city, shouting vulgar phrases and throwing rocks against peace keepers’ vehicles. One of them had yelled at me so I started running, clutching my bag to my chest. Inside my bag were documents declaring me a Pax, so I knew if they stopped me they’d see inside my papers. I sent a panic message to the nearest peace keeper through my tracker and within minutes one arrived, taking me home safely in his pod.
I stopped going out at night after that. Stoclo was too dangerous. Rinfero was becoming more and more divided. The Trux seemed so strong compared to us. It was easy for them to get their way and for us to be okay with it.
I hugged my shoulders and closed my eyes, picturing that chandelier. Maybe we were heading for that - destruction. We fell so easily, like a chandelier crashing to the ground. It made no difference if we were the most powerful rector. We were a fallen state now.
Part two of emotional/mental training was the simulation room. Trent took me there after my run the next morning. Vince had given me a hug when I departed with Trent.
“Don’t let it scare you,” he whispered in my ear as he hugged me. No one hugged me like that except Sam. It surprised me how much comfort I felt through that hug. I didn’t realize how open my heart was to the idea of love, of how much the Pax as a whole desperately longed for human touch, but instead we got mankind’s creation: metal. The kind that could stop our hearts and end our lives.
“The simulation room is designed to replicate the world around you. It creates different simulations to help you practice because in the real world things will be very different.”
We stepped outside the training center entrance and went into the door on the right.
“Hunters first.” Trent opened the door and I stepped in.
Inside was a dead forest. Trees shot up all around me. Branches intertwined above me and gnarled roots sprung up under my feet. The sky was a pale mist with a fog that hung low, running across the roots like water. I jumped when Trent snapped a twig.
“Where are we?”
“This is the simulation room. It’s designed to change according to the hunter’s memory.”
“I don’t remember this place.”
“Interesting choice for someone who can’t remember - an abandoned forest.”
The wind tickled my chin. I shivered and rubbed my arms.
“I will be waiting at the other end. Your job is to get through safely.” He held out a hand gun. “This is your weapon.”
I stared at the gun. In my head I was saying no, but I wasn’t sure if it was coming out. Obviously not, because I reached out and took the gun. It felt as though a sudden weight was added to the right side of my body and I felt lopsided as I held it in my hand.
Sam flashed in my mind, his hands around my waist. I held a gun in my hands and was aiming at knot in a tree. We were standing in a forest together. The smell of damp earth after a rainstorm filled the air.
“Point it like this. Position your body - perfect.”
The moment stopped. What the hell was that? I’d never shot a gun with Sam before. Thinking of the way he’d touched me made me blush.
Trent was staring at me. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, fine. How do I know where it ends?”
“I don’t know. It’s your creation, not mine.” He trudged back out the door, leaving me alone. I looked back at the large forest, rubbing my head. It was just me and this forest. This kind of solitude made me feel like I was back in my room all over again, hoping for time to pass faster so I did not have to feel the pain of what I’d lost.
I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, my breath coming out in one big puff, hanging in the air like a cloud before disintegrating. It was now or never.
It was eerie to walk amongst the trees and remind myself that this wasn’t real. Every tree I touched, every branch that quivered when I hit it, or the heavy thud when I walked, seemed real. There was nothing but endless trees and no sign of a path.
I stopped going out at night after that. Stoclo was too dangerous. Rinfero was becoming more and more divided. The Trux seemed so strong compared to us. It was easy for them to get their way and for us to be okay with it.
I hugged my shoulders and closed my eyes, picturing that chandelier. Maybe we were heading for that - destruction. We fell so easily, like a chandelier crashing to the ground. It made no difference if we were the most powerful rector. We were a fallen state now.
Part two of emotional/mental training was the simulation room. Trent took me there after my run the next morning. Vince had given me a hug when I departed with Trent.
“Don’t let it scare you,” he whispered in my ear as he hugged me. No one hugged me like that except Sam. It surprised me how much comfort I felt through that hug. I didn’t realize how open my heart was to the idea of love, of how much the Pax as a whole desperately longed for human touch, but instead we got mankind’s creation: metal. The kind that could stop our hearts and end our lives.
“The simulation room is designed to replicate the world around you. It creates different simulations to help you practice because in the real world things will be very different.”
We stepped outside the training center entrance and went into the door on the right.
“Hunters first.” Trent opened the door and I stepped in.
Inside was a dead forest. Trees shot up all around me. Branches intertwined above me and gnarled roots sprung up under my feet. The sky was a pale mist with a fog that hung low, running across the roots like water. I jumped when Trent snapped a twig.
“Where are we?”
“This is the simulation room. It’s designed to change according to the hunter’s memory.”
“I don’t remember this place.”
“Interesting choice for someone who can’t remember - an abandoned forest.”
The wind tickled my chin. I shivered and rubbed my arms.
“I will be waiting at the other end. Your job is to get through safely.” He held out a hand gun. “This is your weapon.”
I stared at the gun. In my head I was saying no, but I wasn’t sure if it was coming out. Obviously not, because I reached out and took the gun. It felt as though a sudden weight was added to the right side of my body and I felt lopsided as I held it in my hand.
Sam flashed in my mind, his hands around my waist. I held a gun in my hands and was aiming at knot in a tree. We were standing in a forest together. The smell of damp earth after a rainstorm filled the air.
“Point it like this. Position your body - perfect.”
The moment stopped. What the hell was that? I’d never shot a gun with Sam before. Thinking of the way he’d touched me made me blush.
Trent was staring at me. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, fine. How do I know where it ends?”
“I don’t know. It’s your creation, not mine.” He trudged back out the door, leaving me alone. I looked back at the large forest, rubbing my head. It was just me and this forest. This kind of solitude made me feel like I was back in my room all over again, hoping for time to pass faster so I did not have to feel the pain of what I’d lost.
I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, my breath coming out in one big puff, hanging in the air like a cloud before disintegrating. It was now or never.
It was eerie to walk amongst the trees and remind myself that this wasn’t real. Every tree I touched, every branch that quivered when I hit it, or the heavy thud when I walked, seemed real. There was nothing but endless trees and no sign of a path.
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