saw it was Nick Frazer something very curious happened. She behaved as she had never thought it would be possible for her to behave. She didn’t think. It was a reflex, the result of those weeks of thinking and longing and wondering. She ran to him and into his arms. He put out his arms and caught her and held her, and they stood there on the gravel path in the grounds of Hilderbridge General Hospital, embraced as if they had long been lovers and had known each other with profound emotion and physical joy and had been parted only to meet again now, by chance, so felicitously.
‘I’ve thought about you every day, all the time,’ he said.
‘Oh, I know, I know,’ she said.
‘I knew exactly why you didn’t come and I thought you knew why I didn’t come to you. But it was a deadlock, no way of breaking out of it. I even hoped that damned cat would find his way back so that I’d have an excuse to ring you.’
‘I had a sort of fantasy he’d go to Mrs Africa’s and I’d go there after him and so would you and we’d meet.’
‘Did you? I had a feeling like that too. How mad we’ve been, Lyn. Lyn, Lyn, that’s the first time I’ve said your name. Except to myself, I’ve said it a hundred times to myself.’
She said in a level voice, though her hands were shaking, like puppets jerked on strings, ‘I’ve been visitingmy sister. My brother-in-law’s with her now but visiting ends at eight and I have to take him home. I brought him so I have to take him back.’
‘Let him take your car and you stay with me,’ Nick said.
‘I can’t do that.’ They stood under a cedar tree. Nick took her in his arms and kissed her but, when his lips parted and she could taste his mouth, she drew back. There were movements in her body that frightened her. She said, and her voice wasn’t steady any more, ‘I have to take Kevin home now. Should we — should we see each other tomorrow?’
‘Lunch at the Blue Lagoon?’
She nodded.
‘I don’t want to let you go, but d’you know, I feel so ridiculously happy. I am awake, aren’t I? I haven’t succumbed to weariness at Uncle Jim’s bedside and fallen asleep? Of course I haven’t, I don’t dream, never have. It’s early closing tomorrow — we can have all the afternoon together.’
She smiled at him. Then she walked away quickly along the path to the car park. Kevin was waiting by the car, leaning his arms on its roof, bored, smoking a cigarette.
‘What d’you think of her, then?’
Lyn blinked at him. He seemed curiously unreal. ‘I’m sorry?’ she said.
‘Jo. I said what d’you think of her?’
‘She seems okay. How would
I
know?’
He got into the car beside her, gangling, long-legged, with big hands and feet. She realized for the first time fully consciously that she was ill at ease with, even afraid of, very tall men. Nick and she, they were proportioned to each other, they seemed to belong to the same tribe.
‘Okay if we pick up Trev?’
Kevin’s twin worked in some factory or mill in North Hilderbridge where he did the maximum overtime. He was waiting on the Jackley Road outside a pub called the Ostrich, Kevin’s double in every particular until he had grown a moustache.
‘Where’s old Steve got to, Lyn?’
‘Where d’you think?’ said Kevin. ‘I tell her she’s a moor widow.’
‘Yeah, but what’s he escaping from, Lyn? What’s with him he can’t adjust to reality?’
‘The moor’s real enough, I should think.’ She didn’t want to discuss Stephen.
‘It’s either an acute case of claustrophobia or his super ego could be compelling him to confront agoraphobia.’
‘Why don’t you apply for a grant and go and do a psychology degree at the tech?’ said Lyn.
Trevor began to explain why not, about the pointlessness of formal education in an area where knowledge depended so much upon intuition, and also about how much he earned with his overtime at Batsby Ball Bearings. She didn’t listen. She thought of Nick and
‘I’ve thought about you every day, all the time,’ he said.
‘Oh, I know, I know,’ she said.
‘I knew exactly why you didn’t come and I thought you knew why I didn’t come to you. But it was a deadlock, no way of breaking out of it. I even hoped that damned cat would find his way back so that I’d have an excuse to ring you.’
‘I had a sort of fantasy he’d go to Mrs Africa’s and I’d go there after him and so would you and we’d meet.’
‘Did you? I had a feeling like that too. How mad we’ve been, Lyn. Lyn, Lyn, that’s the first time I’ve said your name. Except to myself, I’ve said it a hundred times to myself.’
She said in a level voice, though her hands were shaking, like puppets jerked on strings, ‘I’ve been visitingmy sister. My brother-in-law’s with her now but visiting ends at eight and I have to take him home. I brought him so I have to take him back.’
‘Let him take your car and you stay with me,’ Nick said.
‘I can’t do that.’ They stood under a cedar tree. Nick took her in his arms and kissed her but, when his lips parted and she could taste his mouth, she drew back. There were movements in her body that frightened her. She said, and her voice wasn’t steady any more, ‘I have to take Kevin home now. Should we — should we see each other tomorrow?’
‘Lunch at the Blue Lagoon?’
She nodded.
‘I don’t want to let you go, but d’you know, I feel so ridiculously happy. I am awake, aren’t I? I haven’t succumbed to weariness at Uncle Jim’s bedside and fallen asleep? Of course I haven’t, I don’t dream, never have. It’s early closing tomorrow — we can have all the afternoon together.’
She smiled at him. Then she walked away quickly along the path to the car park. Kevin was waiting by the car, leaning his arms on its roof, bored, smoking a cigarette.
‘What d’you think of her, then?’
Lyn blinked at him. He seemed curiously unreal. ‘I’m sorry?’ she said.
‘Jo. I said what d’you think of her?’
‘She seems okay. How would
I
know?’
He got into the car beside her, gangling, long-legged, with big hands and feet. She realized for the first time fully consciously that she was ill at ease with, even afraid of, very tall men. Nick and she, they were proportioned to each other, they seemed to belong to the same tribe.
‘Okay if we pick up Trev?’
Kevin’s twin worked in some factory or mill in North Hilderbridge where he did the maximum overtime. He was waiting on the Jackley Road outside a pub called the Ostrich, Kevin’s double in every particular until he had grown a moustache.
‘Where’s old Steve got to, Lyn?’
‘Where d’you think?’ said Kevin. ‘I tell her she’s a moor widow.’
‘Yeah, but what’s he escaping from, Lyn? What’s with him he can’t adjust to reality?’
‘The moor’s real enough, I should think.’ She didn’t want to discuss Stephen.
‘It’s either an acute case of claustrophobia or his super ego could be compelling him to confront agoraphobia.’
‘Why don’t you apply for a grant and go and do a psychology degree at the tech?’ said Lyn.
Trevor began to explain why not, about the pointlessness of formal education in an area where knowledge depended so much upon intuition, and also about how much he earned with his overtime at Batsby Ball Bearings. She didn’t listen. She thought of Nick and
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