Read Online magic and mayhem 01 - switching hour by Robyn Peterman - Free Book Online
Authors: Robyn Peterman
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Green and blood red magical fire whooshed up my arms and a fury consumed me. I was certain I looked like a Christmas tree inferno, but this was no time to be vain. Were these the fuckers that had tried to kill little Bo? And now they were after my bodyguard? Hell no. Not on my clock.
I pointed and aimed. Blazing magic flew from my hands to the bad guys. Two honey badgers popped like watermelons when you dropped them off of a five-story building. How did I know this? Easy. I'd been tossing watermelons and other large fruit off buildings since I was a child. Innocent fun had been difficult to come by as a young witch...
The wolf glanced over in shock for a moment and then went back to his fight with a viciousness that left me a bit breathless. I sure as hell hoped he was the good guy because I was popping badgers like I popped bubble wrap. Between the two of us I was fairly sure we were winning.
It was all going swimmingly until my aim went awry and I zapped the wolf in the ass.
"Shit," I screamed as I watched him drop to the ground with a thud. At least he didn't pop.
The honey badgers that remained dove on him while several ran at full speed toward me. As soon as I was done here I was leaving this town. For real.
I lifted my arms and chanted to the Goddess.
"Evil is as evil does.
Help me save the day.
Take from this Earth the ones who sin.
Make them go away."
In a massive blast of magic each and every honey badger was blown to smithereens and I couldn't have been happier. Violence had never been my forte or desire, but when it came down to me or them I definitely voted for me.
Now for the wolf...
He was huge and smelled like sunshine and wind. WTF? Animals were supposed to stink. Thankfully he was still alive. Even though he was a bloody mess I wanted to bury my face in his fur. However, I needed to get the huge thing out of here. Who knew what else was lurking?
Only one problem… he weighed a ton.
I considered going back for help, but there was no way I was leaving him out here alone and practically dead. So I dragged him. Magic helped, but I was a bit depleted from my honey badger kill-fest. I was sweating and got his blood on my mini skirt. That was unacceptable. I needed to zap myself into a clean skirt, but that would be using my magic incorrectly according to Bumpy Yumpy. I hated Bumpy Yumpy.
Thirty minutes later and now sporting blood on my Prada flats and chocolate cami, I was pissed. But I was home.
"Get your asses out here and help me," I shouted.
Simon, Wanda, Bo, Fabio, Chuck and the trio I didn't want to know the names of came flying out of the house.
"Ohhhhhhh myyyyyy Goddesssss, what happened?" Fabio screeched.
"Honey badgers happened," I hissed.
"And you're still alive?" the rabbit asked.
"Apparently. And I sure as hell hope there are some flats in that Prada bag you brought because I ruined these. Help me get this damn wolf to the basement."
Fabio came right to my side, but the others were frozen in shock. As Fab would be of little help dragging the wolf, I slapped my hands on my hips and stared down the crowd.
"Did you stop speaking English while I was out popping honey badgers?" I demanded.
"You popped them?" the mountain lion asked, impressed.
"Like ticks. Now help me."
"That's Mac," the rabbit gasped. "What happened to him?"
"I had bad aim and I zapped him by accident," I explained to the flabbergasted group. "What? I didn't mean to."
"He's gonna be mad." The wolf I'd healed was grinning from ear to ear.
"And that's funny?" I ground out.
"Yep," he answered. "Very funny."
"Whatever. Just help me bring him to the basement."
"I think it would be better and more appropriate if we took him to a bedroom," Simon volunteered. He had gone pale and was shaking.
"Absolutely not. He may smell really good, but he's bleeding like a stuck pig
Green and blood red magical fire whooshed up my arms and a fury consumed me. I was certain I looked like a Christmas tree inferno, but this was no time to be vain. Were these the fuckers that had tried to kill little Bo? And now they were after my bodyguard? Hell no. Not on my clock.
I pointed and aimed. Blazing magic flew from my hands to the bad guys. Two honey badgers popped like watermelons when you dropped them off of a five-story building. How did I know this? Easy. I'd been tossing watermelons and other large fruit off buildings since I was a child. Innocent fun had been difficult to come by as a young witch...
The wolf glanced over in shock for a moment and then went back to his fight with a viciousness that left me a bit breathless. I sure as hell hoped he was the good guy because I was popping badgers like I popped bubble wrap. Between the two of us I was fairly sure we were winning.
It was all going swimmingly until my aim went awry and I zapped the wolf in the ass.
"Shit," I screamed as I watched him drop to the ground with a thud. At least he didn't pop.
The honey badgers that remained dove on him while several ran at full speed toward me. As soon as I was done here I was leaving this town. For real.
I lifted my arms and chanted to the Goddess.
"Evil is as evil does.
Help me save the day.
Take from this Earth the ones who sin.
Make them go away."
In a massive blast of magic each and every honey badger was blown to smithereens and I couldn't have been happier. Violence had never been my forte or desire, but when it came down to me or them I definitely voted for me.
Now for the wolf...
He was huge and smelled like sunshine and wind. WTF? Animals were supposed to stink. Thankfully he was still alive. Even though he was a bloody mess I wanted to bury my face in his fur. However, I needed to get the huge thing out of here. Who knew what else was lurking?
Only one problem… he weighed a ton.
I considered going back for help, but there was no way I was leaving him out here alone and practically dead. So I dragged him. Magic helped, but I was a bit depleted from my honey badger kill-fest. I was sweating and got his blood on my mini skirt. That was unacceptable. I needed to zap myself into a clean skirt, but that would be using my magic incorrectly according to Bumpy Yumpy. I hated Bumpy Yumpy.
Thirty minutes later and now sporting blood on my Prada flats and chocolate cami, I was pissed. But I was home.
"Get your asses out here and help me," I shouted.
Simon, Wanda, Bo, Fabio, Chuck and the trio I didn't want to know the names of came flying out of the house.
"Ohhhhhhh myyyyyy Goddesssss, what happened?" Fabio screeched.
"Honey badgers happened," I hissed.
"And you're still alive?" the rabbit asked.
"Apparently. And I sure as hell hope there are some flats in that Prada bag you brought because I ruined these. Help me get this damn wolf to the basement."
Fabio came right to my side, but the others were frozen in shock. As Fab would be of little help dragging the wolf, I slapped my hands on my hips and stared down the crowd.
"Did you stop speaking English while I was out popping honey badgers?" I demanded.
"You popped them?" the mountain lion asked, impressed.
"Like ticks. Now help me."
"That's Mac," the rabbit gasped. "What happened to him?"
"I had bad aim and I zapped him by accident," I explained to the flabbergasted group. "What? I didn't mean to."
"He's gonna be mad." The wolf I'd healed was grinning from ear to ear.
"And that's funny?" I ground out.
"Yep," he answered. "Very funny."
"Whatever. Just help me bring him to the basement."
"I think it would be better and more appropriate if we took him to a bedroom," Simon volunteered. He had gone pale and was shaking.
"Absolutely not. He may smell really good, but he's bleeding like a stuck pig
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