woman up in the Oslomarka. For some reason or other he repeated their conversation verbatim, as far as he could recall it, as well as the thought that had occurred to him: that not all women would dare walk alone in the forest in the evening. After that, he told her about the rest of his day.
Miriam served coffee from a cafetière. He took a sip. Blue Java, if he had to guess.
– This is good coffee. And I reckon I’m a connoisseur.
She was clearly preoccupied with what he had just been telling her.
– Before you met her, she said as she slipped into a chair on the other side of the table, – you took a swim in a tarn deep in the forest, and then you found that shelter made of spruce branches.
– I don’t know why I’m telling you all this, Miriam.
– There’s nothing to be worried about.
It was as though every little thing interested her. It gave everything he said a slightly different meaning than he gave it himself. At the same instant he thought about taking her up there. To the tarn and the twig shelter. He liked the thought of walking in the forest with her. He was about to say this, but restrained himself. Instead began talking about the life he would soon be going home to. Riding lessons, football practice, family dinners. Marlen and Tom, Daniel who had gone to New York to study, and Bie, who was a journalist on a fashion magazine she’d once edited. He told her all this to release the tension that had been building in him, and he could feel that it helped.
– You’re the type of person people open up to, Miriam. Tell you what, if you were in the police, you’d get plenty of confessions.
She looked up through the skylight.
– It’s always been like that. The stories I hear live on inside me. They can knock me out of my stride for a long time after.
– How is that going to affect your work as a doctor? You can’t let things get to you. If you do, you’ve no chance.
She blew on to her cup and took a sip.
– I’ll have to learn to live with it. Learn how to erect barriers. I think I’m getting better.
– At any rate, I’ll spare you the rest of my story, he said, putting down his cup and standing up.
He stopped next to the chair she was sitting in. She looked up. Her face was shadowed in the grey light falling from the window above. That yellowy green he’d noticed in her eyes earlier wasn’t visible now. For the first time he sensed that there was something else there, beneath her calm. Had probably noticed it already when she arrived in the morning. He hadn’t asked her a single question about her life. It was a matter of avoiding any openings that might turn her into something more than a young student he was in touch with for a few autumn weeks before disappearing from his life for good. He could feel he was almost back in control again and was determined not to let it go this time. All the same, he asked her:
– Has something happened?
She looked away.
– I’ve got a confession to make, Axel, she answered after a pause. – It was no accident that I got my practical at your clinic. I swapped with someone else. When you lectured us before the summer, I came to see you in the breaks every day. I thought about you afterwards. I was stupid enough to suppose you were thinking about me too. But when I came into your office that first day, you didn’t even remember me.
– What did you want from me? he asked.
– I had to talk to you again.
– Talk?
He touched her shoulder. She leaned in towards him.
– I think that’s what I wanted.
Her lower lip protruded slightly. He bent down and kissed it.
– I have to go now.
He pulled her up out of the chair. The trousers she was wearing were made of some smooth stuff and were tight across her hips. His hand slid down across the waistband. She stretched up and pressed her lips against his neck.
– This mustn’t happen, Miriam.
– All right then, she murmured, – it mustn’t happen.
13
F ATHER R AYMOND STAYED
Miriam served coffee from a cafetière. He took a sip. Blue Java, if he had to guess.
– This is good coffee. And I reckon I’m a connoisseur.
She was clearly preoccupied with what he had just been telling her.
– Before you met her, she said as she slipped into a chair on the other side of the table, – you took a swim in a tarn deep in the forest, and then you found that shelter made of spruce branches.
– I don’t know why I’m telling you all this, Miriam.
– There’s nothing to be worried about.
It was as though every little thing interested her. It gave everything he said a slightly different meaning than he gave it himself. At the same instant he thought about taking her up there. To the tarn and the twig shelter. He liked the thought of walking in the forest with her. He was about to say this, but restrained himself. Instead began talking about the life he would soon be going home to. Riding lessons, football practice, family dinners. Marlen and Tom, Daniel who had gone to New York to study, and Bie, who was a journalist on a fashion magazine she’d once edited. He told her all this to release the tension that had been building in him, and he could feel that it helped.
– You’re the type of person people open up to, Miriam. Tell you what, if you were in the police, you’d get plenty of confessions.
She looked up through the skylight.
– It’s always been like that. The stories I hear live on inside me. They can knock me out of my stride for a long time after.
– How is that going to affect your work as a doctor? You can’t let things get to you. If you do, you’ve no chance.
She blew on to her cup and took a sip.
– I’ll have to learn to live with it. Learn how to erect barriers. I think I’m getting better.
– At any rate, I’ll spare you the rest of my story, he said, putting down his cup and standing up.
He stopped next to the chair she was sitting in. She looked up. Her face was shadowed in the grey light falling from the window above. That yellowy green he’d noticed in her eyes earlier wasn’t visible now. For the first time he sensed that there was something else there, beneath her calm. Had probably noticed it already when she arrived in the morning. He hadn’t asked her a single question about her life. It was a matter of avoiding any openings that might turn her into something more than a young student he was in touch with for a few autumn weeks before disappearing from his life for good. He could feel he was almost back in control again and was determined not to let it go this time. All the same, he asked her:
– Has something happened?
She looked away.
– I’ve got a confession to make, Axel, she answered after a pause. – It was no accident that I got my practical at your clinic. I swapped with someone else. When you lectured us before the summer, I came to see you in the breaks every day. I thought about you afterwards. I was stupid enough to suppose you were thinking about me too. But when I came into your office that first day, you didn’t even remember me.
– What did you want from me? he asked.
– I had to talk to you again.
– Talk?
He touched her shoulder. She leaned in towards him.
– I think that’s what I wanted.
Her lower lip protruded slightly. He bent down and kissed it.
– I have to go now.
He pulled her up out of the chair. The trousers she was wearing were made of some smooth stuff and were tight across her hips. His hand slid down across the waistband. She stretched up and pressed her lips against his neck.
– This mustn’t happen, Miriam.
– All right then, she murmured, – it mustn’t happen.
13
F ATHER R AYMOND STAYED
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