Read Online Major Karnage by Gord Zajac - Free Book Online Page A

that, John.”
    “You think I’m crazy.”
    “You’re not crazy,” Riggs said. “You just need help. There are some
very angry people out there who want your head.”
    “There’s a very angry fella in here who wants yours.”
    “These are some very powerful people, John. Some very powerful
people. I’m doing everything I can to help. All you need to do is sign
a few forms for me, and we can get you out of here.”
    “What kind of a slow-witted bohunk do you take me for?”
    “I’m just trying to help you here, John.”
    “Fuck you and your help, Roach.”
    Riggs shrugged. “All right. If that’s the way you feel about it. I’ll
stop in tomorrow. See how you’re doing. Let me know if you change
your mind.”
    Riggs turned and headed for the door. Karnage tried to glare
him to death as he walked out. It didn’t work. “I’m gonna kill that
asshole.”
    Karnage’s neck buzzed. “Warning Sanity Level upgraded to
Daffodil. Please refrain from violent behaviour.”
    “What’s that voice in the back of your neck about?” Stumpton
said.
    “It’s nothin’.” Karnage examined the cell door. “What are these
bars made of?”
    “E-nium,” Stumpton said.
    “E-nium? What the hell is E-nium?”
    “It’s a reconstituted alloy. Made from the shavings of scrap metal.
They mash it up into a kind of polymer. Supposed to be stronger
than titanium. It’s one of those E-friendly products.”
    “What the hell is an E-friendly product?”
    “It’s one with a big ‘E’ sticker on it.”
    Karnage jerked a thumb at the monitor in his cell. “What about
these computers? Can we use ’em to get out?”
    Stumpton shook his head. “They’re not tied to any of the main
systems. Just the food and lavatory stuff.”
    “That food’s got to come from somewhere, and that shit’s got to
go someplace else.”
    “I don’t know about that.”
    “What do you mean?”
    “Might be a closed-circuit system.”
    “You mean shit gets recycled into food?”
    “Might be.”
    “What makes you say that?”
    “Wait ’til you taste it.”
    “I don’t plan to be here that long.” Karnage ran his fingers along
the corner of the tray jutting out from the wall. “What’s behind
these panels?“
    “I don’t know. I haven’t been able to get behind them.”
    “Maybe I can.” Karnage slipped his fingers into the gap between
the tray and the wall. He pulled on the tray. He could feel the
resistance of the bent fork pushing against the inside of the wall.
Karnage pulled harder. He heard the creak of metal as the fork bent
inside the wall. Something snapped, and the tray popped out. The
mangled fork dangled from the cable, its head sheared off. Karnage
looked up at the monitor. The red kitties of death were still on the
screen. Karnage’s neck buzzed. “Warning. Sanity Level upgraded to
Citrus Blast. Please refrain from violent behaviour.”
    “Looks like the system has to be reset manually,” Stumpton said.
    “Looks like.” Karnage picked up the fork and gave it a solid yank.
    “You’re wasting your time with that,” Stumpton said. “That
carbon nanotube stuff doesn’t break.”
    “I don’t expect it to.” Karnage wrapped the fork’s wire around his
fist. He braced his foot against the wall and pulled hard.
    Metal groaned. Something inside the wall snapped. The tray fell
halfway out of the wall.
    Karnage braced himself against the wall and gave another pull.
There was another screech of metal and the tray broke free. It landed
with a heavy thud on the floor. The Sanity Patch buzzed.
    “Warning. Sanity Level upgraded to Peachy Keen. Please refrain
from violent behaviour.”
    Stumpton whistled. “What are you going to do with that?”
    “I’m gonna pick the lock.” Karnage unwrapped the cable from his
hand and grabbed the fork by its handle. He stood in the middle
of the cell and started swinging the tray around in a circle, like an
athlete prepping for a hammer throw.