Read Online More than Just Sex by Ali Campbell - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Ali Campbell
Tags: dating
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male/female courting behaviour (what a job!). The good doctor has created one of the world’s most highly regarded pieces of research into interpersonal relations and dating in his book Sex Signals: The Biology of Love.
‘Women have vested nearly all their actions with symbolic meaning. Physical distance, topic of conversation, degree and intensity of eye contact and choice of locale have all been assigned and exquisitely developed into a coordinated set of preceptive and rejective meanings. Women employ their total environment symbolically: every thing and every act in it consciously expresses how they feel about the man.’
Translation: she’s giving off exactly the kind of signals I am talking about.
‘We cannot conclude, however, that women actually succeed in communicating with men through these symbolic meanings. In part that depends on what he thinks the woman’s behaviour means. Profound chasms of miscommunication exist between men and women concerning these meanings…’
Translation: but YOU just don’t get it!
‘The skilled objective observer (you), very soon therefore has little trouble understanding the woman’s intentions even if her male partner can’t.’
Translation: but you will soon! And be way ahead of the game and the wannabe PUA players whose openers and ‘sets’ are so obvious to women now as to make them laughable.
So there you have it: rock-solid, research-based proof that covert signals are there for you to see every day, if only you adjust your focus and give her some of the same attentionyou give elsewhere. It really is that simple and by the time you can spot her signals as quickly as you can spot a Ferrari tail-light on a dark motorway, you’ll be laughing all the way to the sack… and way beyond.
But the best bit is that she will be so used to sending out unrequited signals that when someone does get the hint, she will be bowled over that not only do you externalize what she is looking for and live up to your initial billing, but you are also confident and enough of a man to take her on. And if you take her on with her signals, you can take her on a date with intent.
Contrast that with what she is used to. The guys she is interested in just not getting it or being constantly hit on with ‘the opinion opener’ or ‘the situation opener’ or being ‘negged’ by some guy she has no interest in. I was recently sitting having a drink with a group of female friends and do you know what they were talking about? PUA and how two of them had been negged at the bar that weekend and another had been asked about her shoes. Shoes, the PUAs will tell you, are of special significance to women because they are so personal and there is so much choice that a compliment about her shoes is a compliment about her. But then they follow it up with a gentle ‘neg’ such as ‘are they Louboutin?’ so that chances are she will have to say ‘no, they’re just from the high street’ and feel slightly bad for not living up to expectations. Please do yourself a favour, it’s not right and even worse for your chances as the girls you are approaching know exactly what you are up to.
So, the first proper step is to learn how to turn your sensory acuity all the way up so that you take in moreinformation and have much more with which to work. Think of it like turning up the resolution on life. If you are going to make any headway with women, you are going to have to start paying attention.
Fieldwork
Think of the last attractive woman you saw. What was she wearing? What colour was her hair? If you work in an office or retail environment, I want you to really start to pay attention to your female colleagues. Would you notice if one of them changed their hairstyle? How about if they changed their car? Yep, I thought so. You see, despite what you might think, your sensory acuity is already there. You just need to focus it differently.
Would you notice that your mate had a new piece of sports kit?
‘Women have vested nearly all their actions with symbolic meaning. Physical distance, topic of conversation, degree and intensity of eye contact and choice of locale have all been assigned and exquisitely developed into a coordinated set of preceptive and rejective meanings. Women employ their total environment symbolically: every thing and every act in it consciously expresses how they feel about the man.’
Translation: she’s giving off exactly the kind of signals I am talking about.
‘We cannot conclude, however, that women actually succeed in communicating with men through these symbolic meanings. In part that depends on what he thinks the woman’s behaviour means. Profound chasms of miscommunication exist between men and women concerning these meanings…’
Translation: but YOU just don’t get it!
‘The skilled objective observer (you), very soon therefore has little trouble understanding the woman’s intentions even if her male partner can’t.’
Translation: but you will soon! And be way ahead of the game and the wannabe PUA players whose openers and ‘sets’ are so obvious to women now as to make them laughable.
So there you have it: rock-solid, research-based proof that covert signals are there for you to see every day, if only you adjust your focus and give her some of the same attentionyou give elsewhere. It really is that simple and by the time you can spot her signals as quickly as you can spot a Ferrari tail-light on a dark motorway, you’ll be laughing all the way to the sack… and way beyond.
But the best bit is that she will be so used to sending out unrequited signals that when someone does get the hint, she will be bowled over that not only do you externalize what she is looking for and live up to your initial billing, but you are also confident and enough of a man to take her on. And if you take her on with her signals, you can take her on a date with intent.
Contrast that with what she is used to. The guys she is interested in just not getting it or being constantly hit on with ‘the opinion opener’ or ‘the situation opener’ or being ‘negged’ by some guy she has no interest in. I was recently sitting having a drink with a group of female friends and do you know what they were talking about? PUA and how two of them had been negged at the bar that weekend and another had been asked about her shoes. Shoes, the PUAs will tell you, are of special significance to women because they are so personal and there is so much choice that a compliment about her shoes is a compliment about her. But then they follow it up with a gentle ‘neg’ such as ‘are they Louboutin?’ so that chances are she will have to say ‘no, they’re just from the high street’ and feel slightly bad for not living up to expectations. Please do yourself a favour, it’s not right and even worse for your chances as the girls you are approaching know exactly what you are up to.
So, the first proper step is to learn how to turn your sensory acuity all the way up so that you take in moreinformation and have much more with which to work. Think of it like turning up the resolution on life. If you are going to make any headway with women, you are going to have to start paying attention.
Fieldwork
Think of the last attractive woman you saw. What was she wearing? What colour was her hair? If you work in an office or retail environment, I want you to really start to pay attention to your female colleagues. Would you notice if one of them changed their hairstyle? How about if they changed their car? Yep, I thought so. You see, despite what you might think, your sensory acuity is already there. You just need to focus it differently.
Would you notice that your mate had a new piece of sports kit?
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