Read Online Mucked Up by Danny Katz - Free Book Online Page B

onstage. He is the star of the show. He’ll wear like a suit and tie, like he works somewhere in a city somewhere, and he just faces the audience with a sad look on his face. It is a very sad rock opera, did I tell you that? The singers point at him and sing more …

    I called my main guy Peter O’Devlin because at school we have the Peter O’Devlin Lecture Theatre where they have lectures and school meetings. I don’t know who Peter O’Devlin actually was, he may’ve been a massive douche, but it sounds like a name that a normal person would have, like just a guy who would work in the city.
    soooooo the direction of the force on the airrrrrrr on the birrrrrd … which issssss downward … isssssssss … opposite the direction of the force
    So this Peter O’Devlin guy now stands in front of the intense singers and starts to sing …

    I know I can do better than the egg/ham line, ‘man’ and ‘ham’ don’t even really rhyme properly. It’s actually pretty crap songwriting, and I’m a profesh so I should be able to do better than that.

    Life is a good rhyming word, can get lots of rhymes for life like knife, strife – life and strife are good. Or …
    Wife, yeah yeah something about a wife.

    Lawwwwwd, how’d I do that?????? Sometimes it’s like magic with me, like I don’t have control over it, the words just come out of some magic place, told you I was a freak. Now I leap into that killer F-sharp chord-jump again …

    You know, if the audience isn’t sobbing their faces off already, then the world doesn’t know what rock opera writing is. Cos this is a huuuuuuge sad rock opera opening-song about how everyone needs love in—
    ‘Getting any of this bird biz, Zurb …?’
    The hell! Can’t he see I’m in the middle of composing? If flarping Thom flarping Yorke was sitting and writing ‘Paranoid Android’ and Jack S kept knocking him with his elbow and bugging him in the middle of it, he may never have finished the OK Computer album and changed the world of music for FLARPING ever.
    ‘… cos I’m not getting any of it.’
    ‘ SHUT IT, JACK, I’M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE BUT YOU JUST KEEP AT ME!!!!! ’
    Bit harsh but he wouldn’t stop, what am I supposed to do? Awww, look at him, all shocked. Sort of leaning back in his chair, scrunched up like a scared dog.
    the forrrrce onnnnnn the bird … which isssssss … upppppward
    ‘Why you being so mean to me, Zurb?’
    ‘I’m not being mean to you.’
    ‘I just don’t know what I’ve done to you.’
    ‘Cos it’s a classroom and we are in class and I am trying to listen to the teacher and you keep pissing round!’
    and the forrrrrrce on the birrrrrd now isssssss … downwarrrrrrd
    ‘But it’s not just here. You’re kind of ignoring me all the time, just noticed it over the last little while, like I’ve done something bad to you.’
    ‘No I’m not ignoring you, what’re you on about?’
    ‘We used to be good buds but now it’s like you’re angry at me all the time. Is it cos I’m with Jarrell?’
    ??????
    Not even going to answer that.
    ‘That’s what Jarrell reckons. She reckons you’ve changed since we started going together because you don’t like us going together.’
    ‘Why would I care? It’s good that you’re together.’
    ‘Because if you do care, Tom, I’ll break up with her, I’d do it to keep our friendship. That’s the most important thing to me.’
    ‘I want you two to be together. I’m happy about it.’
    ‘Y’sure, bro? Cos I want you to be okay with it.’
    ‘Yeah I am. Of course. Just, y’know, not sure whether – like – she’s – good enough for you, Jack, that’s all.’
    ‘Of course she’s good enough for me, she’s TOO good for me. I’m not good enough for her. I feel lucky every day that I got her and I want to be smarter for her and try harder in school for her.’
    Vommmm. I’m smiling and nodding while he tells me this but I know the fact: poor dickweed thinks it’s real but it’s