her skin, the way
he seemed to force her body to respond in ways she hadn’t even
known were possible.
But she stopped herself.
I better not go see him
alone. I can’t trust myself with him alone. I know that. Every time
we’ve ever been alone together, I’ve let him touch me, and I can’t
do that.
No, someone else had to be there with
her.
She might be angry at Avery,
but he was her husband, and she wasn’t going to allow herself to be
unfaithful to him. And when it came to Cole, well, she was never in
control of herself. Cole could convince her to do anything on
earth—even kill for him. He’d done it before. He’d set it up so
that she’d have to kill another wolf, and…
And it had been glorious.
Like the way it felt to take the rabbits in the woods. She
remembered the smell of the blood, the tremor of a pulse beneath
the skin. Ripping and tearing her jaws—
Better not to think about
that. Better not to think about it at all.
No, she was only going to
see Cole to help the SF. It had nothing to do with the fact that
she hated her life, that she spent all day wondering why she
mattered, if she
mattered, and how she was going to keep going. Nothing to do with
the fact that Cole had always made her feel so god damned
important.
She went to Ursula’s
apartment and banged on the door.
No one answered.
Ursula must still be in the office.
Sometimes, she worked late, after all.
Dana went upstairs. As she
stepped into the tracker’s office, she felt like she’d traveled
back in time. She used to work here. She used to mean something to
the people around her. She used to have a job that she was actually
good at.
She was a much better tracker than
mother, and Dana knew that in her bones as she stepped into the
office. She wished there was some way she could come back to work
here.
Maybe…
Maybe, since she’d stood up
to Avery, it was time to try working again. She could suggest
getting a babysitter for Piper, maybe even hiring someone to come
in and do a little cleaning. With both their salaries, they could
maybe afford…
“ Gray?” Ursula was standing
in the doorway to her office. “What are you doing here?”
Dana took a shaking breath.
“I want to help. I’ll talk to Cole.”
* * *
King called downstairs and asked if the
workers could move Cole into an interrogation room.
Dana watched, shifting
nervously from one foot to the other. She felt antsy. The fear and
excitement were making her insides feel like jello. She couldn’t
stand still.
Is this a good idea? she asked herself.
No ,
she responded. But we’re doing it
anyway.
We? Was it a bad sign that
she was talking to herself and referring to herself in the plural
sense?
She made fists and dug her fingernails
into her palms.
“ It might take them a few
minutes to get him moved,” said Ursula, “but we can start heading
down if you want.”
“ O-okay.” Dana nodded. And
then she just kept nodding, like she couldn’t stop moving her
head.
Ursula took her by the arm.
“If you’re really not good with this, we don’t have to go through
with it. You seem—”
“ Fine.” Dana tried to smile.
“I’m fine. I-I want to do this.”
“ Okay,” said
Ursula.
Together, they left the tracker office,
went to the elevator, and got inside. Ursula hit the button for the
bottom floor and inserted her access card when prompted.
The elevator lurched to
life.
It made Dana’s stomach knot
up.
She hadn’t seen Cole in two
years. And he hadn’t seen her. The last time she’d spoken to him,
he’d been bitter and accusatory. He thought that she’d conspired to
have him killed. She’d tried to explain that she hadn’t known about
Earl Lowell’s plans. In fact, no one had. Earl had been operating
on his own, without the consent of the SF board. But she wasn’t
sure that Cole believed her. What if he was still angry? What if he
wanted to meet her only to punish her in some way?
No, that didn’t seem right.
He’d put himself in
he seemed to force her body to respond in ways she hadn’t even
known were possible.
But she stopped herself.
I better not go see him
alone. I can’t trust myself with him alone. I know that. Every time
we’ve ever been alone together, I’ve let him touch me, and I can’t
do that.
No, someone else had to be there with
her.
She might be angry at Avery,
but he was her husband, and she wasn’t going to allow herself to be
unfaithful to him. And when it came to Cole, well, she was never in
control of herself. Cole could convince her to do anything on
earth—even kill for him. He’d done it before. He’d set it up so
that she’d have to kill another wolf, and…
And it had been glorious.
Like the way it felt to take the rabbits in the woods. She
remembered the smell of the blood, the tremor of a pulse beneath
the skin. Ripping and tearing her jaws—
Better not to think about
that. Better not to think about it at all.
No, she was only going to
see Cole to help the SF. It had nothing to do with the fact that
she hated her life, that she spent all day wondering why she
mattered, if she
mattered, and how she was going to keep going. Nothing to do with
the fact that Cole had always made her feel so god damned
important.
She went to Ursula’s
apartment and banged on the door.
No one answered.
Ursula must still be in the office.
Sometimes, she worked late, after all.
Dana went upstairs. As she
stepped into the tracker’s office, she felt like she’d traveled
back in time. She used to work here. She used to mean something to
the people around her. She used to have a job that she was actually
good at.
She was a much better tracker than
mother, and Dana knew that in her bones as she stepped into the
office. She wished there was some way she could come back to work
here.
Maybe…
Maybe, since she’d stood up
to Avery, it was time to try working again. She could suggest
getting a babysitter for Piper, maybe even hiring someone to come
in and do a little cleaning. With both their salaries, they could
maybe afford…
“ Gray?” Ursula was standing
in the doorway to her office. “What are you doing here?”
Dana took a shaking breath.
“I want to help. I’ll talk to Cole.”
* * *
King called downstairs and asked if the
workers could move Cole into an interrogation room.
Dana watched, shifting
nervously from one foot to the other. She felt antsy. The fear and
excitement were making her insides feel like jello. She couldn’t
stand still.
Is this a good idea? she asked herself.
No ,
she responded. But we’re doing it
anyway.
We? Was it a bad sign that
she was talking to herself and referring to herself in the plural
sense?
She made fists and dug her fingernails
into her palms.
“ It might take them a few
minutes to get him moved,” said Ursula, “but we can start heading
down if you want.”
“ O-okay.” Dana nodded. And
then she just kept nodding, like she couldn’t stop moving her
head.
Ursula took her by the arm.
“If you’re really not good with this, we don’t have to go through
with it. You seem—”
“ Fine.” Dana tried to smile.
“I’m fine. I-I want to do this.”
“ Okay,” said
Ursula.
Together, they left the tracker office,
went to the elevator, and got inside. Ursula hit the button for the
bottom floor and inserted her access card when prompted.
The elevator lurched to
life.
It made Dana’s stomach knot
up.
She hadn’t seen Cole in two
years. And he hadn’t seen her. The last time she’d spoken to him,
he’d been bitter and accusatory. He thought that she’d conspired to
have him killed. She’d tried to explain that she hadn’t known about
Earl Lowell’s plans. In fact, no one had. Earl had been operating
on his own, without the consent of the SF board. But she wasn’t
sure that Cole believed her. What if he was still angry? What if he
wanted to meet her only to punish her in some way?
No, that didn’t seem right.
He’d put himself in
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