Read Online Maybe Forever (Maybe... Book 3) by Kim Golden - Free Book Online
Authors: Kim Golden
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beach and then the glittering ocean, she jumped up and down in her stroller and called out to me, "Mommy, Mommy! Havet !"
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" The Atlantic Ocean glittered green in the morning sun. Freya, too, seemed charmed by it. Though I often took them to Amager Strand and Hellerup, they were not used to seeing a sea so vast.
Aunt Cecily pointed to a playground with a view of the beach. "Let's go there so the girls can work off a little of that jet lag."
At the playground, Liv was suddenly shy. She hovered, not wanting to approach the other children. I assured her it would be okay and walked her over to the swing set. Aunt Cecily was on the play center with Freya, taking her on the slide and having a blast. I asked Liv if she wanted to do that instead, but she shook her head no and began to cry.
I picked her up and held her tightly. My sweet Liv, so tired, so confused by hearing so much English around her when she was used to hearing more Danish...sleeping in a new house, not having her father around. It was all too much for her today.
With each sob, a piece of my will shattered. She was well and truly a daddy's girl. Even when Mads worked late he would find time for Liv. Everything we went through to bring her into the world...the nights we spent together at the hospital, learning to care for our prematurely born daughter, terrified she might not make it through her first months of life... If anyone had all of Mads's heart it was Liv. And for Liv, Mads was the sun, the moon, the stars. She might like cuddles from me, but she adored her father—broken promises and all. At home, her eyes followed him wherever he went. She trailed him, always ready to clamber into his lap, always finding pebbles or bits of paper to present to him as if they were the finest gifts. Sometimes I'd find them napping together on the sofa or their heads bent over drawings—Mads sketching new ideas for future projects, Liv scribbling family portraits or animals. And in the evenings, if Mads was home early, only he could tuck her in.
Freya and Aunt Cecily spent a few more minutes on the play center before they joined us on the bench.
"You know, it's not going to get any easier." Cecily unzipped the cooler bag we'd brought with us. She rummaged around inside it until she found Freya's sippy cup. "One of the hardest things you can do is be a single parent."
"I know... I'm not taking any of this lightly."
"I know you aren't, Laney... and I know you needed to come here. You look worn out...don't protest, I see it—there's no light in your eyes, you move like there is no fire in you anymore."
"I'll be fine—"
"Not if you don't take care of yourself."
"I don't have time to think about me."
"Of course you do. That's why you're here. Now, I think I know how to help you."
"I was hoping you'd have a solution," I admitted. My arms were numb from holding Liv for so long. I brushed her hair back from her forehead. She'd fallen asleep again, so I put her in the stroller and draped my shawl over it to keep the worst of the sun off her. She wasn't used to this strong sunlight and we'd forgotten sunscreen at my aunt's house.
"Well, I do. You need a babysitter, to start with."
"And you've got one?"
"I do. My neighbor's oldest daughter, Peyton. I'll introduce you to her. She could come by, watch Liv so you could go out, meditate..."
"Meditate...? You know I don't do that..."
"Well, maybe you should. I think some meditation and yoga would help you... and it would help this little one too." Cecily tickled Freya's belly. My youngest daughter kicked out her chubby legs and smiled up at her surrogate grandmother. "I know you love her...but you don't seem as bonded with her as you should be. I can see it. And you don't want this sweet little girl growing up thinking her mother does not love her."
"I do love her—"
"Laney, I know you do, but you've had these blues so long you don't see that your love for her pales in comparison to how you are
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" The Atlantic Ocean glittered green in the morning sun. Freya, too, seemed charmed by it. Though I often took them to Amager Strand and Hellerup, they were not used to seeing a sea so vast.
Aunt Cecily pointed to a playground with a view of the beach. "Let's go there so the girls can work off a little of that jet lag."
At the playground, Liv was suddenly shy. She hovered, not wanting to approach the other children. I assured her it would be okay and walked her over to the swing set. Aunt Cecily was on the play center with Freya, taking her on the slide and having a blast. I asked Liv if she wanted to do that instead, but she shook her head no and began to cry.
I picked her up and held her tightly. My sweet Liv, so tired, so confused by hearing so much English around her when she was used to hearing more Danish...sleeping in a new house, not having her father around. It was all too much for her today.
With each sob, a piece of my will shattered. She was well and truly a daddy's girl. Even when Mads worked late he would find time for Liv. Everything we went through to bring her into the world...the nights we spent together at the hospital, learning to care for our prematurely born daughter, terrified she might not make it through her first months of life... If anyone had all of Mads's heart it was Liv. And for Liv, Mads was the sun, the moon, the stars. She might like cuddles from me, but she adored her father—broken promises and all. At home, her eyes followed him wherever he went. She trailed him, always ready to clamber into his lap, always finding pebbles or bits of paper to present to him as if they were the finest gifts. Sometimes I'd find them napping together on the sofa or their heads bent over drawings—Mads sketching new ideas for future projects, Liv scribbling family portraits or animals. And in the evenings, if Mads was home early, only he could tuck her in.
Freya and Aunt Cecily spent a few more minutes on the play center before they joined us on the bench.
"You know, it's not going to get any easier." Cecily unzipped the cooler bag we'd brought with us. She rummaged around inside it until she found Freya's sippy cup. "One of the hardest things you can do is be a single parent."
"I know... I'm not taking any of this lightly."
"I know you aren't, Laney... and I know you needed to come here. You look worn out...don't protest, I see it—there's no light in your eyes, you move like there is no fire in you anymore."
"I'll be fine—"
"Not if you don't take care of yourself."
"I don't have time to think about me."
"Of course you do. That's why you're here. Now, I think I know how to help you."
"I was hoping you'd have a solution," I admitted. My arms were numb from holding Liv for so long. I brushed her hair back from her forehead. She'd fallen asleep again, so I put her in the stroller and draped my shawl over it to keep the worst of the sun off her. She wasn't used to this strong sunlight and we'd forgotten sunscreen at my aunt's house.
"Well, I do. You need a babysitter, to start with."
"And you've got one?"
"I do. My neighbor's oldest daughter, Peyton. I'll introduce you to her. She could come by, watch Liv so you could go out, meditate..."
"Meditate...? You know I don't do that..."
"Well, maybe you should. I think some meditation and yoga would help you... and it would help this little one too." Cecily tickled Freya's belly. My youngest daughter kicked out her chubby legs and smiled up at her surrogate grandmother. "I know you love her...but you don't seem as bonded with her as you should be. I can see it. And you don't want this sweet little girl growing up thinking her mother does not love her."
"I do love her—"
"Laney, I know you do, but you've had these blues so long you don't see that your love for her pales in comparison to how you are
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