Minus Me

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Authors: Ingelin Rossland
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16
    Linda is standing in the changing rooms. She holds in her tummy to zip up the dress she’s trying on. But she gives up, and pulls a face at herself in the mirror. What was she thinking? That she’d look good? For whom? Oscar? The curtain is pulled back and Maria is standing there, holding three more dresses. She looks at Linda and raises her eyebrows, signalling that she doesn’t approve of what she sees.
    ‘That is just so completely . . .’
    ‘. . . so completely wrong. I agree.’
    Linda takes the new dresses, and hands Maria the ones she’s already tried on.
    ‘Don’t forget, I want to see you in all those dresses,’ Maria says, before closing the curtain.
    Linda looks at the three dresses hanging in front of her. One is pink, which makes it a complete non-starter. The skimpy little green number is out too. She goes for the black one with a wide skirt, the kind that whirls around your legs when you spin round. She wriggles out of the dress she has on, and tries it on. Amazingly, it fits. She gives a little twirl. The curtain is pulled aside again.
    ‘Classic!’ says Maria, pulling Linda out of the cubicle so she can see herself in the big mirror.
    ‘Ooh, yes!’ exclaims the sales assistant as he walks towards Linda. ‘You look wonderful, darling. And I’ve got a petticoat that would look divine under it. Wait a sec.’
    Linda smiles at Maria, and gives another twirl.
    ‘You look so grown-up,’ says Maria.
    The assistant returns with a petticoat and practically shoves Linda back into the changing room with it.
    ‘You have simply got to have that,’ says the assistant when Linda emerges again. ‘Lots of people have tried that dress on, but nobody’s looked as stunning in it as you.’
    Linda twists around, trying to read the price tag on the back. Maria comes over and finds it.
    ‘It’s a bit expensive, isn’t it?’ she says. ‘And how much is the petticoat?’
    ‘It’s only 250 kroner. Which isn’t a lot when you consider how much use you’ll get out of it,’ says the assistant.
    ‘It comes to 750 kroner altogether,’ Maria whispers to Linda.
    ‘I’ll take it,’ says Linda.
    She gives a final twirl in front of the mirror before disappearing back into the cubicle to change again.
     
    Minutes later Maria and Linda are walking arm-in-arm through the shopping centre, Linda carrying the big shopping bag.
    ‘Are you going to regret this?’
    ‘A really gorgeous dress can never cost too much! Wasn’t that what the guy in the shop said?’ says Linda, laughing, even though she’s already regretting it slightly.
    ‘Yes, he did. Now, what else do we need to buy?’
    ‘Some decorations and stuff. We can go in here,’ Linda says, turning into a gift-and-party shop.
    ‘What kind of theme were you thinking of?’
    ‘Theme?’
    ‘Yes, for the party. Is there a theme . . . like, say, spring, or love, or princesses?’
    ‘Definitely not princesses! Lets take a look,’ says Linda, walking between the shelves of paper tablecloths and serviettes. If she’s honest, she doesn’t know what to choose. She wants it to be nice, but all these serviettes and things just seem so boring. Maria taps her on the shoulder, and she turns.
    ‘How about fancy dress?’ Maria asks, peering at her from behind a pair of plastic glasses attached to a big nose and moustache. She offers a clown nose to Linda, who puts it on.
    ‘And with false noses, everything’s suddenly alright?’ says Linda.
    ‘Hey, you two!’ A grumpy-looking teenager shouts at them from behind the counter. ‘This is a shop. If you want those things you’ll have to pay for them.’
    ‘Yeah, sure,’ says Linda.
    She grabs a packet of balloons and some streamers disinterestedly, and then heads towards the cash desk. ‘Can you choose some serviettes, Maria?’
    Linda dumps her purchases on the counter and the grumpy teenager starts tapping them into the till.
    ‘Do you want that nose too?’ he asks, pointing his finger

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