Read Online Missing with Bonus Material: The Secrets of Crittenden County, Book One by Shelley Shepard Gray - Free Book Online
Authors: Shelley Shepard Gray
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made her stomach clench in knots.
She had to do something soon. Thinking of her father, and the way he talked about wanting to be different than the way his parents wanted him to be, she asked, “Mommi, did it bother you when Dad didn’t want to be Amish?”
“Yes.”
“Were you mad at him?”
Slowly, she shook her head. “ Nee. I wasn’t mad, I don’t think. I felt more sad than anything, to be sure. I knew if Tim wasn’t Amish that we wouldn’t see as much of each other.”
“Did Grandpa James feel the same way?”
“He did, to be sure.” With a soft smile, she added, “It’s hard to let your children grow up. But that’s why we have the Lord, I think. We need to trust in Him to help us make decisions, and for Him to help our children, too. When your father told us he was going to be English, we prayed and prayed. Then your father admitted that he’d been praying about it, too.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“Perhaps he would tell you about it now, if you asked?”
Abby shrugged, not sure how to approach her father with those kinds of questions.
Her grandmother smiled softly. “After a bit, your grandfather and I decided we couldn’t change his heart. And if he had been praying, and if he truly felt like the Lord understood his reasons, well, that had to be enough for us.”
Her grandmother’s words were so simple and heartfelt, and made so much sense, too. “You really do want me to take time and pray about what I want, don’t you?”
“For me, prayer is the only way to make decisions. The Lord is just waiting to guide us—but if He is missing in your life, it makes all those big decisions harder.” Clasping her hands in front of her, she smiled. “Of course, everything with your father happened a long time ago. Care to tell me why you are thinking about it now?”
“I guess I was just wishing I was closer to you and Grandpa James,” she hedged.
“Abby, you are my kinskind, my grandchild. No matter if I’m Amish and you are not, my world is yours, too, jah ? We can be as close to each other as we want to be.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“Ach! I know it.”
Abby laughed. Her grandmother made it sound so easy, but it wasn’t. Finding a place to be comfortable and happy was hard. Harder than she’d ever imagined.
“Now tell me where you want to be more popular.”
“At school,” she blurted. “I don’t fit in.”
“Fitting in isn’t everything, child. In God’s eyes we are all perfect. Besides, one day, before you know it, you’ll wonder how you ever thought you didn’t fit in.”
Abby doubted that. “Mommi, in my high school, I stick out like a sore thumb. And now everyone talks about Perry Borntrager, and how I’m the one who found him.”
“Finding a body like that would shake anyone up.”
“I was with some girls and we were smoking.” She looked at Grandma Francis. “Did you hear about that from Mom and Dad?”
“I did.”
Abby waited to hear the lecture about smoking, but none came. Instead, her grandmother just continued to sit on the bed and waited with a kind, patient expression.
Which was all the encouragement she needed. She took a breath and blurted the rest of her story as quickly as possible. “Now those girls don’t want to talk to me, and the other kids think I’m weird because I found a body but don’t want to talk about it.” She took a breath. “And Mom and Dad keep asking me why I was smoking with them in the first place.”
“And you said?”
“I said, I don’t know.” She paused. “That’s not really much of an answer. Is it?”
“I think it sounds like a fine answer. Everyone sometimes does things for no special reason.”
“You think?”
“I know. We’re all human, jah ? Now, I suppose we’d best get back down with the men before they come up here wondering what we are doing with ourselves.”
As her grandmother stood up with a sigh, she added, “Don’t forget about how God works with us, Abby. He
She had to do something soon. Thinking of her father, and the way he talked about wanting to be different than the way his parents wanted him to be, she asked, “Mommi, did it bother you when Dad didn’t want to be Amish?”
“Yes.”
“Were you mad at him?”
Slowly, she shook her head. “ Nee. I wasn’t mad, I don’t think. I felt more sad than anything, to be sure. I knew if Tim wasn’t Amish that we wouldn’t see as much of each other.”
“Did Grandpa James feel the same way?”
“He did, to be sure.” With a soft smile, she added, “It’s hard to let your children grow up. But that’s why we have the Lord, I think. We need to trust in Him to help us make decisions, and for Him to help our children, too. When your father told us he was going to be English, we prayed and prayed. Then your father admitted that he’d been praying about it, too.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“Perhaps he would tell you about it now, if you asked?”
Abby shrugged, not sure how to approach her father with those kinds of questions.
Her grandmother smiled softly. “After a bit, your grandfather and I decided we couldn’t change his heart. And if he had been praying, and if he truly felt like the Lord understood his reasons, well, that had to be enough for us.”
Her grandmother’s words were so simple and heartfelt, and made so much sense, too. “You really do want me to take time and pray about what I want, don’t you?”
“For me, prayer is the only way to make decisions. The Lord is just waiting to guide us—but if He is missing in your life, it makes all those big decisions harder.” Clasping her hands in front of her, she smiled. “Of course, everything with your father happened a long time ago. Care to tell me why you are thinking about it now?”
“I guess I was just wishing I was closer to you and Grandpa James,” she hedged.
“Abby, you are my kinskind, my grandchild. No matter if I’m Amish and you are not, my world is yours, too, jah ? We can be as close to each other as we want to be.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“Ach! I know it.”
Abby laughed. Her grandmother made it sound so easy, but it wasn’t. Finding a place to be comfortable and happy was hard. Harder than she’d ever imagined.
“Now tell me where you want to be more popular.”
“At school,” she blurted. “I don’t fit in.”
“Fitting in isn’t everything, child. In God’s eyes we are all perfect. Besides, one day, before you know it, you’ll wonder how you ever thought you didn’t fit in.”
Abby doubted that. “Mommi, in my high school, I stick out like a sore thumb. And now everyone talks about Perry Borntrager, and how I’m the one who found him.”
“Finding a body like that would shake anyone up.”
“I was with some girls and we were smoking.” She looked at Grandma Francis. “Did you hear about that from Mom and Dad?”
“I did.”
Abby waited to hear the lecture about smoking, but none came. Instead, her grandmother just continued to sit on the bed and waited with a kind, patient expression.
Which was all the encouragement she needed. She took a breath and blurted the rest of her story as quickly as possible. “Now those girls don’t want to talk to me, and the other kids think I’m weird because I found a body but don’t want to talk about it.” She took a breath. “And Mom and Dad keep asking me why I was smoking with them in the first place.”
“And you said?”
“I said, I don’t know.” She paused. “That’s not really much of an answer. Is it?”
“I think it sounds like a fine answer. Everyone sometimes does things for no special reason.”
“You think?”
“I know. We’re all human, jah ? Now, I suppose we’d best get back down with the men before they come up here wondering what we are doing with ourselves.”
As her grandmother stood up with a sigh, she added, “Don’t forget about how God works with us, Abby. He
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