Read Online Misdirected by Ali Berman - Free Book Online

Colston starts to give thanks to the lord. All I can think about is how nice and soft Tess’s hand feels. She’s warm and she’s not just laying her hand over mine. She’s squeezing. I think my hand is beginning to sweat in hers and I know the thoughts now entering my head are probably not okay for the dinner table while grace is being said. I’m just glad I already put my napkin on my lap.
    When Mr. Colston finishes his prayer, I let go of Tess’s hand and feel my pulse start to go down.
    The food is passed around the table and we all begin to eat. As I chew I start to freak out about when the questions are going to start. I eat each bite really fast so if they ask me something, my mouth isn’t full of food. Instead, Angela is talking about her basketball team and how bad the freshmen are at free throws.
    Eventually the conversation turns to me, and I’m ready for it. The church question. But it doesn’t come. Instead, Mr. Colston asks me what my parents do and why we moved all the way from Massachusetts. They seem like pretty easygoing people. By the time we’re done eating, I almost feel relaxed.
    Tess clears our plates while Angela cleans some potatoes off her brother’s chin. Mrs. Colston comes back in with three small dishes of ice cream.
    She hands them to the kids and says, “Dan and Paul, I want you to go to the den to have your dessert. You can watch one television program and then you all need to finish your homework. Angela, you’re excused.”
    â€œAre you sure? I can stay,” she says, eyeing me.
    â€œGo on upstairs. Now.”
    â€œFine.”
    Mr. Colston just sits there, waiting for his wife to come back from the kitchen. I guess this is it. They didn’t want to grill me in front of the kids. Or in front of fat-mouthed Angela.
    Mrs. Colston puts a bowl of ice cream in front of each of us. Before she even sits down with her own dish, she says, “So Ben, I think you know why we asked you over here. We have some concerns. Would you like to speak on your behalf?”
    â€œI’m not sure what you want me to say?”
    â€œWell, we’re curious about your feelings on Christianity and if you’ve decided to become a member of the church.”
    Tess looks at me and smiles. I smile back, feeling a little sick. When I’m quiet for about five long seconds, Tess says, “I told you, Mom. Ben was at church this morning. He wants to be saved.”
    â€œI’d like to hear it from Ben if you don’t mind. Ben?”
    â€œYeah. Sorry. Tess is right. I did go to church this morning.”
    â€œAnd what did you think?”
    My tongue is stuck in my throat. Lies or truth? Lies or truth? Lies or truth?
    â€œWell, I um, I respect everyone’s beliefs. And, you know, I’m glad I live in a country that gives everyone the right to think what they want. But I don’t want to lie to you. That’s not the kind of person I am and I hope you respect me more for saying this. Christianity isn’t for me. I just, well, it’s not how I was raised. But Tess is the best friend I’ve got here and I hope that my beliefs don’t make you think I’m a bad person or anything.”
    Mr. and Mrs. Colston look at each other. Tess covers her face with her hands.
    â€œWhat about church didn’t you like?”
    â€œIt’s not that I didn’t like it. The music was good and the people were nice. I just don’t believe in god or in heaven or hell. That’s not to say I don’t respect people who do. Tess is religious and I respect that. I would never question what she believes. The same way I would never want her to make fun of my beliefs.”
    â€œSon, you don’t believe in anything. How are we supposed to trust a boy like that with our daughter?”
    I stare at him for a few seconds with my mouth open. I don’t believe in anything? What an ass. I was nice and he just totally says