face.
     
    “I’m sorry
, D
ad. I know it’s the right thing. I’ve prayed, so much. I’m just asking you to trust me a little.” But I know he won’t. This is not and never will be on his list of things he’ll allow.
     
    “You’re a kid ! You can’t know the right thing!” He growls out the words.
     
    “I’m eighteen.” Okay, this is a stupid thing to say , but I don’t think about how stupid it is until it comes out. It just happens in stressful situations , and I ’m shaking. I really can’t be expected to think clearly.
     
    “Then you can live like you’re eighteen
,
”
h
e says solidly, “
a
nd you can get out of my house.”
     
    My mother gasps behind him. She’s mad but doesn’t expect this.
     
    Air shoots out of my lungs. I didn’t think he would kick me out. What about all of that unconditional love stuff and lifting up those who are down? Not judging lest ye be judged? It runs through my head like lightning. Like fire. I start for my room. What will I pack? How much time will I have? Where will I go?
     
    “Door is that way
,
Dani.” Dad points.
     
    “But my stuff…”
     
    “ I bought that stuff!” He’s yelling again, his face a new shade of red
,
and he’s pointing to the back door. “It stays here !” He’s so loud I swear I can feel it through every cell of my body. My shaking’s not just internal anymore. Morning sickness is back, just like that. Only I can’t throw up now.
     
    I stumble through the kitchen, grab my coat and school pack. I’m immediately so, so thankful my camera’s in there. I open the backdoor and close it behind me, resisting the urge to slam it as hard as I can. Again, I’m numb, it seems like such a contrast to what I should feel. I have no idea where to go.
     
    I can’t go to Jill or Kristin’s houses. I can’t bring myself to call Tracy or Michael. Zack’s not an option. It’s dark outside and getting late. My feet take me up the road. I have to think of somewhere that’s still open, that will be open. It’s a mile out of our subdivision and another mile to the grocery store.
     
    I stand just inside the fro
nt
door of the grocery store for a while. I have n’t eaten dinner. I have a five- dollar bill and a few