mesh with Lemaitre. He’s the most controlled—and controlling—person on the planet. The two of you will never work out. You’re too different.”
“But we’re different in the right ways.” She thought a moment, trying to put her feelings into words that Jason might understand. “It’s like...when you feel drawn to someone, and you know they have something you need, something you want. You understand in your heart how perfect you would be for them. That’s how I feel about him. I feel like we belong together. I want to be close to him. I ache for him, Jason.”
“Why? Because he’s Michel Lemaitre? Because he’s a badass, and your boss? This is a classic case of lusting after what you can’t have, merely because you can’t have it. And once you received it—if you ever did receive it—you’d realize it wasn’t as great and fulfilling as you built it up to be. I think you experienced a little of that last night. There’s always a letdown after you sample forbidden fruit.”
“Oh, really?” She pursed her lips. “Those are your words of wisdom?”
“Do you or do you not feel like shit this morning? If Lemaitre was so great, you wouldn’t be feeling this agony. Believe me, he’s not the godlike figure you envision. He has no magical powers, no Midas touch that’s going to turn everything in your life to gold. He’s only a man, and he has the same weaknesses and drawbacks we all have. He’s just better at creating this image of power and fantasy. It’s also the formula for creating spectacles, for magic acts and circus. That’s why he’s so good at what he does.”
Valentina took a deep breath in and out. Magic. Was Lemaitre’s overwhelming appeal only some engineered sleight-of-hand? A circus trick? A falsehood?
Somehow that upset her even more than his rejection. “Do you think he ever cries?” she asked. “Does he ever doubt himself?”
“Yes to both questions. He’s human, like you and me. If you find things about him to admire, then admire him, but don’t feel like he’s some god you have to touch for your life to be complete.” He shrugged and leaned away from her. “Anyway, you’ve already touched him. He brought you here and made you the subject of an entire show. How greedy can a mere mortal be?”
His teasing tone brought a much-needed, if weak, smile to her lips. She looked up into her director’s incisive sea-blue eyes. “You’re right. This isn’t the end of the world. I think I’m calmer now.”
“Good.” He glanced at his watch. “Because I’m late for my next practice. Damn it. Are you really okay? You’re not going to hop a plane to Naples?”
She shook her head. “I guess I’m staying here.”
“Then I suggest you take a day to get your head back on straight. Unpack, go out for some lunch, soak in the tub. Maybe go to Priya and get a mind-numbing back rub. Whatever you do, don’t think about him. He’s gone anyway, back to Brussels.”
That thought comforted her. He wasn’t even here, and probably wouldn’t be for any length of time until the construction project wound down. That gave her some leeway to get over him, at least the deepest pangs of misery and rejection, but she thought she’d always feel a little pain when she saw him. Feelings that strong never went away.
“Wait,” she said as Jason moved toward the door.
He looked uneasy when he turned. “What now?”
“If he won’t have me because I’m too hot-headed and crazy...well...what if I became less crazy? What if I worked on being calm and sedate?”
“Calm and sedate?” He made a face. “Even if such a thing was possible, you couldn’t keep it up long-term. You wouldn’t be you.”
“People can change.”
“You’ll never be calm and sedate, Valentina. I’m sorry, but that’s the truth. My advice? Forget about Lemaitre and find someone who wants you as you are. I mean, there are a ton of men and women who would love to top you. You could take your pick of a
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