I got to the bedroom I heard what sounded like a porn tape on.
âHe must have been bored,â I thought out loud.
I peeked in the door and almost lost my lunch. My eyes were watching Ronald having sex in my bed with another dude. And guess who the other dude was? Darius, the old-man lover from the club. I couldnât believe this shit. My luck canât be that bad. My nose flared up instantly. My first impression was to burst in the room and start throwing punches. But, I decided against it. I had a trick up my sleeve that was going to be a long-lasting memory in both their lives.
I crept back down in to my kitchen and quietly put a large pot of water on the stove. The hotter the pot got the hotter I got, so I threw some hot sauce in the pot to make it an even more painful experience for them. I heard somewhere that that was a lethal combination on the skin at those temperatures. I grabbed the pot off the stove with some potholders and made my way up to my bedroom. They surely would remember my name. I set the pot down briefly as I made a quick detour to my office to grab my gun I had stashed in the closet. No one but me knew that I had bought a gun. I was a new homeowner and I lived alone. I felt that it was a necessity.
I stashed the gun in the back of my pants so they wouldnât see it. It was unloaded, but they didnât have to know it. I brought it thinking that I would never actually have to use it.
I picked up the pot of boiled water and hot sauce and crept to the door of my room in hopes that I could still catch them in the act. And sure enough I had made it just in time. Ronald was fucking Darius from behind and as they both climaxed I burst in and threw the boiling water on them. Screams and yelling filled the room as they both jumped out the bed with looks of surprise and shock on their faces as they patted their skin, trying to make the burning feeling go away. I was truly hurting. They were patting their skin as if it were on fire. They looked pitiful.
âBaby, Iââ Ronald said after a few seconds of just standing there with fear on his face.
âSave it!â I yelled, cutting him off and pulling the gun from behind my back. âThere is no way you can explain this one.â They both stood in the middle of the floor stark naked, dripping dicks and all. I shook my head in disgust.
âHow could you?â I said with a broken-down mug. I was on the verge of tears, but I was tired of crying for these sorry-ass fools I encountered.
âIt was an accident,â Ronald spoke. I must have been playing the part of the fool so good that he thought that that was going to float with me.
âSo you are telling me you accidentally started fucking him?â I said, pointing the gun at Darius. He was quiet as a mouse and could have been mistaken for a mute if I didnât hear him moaning in pleasure minutes ago.
âThatâs not what I mean,â he said, coming toward me. âBaby, let me explain it.â
âMuthafucka, Iâm good with this gun. You take another step and you going to be looking for one of your balls underneath my bed. And you!â I said, now looking at Darius. âHow in the hell did you end up here?â
âI memorized your address when you showed me your identification the other night. I was trying to come by and apologize for the other night.â
âSo you said, âWhat the hell, let me get a nut since I came all this way,â huh,â I almost yelled.
Ronald chuckled. I couldnât believe this Negro thought this situation was funny. I got even madder.
âThis is not a standup show, bastard.â I looked at him with disdain.
He quickly quieted himself.
I shook my head again in disbelief. I didnât think it could have gotten any worse than this.
âTime for yâall to go,â I said, pointing toward the door.
They started picking up their clothes and shoes.
âHell nah, that shit
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