“That’s the choice you got; revenge or forgiveness. I regret my choice; but that was just who I was then. You just gotta make sure you don’t regret yours.”
Eric spent the night at the jail and was given a breakfast of cold ham and stale toast in the morning. The other inmates inhaled the food without much reservation; most of them didn’t look at what they were eating. Charles was pickier; he scraped off a layer of the ham with his fork before putting it on the toast and eating.
“You’ll be outta here today,” Charles said.
“How long do you have to be here?”
“Not much longer. Caught me sleepin’ in the Grocery Mart downtown. They’ll give me a ticket and maybe keep me here a little longer.” He finished off his toast and had a sip of some cold coffee that had been brought in. “Thinkin’ bout leavin’ the East Coast though. Winters are rough.”
“Where you gonna go?”
“California. Maybe Hawaii if I can find a ride.”
The locations seemed exciting to Eric at first, until he realized Charles would be doing the exact same thing there, probably ending up in jails just like this one. He thought it incredibly sad that no matter where he went it didn’t make a difference.
Eric was released before noon and said good bye to Charles, promising to stop and say hello if he sees him again. Eric’s mother was waiting outside in her Sedan to drive him home and she didn’t say anything as he climbed in.
They drove in silence before Eric looked over to her; she was wearing a scarf and dark sunglasses. The sun was out but it wasn’t that bright yet and it certainly wasn’t cold.
“Why’re you wearing a scarf?”
“Thought it might be cold,” she said softly.
Eric looked closely and could see the red marks and dark purple bruises poking out from underneath the scarf. He reached over and pulled it off her. She said “No” but didn’t make any movements to stop him.
There were finger marks embedded on her neck, a rainbow of colors going across her throat and just under her jaw line. Eric took off her sunglasses, revealing an eye that was swollen shut, pus glistening around it.
Eric punched at the dashboard and his mother jumped.
“I’ll fucking kill him!”
“No, Eric don’t do anything,” his mother said pleadingly. “It was my fault. I deserved it.”
“Mom—”
“No please Eric, he’ll kill us both. Please, you don’t know him like I do; he’ll kill us both,” she said as she started to sob. She pulled the car over and began to cry into her hands. “He’ll kill us both.”
Eric was filled with pity and rage, the contrasting emotions making his head pound. He wrapped his arm around his mother as she cried and brought her head to his chest, the warm tears soaking through his shirt.
“He’ll kill us both,” she cried.
“I know, Mom. I won’t do anything.” He pulled her head away and looked into her eyes. “I won’t do anything, okay? Now come on, I gotta get back to the dorms, I got a big mid-term tomorrow.”
His mother wiped the tears on her sleeve and pulled her bangs behind her ears. She took a deep breath to calm herself and sat still, watching the cars pass. She put her sunglasses back on and started driving. “It was my fault,” she said. “I told him to leave after he hit you. I said I didn’t want to be with him anymore.”
“It’s all right. I can’t worry about this now so you’ll have to tell me about it later, okay?”
“Okay. It’s just when he drinks . . .”
“I know, we’ll talk about it later.”
“I’ll be at St. Anthony’s hospital.”
“Why?”
“I wasn’t supposed to leave but there was no one else to come get you. I just had some bleeding and they wanted to keep me under observation.”
“Oh.”
They rode the rest of the way in silence, Eric saying good bye as he was dropped off and promising to call her tonight. He watched her drive away and felt sorry for her. For a life that fell apart after his father left. But he
Eric spent the night at the jail and was given a breakfast of cold ham and stale toast in the morning. The other inmates inhaled the food without much reservation; most of them didn’t look at what they were eating. Charles was pickier; he scraped off a layer of the ham with his fork before putting it on the toast and eating.
“You’ll be outta here today,” Charles said.
“How long do you have to be here?”
“Not much longer. Caught me sleepin’ in the Grocery Mart downtown. They’ll give me a ticket and maybe keep me here a little longer.” He finished off his toast and had a sip of some cold coffee that had been brought in. “Thinkin’ bout leavin’ the East Coast though. Winters are rough.”
“Where you gonna go?”
“California. Maybe Hawaii if I can find a ride.”
The locations seemed exciting to Eric at first, until he realized Charles would be doing the exact same thing there, probably ending up in jails just like this one. He thought it incredibly sad that no matter where he went it didn’t make a difference.
Eric was released before noon and said good bye to Charles, promising to stop and say hello if he sees him again. Eric’s mother was waiting outside in her Sedan to drive him home and she didn’t say anything as he climbed in.
They drove in silence before Eric looked over to her; she was wearing a scarf and dark sunglasses. The sun was out but it wasn’t that bright yet and it certainly wasn’t cold.
“Why’re you wearing a scarf?”
“Thought it might be cold,” she said softly.
Eric looked closely and could see the red marks and dark purple bruises poking out from underneath the scarf. He reached over and pulled it off her. She said “No” but didn’t make any movements to stop him.
There were finger marks embedded on her neck, a rainbow of colors going across her throat and just under her jaw line. Eric took off her sunglasses, revealing an eye that was swollen shut, pus glistening around it.
Eric punched at the dashboard and his mother jumped.
“I’ll fucking kill him!”
“No, Eric don’t do anything,” his mother said pleadingly. “It was my fault. I deserved it.”
“Mom—”
“No please Eric, he’ll kill us both. Please, you don’t know him like I do; he’ll kill us both,” she said as she started to sob. She pulled the car over and began to cry into her hands. “He’ll kill us both.”
Eric was filled with pity and rage, the contrasting emotions making his head pound. He wrapped his arm around his mother as she cried and brought her head to his chest, the warm tears soaking through his shirt.
“He’ll kill us both,” she cried.
“I know, Mom. I won’t do anything.” He pulled her head away and looked into her eyes. “I won’t do anything, okay? Now come on, I gotta get back to the dorms, I got a big mid-term tomorrow.”
His mother wiped the tears on her sleeve and pulled her bangs behind her ears. She took a deep breath to calm herself and sat still, watching the cars pass. She put her sunglasses back on and started driving. “It was my fault,” she said. “I told him to leave after he hit you. I said I didn’t want to be with him anymore.”
“It’s all right. I can’t worry about this now so you’ll have to tell me about it later, okay?”
“Okay. It’s just when he drinks . . .”
“I know, we’ll talk about it later.”
“I’ll be at St. Anthony’s hospital.”
“Why?”
“I wasn’t supposed to leave but there was no one else to come get you. I just had some bleeding and they wanted to keep me under observation.”
“Oh.”
They rode the rest of the way in silence, Eric saying good bye as he was dropped off and promising to call her tonight. He watched her drive away and felt sorry for her. For a life that fell apart after his father left. But he
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