physics.
She hoisted
herself from the couch and untied her robe to head for the bathroom to shave.
Regardless of her emotional distance from him lately, they still had an
important date tonight and she knew what the result would be – lovemaking. On
her way to the shower, she studied her scar in the mirror again. It no longer
tingled and appeared to be fine. Good. She turned the nozzle to the
shower and stepped in.
When the water
warmed, she cradled her small breasts in her arms and leaned into the wall to
let the hot water roll down her back. Her cheek rested on the cool tile, and as
soon as she closed her eyes, her ‘painter man’s’ face flashed through her mind
from the night before -- his sad face, staring out the window.
She opened her
eyes and leaned against the water to wet her hair. Her fingers ran through the
wavy curtain to saturate each strand, and her mind wandered somewhere that she
had never let it go before, somewhere unexpected – into the fantasy of him
accompanying her in the shower. What if he was there with her now? His
lean, naked body pressed to hers, holding her in a passionate embrace. She let
out a deep, yearning sigh, and her eager fingertips made their way down her
stomach, between her legs.
Ding-dong!
The doorbell
rang through the house, rudely interrupting her intimate moment as if it were
on purpose. Seriously?! her thoughts screamed.
Resentful that it
jolted her from of her erotic daydream, she turned the nozzle off and snatched
a towel to answer the door, fully prepared with a chiding look if it happened
to be a salesman. It was too early to be bothered.
When she swung
it open, to her surprise, there stood Benjamin, puffy eyed from jet lag,
clutching a bouquet of her favorite flower – lilies. “Morning, beautiful,” he
crooned.
“Benjamin!” she
cried, attempting to conceal the shock of his unexpected visit. In an odd way,
it felt as though she still had another man in the shower. She jumped into his
arms. “I’m so glad you’re back,” she whispered. And despite her initial shock,
she was.
Her long legs
wrapped around his waist, and the white towel fell to the floor as they locked
lips. With her body fastened to his, he shut the door behind them with his foot
and walked straight for the bedroom.
*
* *
While Benjamin
slept, she laid beside him while drumming her fingers atop her stomach as she
thought, wondering if her enthusiasm in bed was partly because she had
fantasized about her ‘painter man’ beforehand. A few times during sex she also
fantasized that Benjamin was him as he moved his capable, steady hands
over her body. She imagined that they belonged to him instead, painting her
curves and secret crevices.
As an
afterthought, her fantasies seemed like a violation against Benjamin. But that
was as close as she would ever get to knowing her ‘painter man’ in that way.
Venturing into
that uncharted territory frightened her a little. It could cause the dangerous
lion her desire had become to break loose and wreak its havoc, but it also
brought an exhilaration to her carnal need to be truly pleasured. It wasn’t
that Benjamin couldn’t pleasure her. His lovemaking emitted a tender, selfless warmth,
which made for a wonderful experience. She had no complaints with him in that
department. But as enjoyable as it was physically, their lovemaking fell short
somewhere, and when she thought of her ‘painter man’ that day in bed, it tapped
into a part of her she had never accessed, heightening her arousal to its peak.
At one point she thought her body might actually combust.
She rolled to
the side and watched as he slept. If she continued a relationship with him, she
knew she would eventually need to let her fantasies go, which also meant, her
late night visits to the rooftop. Her stomach dropped at the thought of it. Especially
now, she didn’t know if she could muster the strength. To help shake the
uncomfortable notion, she rolled delicately off
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