with several children, still ran it from her apartment in the city, although she didn't participate in the activities inside the club's brownstone in the East Fifties.
What went on within the walls of the club was a deep secret, but he'd heard through his client that almost any erotic fantasy could be fulfilled. And because of its list of well-known members, the club was free of most law enforcement involvement.
Why hadn't he told Pam about it? He considered that question. When he'd first investigated it, he'd been horrified, but as time passed and he thought more about it and talked to his client, his opinion began to change. Now he believed in what the club did, provide safe and fulfilling entertainment for local and out-of-town business types at a hefty fee. The fact that Vin DePalma had shelled out two thousand dollars a session didn't surprise him, and that he visited regularly once a week wasn't unusual. The fact that Pam hadn't suspected anything was more of a surprise.
He thought about her. What about her sex life with her husband had been so unsatisfying that he'd had to go elsewhere? He realized that there were many men who wanted to try things that they didn't think they could discuss with their wives, and many men seemed to have more powerful sex drives than the women they'd been married to for ten or twenty years. He suspected, however, that had Vin discussed things with his wife, she might have been amenable. He had no coherent idea why he thought that, but there was something in her attitude. She hated having to probe into her late husband's life, afraid of what she might find out, but she knew it had to be done so she was doing it. He reasoned that had Vin come to her and told her he needed something he wasn't getting, she would have made an effort to satisfy him.
He sat back at his desk and let his mind wander, allowed himself a moment to focus on his newest client. Might she be interested in being something more than a client?
Don't be silly
. It was much too soon after her husband's death. But he couldn't get her quiet strength out of his mind. He visualized her hands, soft and well manicured, but with business-length nails. He wondered how they would feel raking down a lover's back.
What in the world led him to think about her that way? He didn't really know, but there was a spark in her that he sensed might be amazing if tapped. He knew he was being very unprofessional. She was a client and he had a strong rule about not dating clients. His firm dealt mostly with computer security, but he did do some detective work for spouses wanting information on the doings of an errant husband or wife. He met people at their most vulnerable and, although he had the opportunity to date and even make love with wives who needed someone with whom to prove their attractiveness, he'd always demurred.
Pam attracted him, but as he straightened and turned to his computer terminal, he vowed that he would keep their relationship professional. Strictly professional.
On Pam's drive home she briefly thought about the attractive man she'd just met. He was sexy, in a cherubic sort of way, but she certainly wasn't in the market for anyone right now. After all, Vin had been gone for less than six months and she was in mourning, wasn't she? She touched the ache inside and found as always that it wasn't sadness. Rather, inside the emptiness there was only a lack of direction.
She'd read a couple of articles on death and dying since the accident and she knew the stages everyone went through. She wasn't following the pattern. Why hadn't she wept? Why had she just accepted Vin's death and not denied it had happened, or railed against God, offering to trade her life for his? Didn't she care enough?
She deliberately changed the direction of her thoughts, considering the ways she'd have to cut back on expenses. Most were small in the great scheme of things, but every dollar would be important. Right after she had talked with Mark
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