Read Online Monday the Rabbi Took Off by Harry Kemelman - Free Book Online Page B

their hotel room and getting ready for bed. Betty Deutch asked. “Did you get the feeling, dear, that the Smalls might be having some trouble with their congregation or at least with some of the board members?”
    Hugo Deutch neatly placed his jacket on a hanger. “I’ve been getting hints to that effect from the president and that close friend of his – what’s his name? Drexler – ever since we’ve met. It’s too bad. There’s a technique to handling a congregation, and Rabbi Small hasn’t learned it yet, I’m afraid. I’m not sure that he ever will.” He unlaced his shoes and put on his house slippers. “He’s a scholar, you know. He published a paper on Maimonides a few years back – I never read it, but I heard some complimentary remarks about it. Well, that kind frequently are not very good at leading a congregation. They’re in the wrong business, and sometimes they realize it early enough and switch to their proper work – teaching, research – and sometimes they hang on. draining their energy doing something they cannot do well and probably don’t even enjoy.”
    His wife smiled. “Perhaps he’ll realize it after he’s been in Israel away from it all for a few months.”

Chapter TEN
    As Rov Stedman scrubbed his face dry with a towel, his friend Abdul walked around examining the large wall posters that were the principal decorations of the small room: the pig in a policeman’s uniform standing on his hind trotters; the nun raising her skirt to her thigh to reach her purse concealed in her stocking; the nude couple facing each other, holding each other’s sex organs, like two people gravely shaking hands on being introduced.
    Over his shoulder. Abdul said. “The girls, when they see this, they do not object, they do not get angry?”
    “No one’s ever objected.” said Roy with a leer. He didn’t mention that so far he had not succeeded in persuading any girls to visit his room. “Maybe it gives them the right ideas.”
    “That’s very clever. And if your papa, how do you say it, your daddy, comes to visit you, you will leave these in place?”
    “Sure, why not?” Roy tossed the towel on a hook and then began to comb his long hair.
    “He is rich, your daddy?”
    “Rich? I wouldn’t say he was rich. Comfortable. I guess, but I wouldn’t call him rich.”
    “If he stays at the King David, he must be rich.” said Abdul positively.
    “Oh, yeah? Is it that expensive? Couple of times I was there, it didn’t look so great.”
    “Believe me.” said Abdul, “it is expensive. For one night,
    or for a week, maybe not; but to live there on a permanent
    basis… “
    “Well, he might get reduced rates being a TV personality. Or maybe he won’t be staying there long. In his letter he said he’d be touring the country, that he’d rent or buy a car and move around – you know, a few days here, a few days there. This book he’s writing will take him all over.”
    “And you will go with him on some of these trips?”
    “If he’s going somewhere I want to go.”
    “And the car, you will perhaps get to use it sometime on your own?”
    Roy smiled. “Look, if my old man gets a car. I bet I’ll use it more than he does.”
    “Then you won’t have any time for Abdul. All the girls, how do you call them – chicks? – you’ll have any you want.”
    “Nan.” But Roy was obviously pleased at the idea. “The broads around here, they’re like icicles.”
    “Icicles?”
    “Yeah, you know, like cold.”
    “Ah. I see.” Abdul nodded in wise understanding. Then he smiled. “Maybe I have you meet some different kind girls. Not cold. Hot ones.”
    “You mean the Arab girls around here? They’re even worse than the Jewish ones. They’re like on a rope and their old man’s got a good grip on the other end.”
    “Ah, but there are other kinds – those who know how to act with a man. They know what a man wants. They make your blood boil.” He patted his young friend on the shoulder. “You