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feel they can’t do anything to change them. People with reactive mind-sets are likely to
        •   respond to what happens, often feeling like a victim;
        •   spend a lot of time worrying in ways that drain their energy but won’t improve the situation;
        •   blame and accuse other people for the problems and challenges in their lives;
        •   put off doing things for as long as possible and, in the end, work harder to achieve the same or a poorer result; and
        •   fail to take action that would likely improve their circumstances.
    People who focus on what they can do to make a situation better have a “proactive” mind-set. These people create a plan of action to tackle their problems and turn their attention to all the things they can do to positively influence the situation. People with a proactive mind-set are more likely to
        •   take action proactively, doing things that will help;
        •   feel in control of the situation and their lives;
        •   have more free time to do what they want; and
        •   be viewed as leaders or as strong.
    If Danny focuses his attention on what he can do, two things will start to happen. First, he will feel better about his real estate problem, because rather than feeling impotent about the situation he will feel he can make a difference. Second, he will deploy his energy toward thinking about and doing things that could help.
    A proactive mind-set is likely to also lead to a third benefit: As Danny starts to take action, new opportunities will emerge that he hadn’t even considered. Perhaps when he talks with the real estate agent, he discovers that he could help with Internet marketing, inexpensively improve the landscaping of the house, or clear out the spare room so that it appears larger and more desirable.
    Proactive thinkers always focus on what they can do to improve a situation. As a direct result, they achieve more and feel more in control. They are in charge.
The Science Behind Being in Charge
    The idea of having a “locus” of control was put forward by Julian Rotter in 1954. 1 He suggested that individuals with an external locus of control—people with a reactive mind-set—typically believe that rewards in life are determined by forces such as fate, luck, or other people. Individuals with an internal locus of control—people with a proactive mind-set—tend to believe events are triggered by their own behavior or capability. Further research has suggested there are numerous benefits to having an internal locus of control, or a proactive mind-set, including
        •   greater job performance and job satisfaction, 2
        •   decreased likelihood of depression or anxiety, 3
        •   healthier relationships,
        •   higher academic achievements,
        •   longer life expectancy, 4
        •   less stress, and
        •   less illness. 5
    Social scientists generally believe that people with parents who were controlling or authoritarian are more likely to develop an externalized locus of control or reactive mind-set. Similarly, individuals who have experienced stressful life events, like the death of a parent or sibling, particularly when they were young, also tend to develop a reactive mind-set.
    By contrast, those whose parents encouraged them to do things that produced direct and measurable results from their efforts, like learning to play a musical instrument, are more likely to have an internalized locus or proactive mind-set. Kindness also makes a difference: Children with an internal locus also seem to have parents who showed affection and love.
How to Spot a Proactive or Reactive Mind-Set
    One way to spot how proactive or reactive you are is to notice the way you think about a situation. Imagine that you are frustrated because your boss keeps changing her mind and makes unreasonable demands of you. Here are some different ways to