Read Online Mockingbird Wish Me Luck by Charles Bukowski - Free Book Online Page B

continue to love.
    have you ever kissed a panther?
    have you ever seen a female panther enjoying
    the act of love?
    you haven’t loved, friend.
    you with your squirrels and chipmunks
    and elephants and sheep.
    you ought to sleep with a panther
    you’ll never again want
    squirrels, chipmunks, elephants, sheep, fox,
    wolverines,
    never anything but the female panther
    the female panther walking across the room
    the female panther walking across your soul,
    all other love songs are lies
    when that black smooth fur moves against you
    and the sky falls down against your back,
    the female panther is the dream arrived real
    and there’s no going back
    or wanting to—
    the fur up against you,
    the search over
    and you are locked against the eyes of a panther.
     

2 carnations
     
     
    my love brought me 2 carnations
    my love brought me red
    my love brought me her
    my love told me not to worry
    my love told me not to die
     
 
    my love is 2 carnations on a table
    while listening to Schoenberg
    on an evening darkening into night
     
 
    my love is young
    the carnations burn in the dark;
    she is gone leaving the taste of almonds
    her body tastes like almonds
     
 
    2 carnations burning red
    as she sits far away
    now dreaming of china dogs
    tinkling through her fingers
     
 
    my love is ten thousand carnations burning
    my love is a hummingbird sitting that quiet moment
    on the bough
    as the cat
    crouches.
     

man and woman in bed at 10 p.m.
     
     
    I feel like a can of sardines, she said.
    I feel like a band-aid, I said,
    I feel like a tuna fish sandwich, she said.
    I feel like a sliced tomato, I said.
    I feel like it’s gonna rain, she said.
    I feel like the clock has stopped, I said.
    I feel like the door’s unlocked, she said.
    I feel like an elephant’s gonna walk in, I said.
    I feel like we ought to pay the rent, she said.
    I feel like we oughta get a job, I said.
    I feel like you oughta get a job, she said.
     
 
    I don’t feel like working, I said.
     
 
    I feel like you don’t care for me, she said.
    I feel like we oughta make love, I said.
    I feel like we’ve been making too much love, she said.
    I feel like we oughta make more love, I said.
    I feel like you oughta get a job, she said.
    I feel like you oughta get a job, I said.
    I feel like a drink, she said.
    I feel like a 5th of whiskey, I said.
    I feel like we’re going to end up on wine, she said.
    I feel like you’re right, I said.
    I feel like giving up, she said.
    I feel like I need a bath, I said.
    I feel like you need a bath too, she said.
    I feel like you ought to bathe my back, I said.
    I feel like you don’t love me, she said.
    I feel like I do love you, I said.
    I feel that thing in me now, she said.
    I feel that thing in you now too, I said.
    I feel like I love you now, she said.
    I feel like I love you more than you do me, I said.
    I feel wonderful, she said, I feel like screaming.
    I feel like going on forever, I said.
    I feel like you can, she said.
    I feel, I said.
    I feel, she said.
     

the answer
     
     
    she runs into the front room from outside
    laughing,
     
 
    well, you always wanted a CRAZY woman,
didn’t you?
hahahaha, ha.
you’ve always been fascinated with CRAZY women,
haven’t you?
hahahaha, ha.
     
 
    sit down, I say, I have the coffee water
on.
     
 
    we sit by the kitchen window on a Los Angeles
    Sunday,
    and I say,
     
 
    see that man walking by?
     
 
    yes, she says.
     
 
    know what he’s thinking?
I ask.
     
 
    what’s he thinking?
she asks.
     
 
    he’s thinking, I say, he’s thinking
that he wants a loaf of bread for
breakfast.
     
 
    a loaf of bread for breakfast?
     
 
    yes, can you imagine some crazy son of a bitch
wanting a loaf of bread for
breakfast?
     
 
    I can’t imagine it.
     
 
    I get up and pour the coffees. then
    we look at each
     
 
    other. something has gone wrong the
    night before and we want to find out
    if it was her upset stomach
    or my diarrhea
    or something worse.
     
 
    we