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Authors: Janet Grosshandler
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stayed and completed my journalism degree at FSU, living with my wonderful cousins and pouring myself into my studies. I dated a few college guys but nothing serious. I was focused on my writing, my future career and had no time for any more broken hearts. I had had enough of that.
After my college graduation, I landed a pretty good job in New York City with a news magazine. I moved to a small studio in Soho and lived the journalist life with abandon.
Sam was one of my early human-interest interviews. He had started a non-profit to help raise funds for childhood cancer research. His inspiration was his younger sister who died at 14-years-old and he dedicated his life to making sure as many others as he could, would not suffer the same fate she did.
We started dating, fell in love, got married, had our two daughters, Erin and Kaitlin right away and built a wonderful, happy, secure life…until a drunk driver took that all away.
Chapter 25
It was Friday. I had to email Jame where and when I would give him five minutes of my time on Saturday. I debated all day. Even though I was now living close to where we had grown up, I didn’t want to go anywhere that would evoke any memories whatsoever.
Jame,
I can see you for a short time tomorrow. Meet me at the Lighthouse in Atlantic Highlands. I’ll be in the parking lot. My car is a gold, Sebring convertible with a black top. I’ll be there at noon.
Cath
Tossing and turning all night, I got up early again and drank a pot of strong coffee. I knew I would need my strength, but it was hard to force down even a piece of toast.
I debated what to wear and then mentally kicked myself for even caring. I didn’t put much make-up on because I was not out to impress Jame Patterson.
I got out of my car at the lighthouse parking lot and saw he was already there. He walked over to me.
“Hey Cath. Thank you so much for coming.”
I started walking along the trail. “We can sit at the rest area table a little ways up the trail. It’ll be more private there for what we have to talk about.”
We walked in silence. I remembered how long his strides were and how I would have to skip and jump to keep up with him. Oh, how I did NOT want to remember those things.
Reaching the table I sat down and motioned for him to sit across from me. We looked at each other over the worn out picnic table.
“You look good, Cath.” Jame smiled a tired smile.
“Yeah, the circles under your eyes are no match for mine.”
He gave a little laugh and then silence fell.
Jame took a deep breath and began. “I feel like I should say I’m sorry to you a thousand times for all the pain and heartache I caused you. And I don’t want to cause you any more now but…”
“But what? You selfishly want to find him, disrupt his life like you’ve done to mine, and everything will be peachy-keen?”
“No, not at all. I already registered on national birth parents websites. I just am afraid he’ll never look for me, for us.”
“You have some nerve! You registered and are hoping he’s looking for you? What arrogance! Except for donating some sperm, you gave him NOTHING and now you want something from him? Selfish as always, aren’t you, Jame?”
“No, Cath, that’s not it at all. Are you willing to hear me out or is this a waste of our time?”
I backed off from my anger a little. I had agreed to meet. I should listen.
“Go ahead.”
“Not sure what you know about my life after college…“
“I didn’t care, Jame. I still don’t.”
“Touché. I coached some in junior college and then put my business degree to some use by taking a job with the Celtics’ front office. Lived in Boston. Married the wrong woman and got divorced two years later. Not pretty.”
I followed a heart carved into the wooden table with my finger as I
After my college graduation, I landed a pretty good job in New York City with a news magazine. I moved to a small studio in Soho and lived the journalist life with abandon.
Sam was one of my early human-interest interviews. He had started a non-profit to help raise funds for childhood cancer research. His inspiration was his younger sister who died at 14-years-old and he dedicated his life to making sure as many others as he could, would not suffer the same fate she did.
We started dating, fell in love, got married, had our two daughters, Erin and Kaitlin right away and built a wonderful, happy, secure life…until a drunk driver took that all away.
Chapter 25
It was Friday. I had to email Jame where and when I would give him five minutes of my time on Saturday. I debated all day. Even though I was now living close to where we had grown up, I didn’t want to go anywhere that would evoke any memories whatsoever.
Jame,
I can see you for a short time tomorrow. Meet me at the Lighthouse in Atlantic Highlands. I’ll be in the parking lot. My car is a gold, Sebring convertible with a black top. I’ll be there at noon.
Cath
Tossing and turning all night, I got up early again and drank a pot of strong coffee. I knew I would need my strength, but it was hard to force down even a piece of toast.
I debated what to wear and then mentally kicked myself for even caring. I didn’t put much make-up on because I was not out to impress Jame Patterson.
I got out of my car at the lighthouse parking lot and saw he was already there. He walked over to me.
“Hey Cath. Thank you so much for coming.”
I started walking along the trail. “We can sit at the rest area table a little ways up the trail. It’ll be more private there for what we have to talk about.”
We walked in silence. I remembered how long his strides were and how I would have to skip and jump to keep up with him. Oh, how I did NOT want to remember those things.
Reaching the table I sat down and motioned for him to sit across from me. We looked at each other over the worn out picnic table.
“You look good, Cath.” Jame smiled a tired smile.
“Yeah, the circles under your eyes are no match for mine.”
He gave a little laugh and then silence fell.
Jame took a deep breath and began. “I feel like I should say I’m sorry to you a thousand times for all the pain and heartache I caused you. And I don’t want to cause you any more now but…”
“But what? You selfishly want to find him, disrupt his life like you’ve done to mine, and everything will be peachy-keen?”
“No, not at all. I already registered on national birth parents websites. I just am afraid he’ll never look for me, for us.”
“You have some nerve! You registered and are hoping he’s looking for you? What arrogance! Except for donating some sperm, you gave him NOTHING and now you want something from him? Selfish as always, aren’t you, Jame?”
“No, Cath, that’s not it at all. Are you willing to hear me out or is this a waste of our time?”
I backed off from my anger a little. I had agreed to meet. I should listen.
“Go ahead.”
“Not sure what you know about my life after college…“
“I didn’t care, Jame. I still don’t.”
“Touché. I coached some in junior college and then put my business degree to some use by taking a job with the Celtics’ front office. Lived in Boston. Married the wrong woman and got divorced two years later. Not pretty.”
I followed a heart carved into the wooden table with my finger as I
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