Read Online Missing Pieces of My Forever-Heart by Janet Grosshandler - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Janet Grosshandler
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waited in silence.
“Still have that nervous habit, huh Cath? You always were tracing something.” He grinned a little.
My traitorous heart gave a little blip. Was it because he remembered the trivial thing that I used to do or was it because that grin always made me smile. Ugh, stop doing that, heart!
“Anyway, a buddy of mine was starting up a new management consulting business in DC and I moved there to work with his group. Let me tell you, DC is for the sharks and I hated it there. I moved back to New York and took a job there. I got married again and we tried to have kids but she had a heart condition and couldn’t carry to term. She wanted kids so bad. Darlene had a heart attack at 39-years-old and changed into a person who didn’t see any joy in life. She wanted to move back to Pennsylvania to be near her parents. She hated the city and I couldn’t make her happy about anything anymore. She left and we got divorced. After that, I started to really feel the emptiness that’s been in my life since I left for Texas.”
“What am I supposed to do about your emptiness, Jame? I’m sorry you had a semi-hard life. I’ve had a tough one too. That’s life. We pick ourselves up and carry on.”
“I know. I know, Cath. But you have two kids in your life. I have none. I never thought I’d ever want any because of what happened to us but now I’m regretting everything so much more.”
Here was my chance to get a little closure. “What exactly do you regret, Jame?”
“So much, Cath, so much with you. What I did, caving in to my father, getting on that plane to Texas and leaving you pregnant. I regret that every day of my life.”
Oh, it felt so good to finally hear that. But he could have tried to contact me.
“So why did I never hear from you again? Not when I was away, not after I had the baby, not ever.”
“I sent you letters, Cath. I mailed them to your parents’ house because that’s the only address I knew.”
“You sent me letters? I never got them.” All I could figure is that my parents were trying to protect me at the time. My Mom was gone now. My Dad had remarried and started a new life in Arizona. I would never know what happened.
“And I called Maddie lots of times. She just hung up on me. But she did tell me it was a boy.”
“Maddie didn’t know where I went. No one did. My parents wanted to keep it a secret.”
“Where did you go? I wondered about that like crazy.”
“I’m not getting into the whole story. So why do you need to see me? What information do you think I can give you?”
“I’d like to know where and when he was born, do you know his name, and what adoption agency you used.”
“Why? What would you do with that information if you had it?”
“I don’t know. But I have no other children. He’s my only one. Hopefully I’d be closer to finding him. He’s what, 26-years-old now? God, I don’t even know his birthday. Maybe he’s old enough to decide he wants to know us.”
“He was 26 on January 1 st . I had him in Tallahassee, Florida. I used the county adoption agency. His adoptive parents named him Michael.”
Then I saw something I had never seen before in my life. Jame Patterson had tears in his eyes that were spilling over.
“Oh God. Oh God, Cath. Just like that?”
“What do you mean- just like that?”
“You knew all this.”
“Yeah, Jame, I was there, remember?”
“How do you know that they named him Michael?”
The photos in the white box in my attic burned my conscience then.
“I just know.”
“OK, OK. This is great. This is wonderful. Thank you so much, Cath. Thank you.”
“And what are you going to do with this information, Jame?”
“I’m not sure. Have a lawyer look into it or a private investigator.”
“What?
“Still have that nervous habit, huh Cath? You always were tracing something.” He grinned a little.
My traitorous heart gave a little blip. Was it because he remembered the trivial thing that I used to do or was it because that grin always made me smile. Ugh, stop doing that, heart!
“Anyway, a buddy of mine was starting up a new management consulting business in DC and I moved there to work with his group. Let me tell you, DC is for the sharks and I hated it there. I moved back to New York and took a job there. I got married again and we tried to have kids but she had a heart condition and couldn’t carry to term. She wanted kids so bad. Darlene had a heart attack at 39-years-old and changed into a person who didn’t see any joy in life. She wanted to move back to Pennsylvania to be near her parents. She hated the city and I couldn’t make her happy about anything anymore. She left and we got divorced. After that, I started to really feel the emptiness that’s been in my life since I left for Texas.”
“What am I supposed to do about your emptiness, Jame? I’m sorry you had a semi-hard life. I’ve had a tough one too. That’s life. We pick ourselves up and carry on.”
“I know. I know, Cath. But you have two kids in your life. I have none. I never thought I’d ever want any because of what happened to us but now I’m regretting everything so much more.”
Here was my chance to get a little closure. “What exactly do you regret, Jame?”
“So much, Cath, so much with you. What I did, caving in to my father, getting on that plane to Texas and leaving you pregnant. I regret that every day of my life.”
Oh, it felt so good to finally hear that. But he could have tried to contact me.
“So why did I never hear from you again? Not when I was away, not after I had the baby, not ever.”
“I sent you letters, Cath. I mailed them to your parents’ house because that’s the only address I knew.”
“You sent me letters? I never got them.” All I could figure is that my parents were trying to protect me at the time. My Mom was gone now. My Dad had remarried and started a new life in Arizona. I would never know what happened.
“And I called Maddie lots of times. She just hung up on me. But she did tell me it was a boy.”
“Maddie didn’t know where I went. No one did. My parents wanted to keep it a secret.”
“Where did you go? I wondered about that like crazy.”
“I’m not getting into the whole story. So why do you need to see me? What information do you think I can give you?”
“I’d like to know where and when he was born, do you know his name, and what adoption agency you used.”
“Why? What would you do with that information if you had it?”
“I don’t know. But I have no other children. He’s my only one. Hopefully I’d be closer to finding him. He’s what, 26-years-old now? God, I don’t even know his birthday. Maybe he’s old enough to decide he wants to know us.”
“He was 26 on January 1 st . I had him in Tallahassee, Florida. I used the county adoption agency. His adoptive parents named him Michael.”
Then I saw something I had never seen before in my life. Jame Patterson had tears in his eyes that were spilling over.
“Oh God. Oh God, Cath. Just like that?”
“What do you mean- just like that?”
“You knew all this.”
“Yeah, Jame, I was there, remember?”
“How do you know that they named him Michael?”
The photos in the white box in my attic burned my conscience then.
“I just know.”
“OK, OK. This is great. This is wonderful. Thank you so much, Cath. Thank you.”
“And what are you going to do with this information, Jame?”
“I’m not sure. Have a lawyer look into it or a private investigator.”
“What?
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