Read Online Mucked Up by Danny Katz - Free Book Online Page A

in Fig. 1 above, the Xtreme vommy-womminess of a relationship is inversely proportional to the length of the relationship (Lr), thus they do not have long at all and they will probably not be going round with each other for very much—
    ‘ PIG!!!!!!!! ’
    Someone yells that so we all turn to look at the side of the class where the yell came from. Mandy Karaniki is pointing out the window at the little grassy lane outside the Science block where the school ends and the fence is.
    ‘ THE PIG’S OUT THERE! ’
    Everyone’s getting up out of their chairs, going ‘Where? Whaaaa?’ and Boring Brady/Bennett/Brown is going, ‘Please … sit dowwwwwwnnnn …’
    ‘But a pig’s out there!’
    People are pushing out their chairs, skreeeek skreeeek, so they can get to Mandy’s window to see. I just sit there and Jack S sits next to me, waiting to see what I’ll do because he has no brain to make decisions for himself.
    Cody Carruthers is the first to Mandy’s window and he pushes her away so he can look out. ‘Where?’
    ‘There,’ says Mandy Karaniki.
    Richard Brincat pushes Mandy more out of the way, ‘Lemme see it.’
    ‘$#%@!’ says Cody Carruthers. He shouldn’t be doing crude-languaging in class, but as if Boring Brady/ Brown/Bennett is going to do anything about it.
    Dougy Mansour tries to stick his head in front of Cody, ‘Reckon it’s the same pig as this morning?’
    ‘No, ya dumb $#%@ ,’ goes Cody, ‘there are HUNDREDS of pigs in nappies all over the school.’ He pushes Dougy’s head out of the way so he can keep looking.
    ‘Back to yourrrrr … seats pleaaaaaaase … we are innnnnnnn the middle of …’
    The teacher is talking in such a yawwwwny way he even bores himself, loses interest halfway through his sentence and just stands there watching everyone looking out of Mandy’s window.
    Girls are going ‘Awwwwww!’ and ‘Cuuuute’ and ‘It’s just a baby.’
    Boys are going ‘Haw haw’ and ‘Who’s hungry for bacon?’ and ‘I saw it this morning and it did a crap.’
    Jack S is looking at me: ‘Should I go look at the pig?’
    ‘Do what you like, Jack, I’m not your boss, jeeeeez.’
    ‘Thanks, Zurb.’ He skreeeks his chair, gets up and goes over to the pack at Mandy’s window, hanging over them to look out.
    ‘Hey Mandy, your sister’s looking for ya.’ (Brincat)
    ‘Funny AS, Richard.’ (Mandy)
    ‘Haw haw.’
    ‘It’s running away.’
    ‘Don’t go, piggy!’
    ‘It’s running off to find Mandy, haw haw.’
    ‘It’s gone.’
    ‘Where’d it go?’
    ‘Think it went under the fence.’
    ‘Piggy’s gone.’
    Everyone starts going back to their seats because the pig is gone.
    ‘Thannnnnnk you … back to yourrrrrr seats … let us get backkkkkkk to worrrrrrk…’
    Skreek-skreeking as chairs pull out again, people sit down, haw hawwwwing.
    ‘It was in a nappy.’
    ‘So random.’
    Jack S sits down next to me, ‘Can’t believe it was a real pig.’
    ‘It’s just a pig, Jack, no big deal.’
    ‘No PIG deal!’ He laughs but I don’t so he goes quiet.
    soooooooo as weeeee have been discussssssing … if you have aaaaaa pair of forces acting … onnnnnnn two interacting objects
    I feel bad for the baby pig, poor little thing, just freaking out, running round, doesn’t know where to go, stuck at school …
    the size of the forces onnnnnnn the firrrrrrrrrst object … equals the size of the force onnnnnnn the seccccccccond
    … stuck here, hating the place, hating the day, just wanting to go home. Just like me, both of us just trying to survive a day.
    Just wants a bit of happiness. Like the main guy in my rock opera HumanKind that I have been working on.
    sooooooo consider aaaaaa … bird flying with its wingsssssss … the wings of the bird pushhhhhh … air downwards
    I’ve got the first verse of the opening song for the rock opera but I’m struggling a bit with the next part. I think the bunch of singers is going to step back and the main guy will walk