Read Online My Dog's a Scaredy-Cat by Henry Winkler - Free Book Online Page B

asked.
    â€œDad,” I tried to explain, “it has to be dark. We’re just about to open the haunted house. See, we decided to build it and . . .”
    â€œI know,” he interrupted. “Emily told me all about it. Nevertheless, I need the lights on.”
    â€œBut lights and ghosty things just don’t go together.”
    â€œDo you see this?” my dad said, holding up a white plastic bag. “It contains the brand-new edition of the New York Times Big Book of Crossword Puzzles . I have been waiting for this to come out for two months. Now tell me, Hank, how can I read the clues in the dark?”
    â€œDad, I can’t believe you’re thinking about crossword puzzles tonight. This is H-A-L-L-O-W-E-E-N. As in an eight-letter word for scary fun holiday.”
    â€œHank, Halloween has nine letters.”
    Is my dad a total spelling machine, or what?
    I tried to explain that we needed the living room totally dark for the haunted house, but my dad just wasn’t in a listening mood. Luckily, my mom must have overheard our conversation. She waltzed into the living room, hooked her arm in his, and flashed me this little wink she does with her left eye. Maybe it’s her right eye. You know I can’t tell the difference. It didn’t matter, because that wink meant she had a plan.
    â€œCome in the kitchen, Stanley,” she said. “I’ve got a nice cauliflower-and-beet stew for us—and your favorite mechanical pencil is just waiting for you in the kitchen.”
    â€œSounds like my kind of evening,” my dad said. Without even a backward glance, my mom waltzed into the kitchen with my dad.
    Randi Zipzer, you are a rock star!
    I didn’t even have time to say thanks because there it was again. The doorbell. This time I knew it had to be Heather Payne. Or maybe Luke Whitman.
    Oh boy, the fun was about to start!

CHAPTER 16

    â€œCOMING!” I heard myself holler.
    Oh no. That voice wouldn’t do. It sounded exactly like me.
    â€œComing!” I repeated in my deepest, creepiest voice. “The spirits are preparing to let you in!”
    Oh yes. That was much better.
    Ashley dashed back into the haunted house and stuck her head through the hole in the cardboard. I was on my way to the front door but stopped halfway. I turned, ran back to Ashley, and blasted a few last-minute squirts of ketchup on her cheeks. If I didn’t know better myself, I would’ve thought she was nothing more than a bloody head on a plate. I threw the napkin over her head.
    â€œHank, the flashlight!” she whispered.
    I handed it to her. Frankie took his position at the spider fishing pole and flashed me the okay sign. I went to the front door, turning on the tape recorder just before I got there. The apartment echoed with the sounds of Frankie’s moans and groans.
    I opened the door just a crack.
    â€œDo you dare enter the chamber of fear?” I growled.
    There was silence on the other side of the door, so I went for it even more.
    â€œCome in at your own risk. Ghosts and goblins await you.” Then I let out a really crazed laugh.
    â€œMommy!” a little voice cried. “I want to go home!”
    That didn’t sound like Heather Payne. And it sure didn’t sound like Luke Whitman. Besides, there was no bad smell coming through the crack in the door. Luke doesn’t like to take baths too often.
    â€œTyler,” a woman’s voice said. “It’s your friend Hank. He’s just pretending to be scary.”
    â€œNo, he isn’t,” said the little voice. “He’s really scary, and I’m scared of all scary things!”
    Oh no. It was Tyler King, the five-year-old who lives on our floor. He’s the last person on earth I’d want to scare. I flicked on the lights and opened the door all the way.
    â€œSee, Tyler, it’s just me, Hank!” I said.
    â€œI’m not Tyler,” he whimpered, still