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that like it’s nothing? I want to yell back or say something obnoxious, but I don’t. It’s about Tess. Not about me. So I keep my cool. Or I try to.
    I say kind of angrily, “I could have lied to you tonight. I could have said that Tess was trying to save me and that I wanted to be saved. I think it says more about me as a person that I told the truth.”
    â€œWell Ben, I hate to break it to you but someone here lied. Either you lied when you told my Tess that you wanted to be saved. Or Tess lied to us when she told us you wanted to be saved. So which is it? Are you lying to Tess or is my daughter lying to me?”
    Oh crap. Oh no. He’s looking at me and I have no idea what to say. He’s right. I either just outed myself or Tess. Dammit! It should be me. I should say I lied.
    I open my mouth to speak and then hear, “It was me.”
    I close my mouth and look over at Tess. I try to shake my head, get her to stop, but she just starts talking.
    She says, “I found a friend. Someone I like and care about and he’s here and knows nobody. The Christian thing to do is to be friends with him. I don’t care that he’s an atheist. That’s his choice. And just because he believes something different than me doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. The truth is, he’s nicer than most of the people we go to school with. And more honest about who he is.”
    Tess’s dad looks furious. He puts his big hands on the table and glares at her. “So this boy who you think is so nice and considerate has you lying to your parents for him? Is that the Christian thing to do?”
    â€œIt was my idea to lie. I’m not turning my back on God. I’m making a friend.”
    â€œTess,” I say. “Stop. Just stop. Look, what if we promise to be honest with you from now on? I can’t pretend to be someone I’m not but I can tell you the truth.”
    â€œHow can I expect to be told the truth from someone who can’t see the truth in front of his face.”
    â€œWhat truth?” I ask.
    â€œThat Jesus died for you. And you can’t even say thank you.”
    â€œBut sir . . .”
    â€œBut nothing. It’s too important to disagree on. I’m sorry, Tess. I cannot let you spend time with this young man. The risk is too high.”
    â€œThe risk of what?” I ask.
    â€œI think we’re done here. Ben, thank you for coming to dinner tonight and good luck at school.”
    â€œDad, please. Don’t do this.”
    â€œYou know how I feel.”
    â€œIt’s like Michael all over again. How can you just cut people out when they think differently than you!?”
    â€œDon’t you dare bring him up. That name is dead in this house, and if you don’t want to follow in his footsteps, you’ll shut your mouth right now.” He makes eye contact with me and says, “Ben, good night.”
    I look around the table. Mrs. Colston is staring at her plate. Tess’s eyes are red and she’s about ten seconds away from crying. Mr. Colston’s face is firm.
    I want to shout at him that he’s an intolerant hypocrite who hates people who are different from him. What kind of Christian does that make him? Tess is ten times the person he’ll ever be. He’s her father, so I say nothing. I stand up, put my hand on Tess’s shoulder and say, “I’m sorry.” As my hand leaves her shoulder, she starts to shake and by the time I’m at the door I hear her crying. I walk out and go across the street. Home.
    I walk in the door to my house and head upstairs. I don’t even stop to answer when my dad asks, “How did it go?” I slam the door as hard as I possibly can. Then I take one of the pillows on my bed and begin hammering into it with my fist. I punch until I can’t punch anymore. I lie down on the floor and look up at the ceiling. Blank. No star stickers. This is not my house.