I closed my eyes and reached out around me, expanding my inner sight as far as it would go.
I saw nothing human, although I saw plenty of glowing life forms, ranging from mice to a young deer. That I suddenly imagined myself pursuing the deer and feasting upon it might have had more to do with my recent viewing of the Twilight movies, than any bloodlust.
Still, I idly wondered what the deer’s blood would taste like. Probably warm and delicious. I rarely, if ever, feasted on a living animal, and wasn’t about to start tonight—Oh yes, I’d almost forgotten that time I had gone to a castle in Switzerland on a business trip and was accommodated, but I hadn’t killed for my supper...someone had done it for me.
Try it, came a sudden thought. A very distant, faint, small thought at the far reaches of awareness. It sounded like my own thoughts, admittedly. Like something that had originated within me, but I knew, somehow, that it wasn’t mine. It was too firm. Too controlling. Too evil.
It was her.
The entity that lived within me. I was sure of it, and it was, I was certain, the first time she had ever directly communicated with me.
I snapped back into my body, as a cold shiver came over me. The image of the grazing deer disappeared in a literal blink. I rubbed my arms and then my temples and wished like hell I hadn’t just heard those two words. I wished like hell she would stay far away, or stay buried. I did not want to have to listen to her, too.
Indeed, hearing her now, her words rising up from the depths of my subconscious, hit too close to home.
Now she was pissing me off.
More importantly, though, hearing a second set of thoughts in my head, thoughts that sounded far too similar to my own, felt a bit like I was going insane.
As I stood there in the woods, feeling the scattered energy of a heinous murder around me, seeing animals I shouldn’t see, hearing sounds I shouldn’t hear, and hungering for something no sane person should ever hunger for, I knew I was fighting a demon of another kind.
My own personal demon.
No, I wasn’t talking about her, the entity buried within me.
Ever since I first woke up in the hospital bed seven years ago, back when I first felt the changes coming over me, back when I first knew that I would never be normal again, I also wondered something else.
I wondered if I had gone insane.
At what point I had gone insane, I didn’t know. Maybe I’d had enough of my kids fighting. Maybe I’d had enough of Anthony’s skid marks. Or of Danny’s cheating. Or of life itself. Maybe I had checked out long ago, mentally, that is. Maybe my mind was long, long gone.
And hearing a second voice in my head seemed to confirm that. Seemed to confirm my worst fears.
I didn’t want to go insane. I didn’t want to lose my mind.
I took a few deep, shuddering, worthless breaths...breaths that served no purpose other than to calm me down. Except the first few didn’t do anything for me, but the next batch did. Finally, finally, I felt myself calming down. I reminded myself that I’d been hearing voices in my head for over a year now, ever since I’d first heard Fang’s whispered thoughts.
This was no different, right?
But it was different. It was very different. Fang’s thoughts sounded like Fang. I heard his inflections, his tone, his distinct voice inside my head.
These thoughts...
Well, these thoughts sounded like me. Just like me. As if they were my own.
Except, of course, they weren’t.
Deep breaths, Sam.
Breathe, breathe.
Good.
Very good.
I turned in a full circle, hands on hips, breathing and calming down and saying anything I could think of to not lose it right here in the woods above Hollywood.
As I did so, as I calmed my mind, as I did my best to get something out of my head that might never leave my head—Lord help me—I found myself particularly tuned into the chaotic energy around me.
Most curious, I was tuned in holistically, from seemingly everywhere at
I saw nothing human, although I saw plenty of glowing life forms, ranging from mice to a young deer. That I suddenly imagined myself pursuing the deer and feasting upon it might have had more to do with my recent viewing of the Twilight movies, than any bloodlust.
Still, I idly wondered what the deer’s blood would taste like. Probably warm and delicious. I rarely, if ever, feasted on a living animal, and wasn’t about to start tonight—Oh yes, I’d almost forgotten that time I had gone to a castle in Switzerland on a business trip and was accommodated, but I hadn’t killed for my supper...someone had done it for me.
Try it, came a sudden thought. A very distant, faint, small thought at the far reaches of awareness. It sounded like my own thoughts, admittedly. Like something that had originated within me, but I knew, somehow, that it wasn’t mine. It was too firm. Too controlling. Too evil.
It was her.
The entity that lived within me. I was sure of it, and it was, I was certain, the first time she had ever directly communicated with me.
I snapped back into my body, as a cold shiver came over me. The image of the grazing deer disappeared in a literal blink. I rubbed my arms and then my temples and wished like hell I hadn’t just heard those two words. I wished like hell she would stay far away, or stay buried. I did not want to have to listen to her, too.
Indeed, hearing her now, her words rising up from the depths of my subconscious, hit too close to home.
Now she was pissing me off.
More importantly, though, hearing a second set of thoughts in my head, thoughts that sounded far too similar to my own, felt a bit like I was going insane.
As I stood there in the woods, feeling the scattered energy of a heinous murder around me, seeing animals I shouldn’t see, hearing sounds I shouldn’t hear, and hungering for something no sane person should ever hunger for, I knew I was fighting a demon of another kind.
My own personal demon.
No, I wasn’t talking about her, the entity buried within me.
Ever since I first woke up in the hospital bed seven years ago, back when I first felt the changes coming over me, back when I first knew that I would never be normal again, I also wondered something else.
I wondered if I had gone insane.
At what point I had gone insane, I didn’t know. Maybe I’d had enough of my kids fighting. Maybe I’d had enough of Anthony’s skid marks. Or of Danny’s cheating. Or of life itself. Maybe I had checked out long ago, mentally, that is. Maybe my mind was long, long gone.
And hearing a second voice in my head seemed to confirm that. Seemed to confirm my worst fears.
I didn’t want to go insane. I didn’t want to lose my mind.
I took a few deep, shuddering, worthless breaths...breaths that served no purpose other than to calm me down. Except the first few didn’t do anything for me, but the next batch did. Finally, finally, I felt myself calming down. I reminded myself that I’d been hearing voices in my head for over a year now, ever since I’d first heard Fang’s whispered thoughts.
This was no different, right?
But it was different. It was very different. Fang’s thoughts sounded like Fang. I heard his inflections, his tone, his distinct voice inside my head.
These thoughts...
Well, these thoughts sounded like me. Just like me. As if they were my own.
Except, of course, they weren’t.
Deep breaths, Sam.
Breathe, breathe.
Good.
Very good.
I turned in a full circle, hands on hips, breathing and calming down and saying anything I could think of to not lose it right here in the woods above Hollywood.
As I did so, as I calmed my mind, as I did my best to get something out of my head that might never leave my head—Lord help me—I found myself particularly tuned into the chaotic energy around me.
Most curious, I was tuned in holistically, from seemingly everywhere at
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