Read Online Lush Curves 6: Safe Harbor (A BBW Erotic Romance) by Delilah Fawkes - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Delilah Fawkes
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tears from my eyes and swirl them away down the drain. I was tired of crying. Tired of feeling like crap. Tired of the emotional rollercoaster of trying to be with Gavin Fletcher.
Despite how much I still ached for him, despite how much I wanted everything to be okay and to just fall into his arms, and despite the opportunities I had working for such a powerful man, I knew what I had to do.
I had to leave.
I had to get away, back to somewhere I knew I’d be wanted. Where I’d be safe. As soon as I got home to my apartment, I was going back to Hawaii with my cousin Kali. Back to grandma’s house, and hopefully to a place where I could find a little peace of mind.
I just wanted to be myself again. I wanted to be Aolani instead of this heartbroken shell I’d transformed into. I was no model. No lover. No exotic world traveler.
I was just Aolani, and I wanted to find that girl again.
I wanted to be okay. To be safe. To be home.
The flight I’d booked was a red eye, leaving in a few hours. I had just enough time to make my preparations and get out. I lay down on my bed, wrapped in the hotel robe and covered my face with my hands.
I just hoped I was doing the right thing.
***
Gavin
Malcolm and I spent the night in the hotel bar, tucked into a shadowy corner, nursing pints of dark beer and speaking in low voices about what had happened. We’d both cleaned up as best we could in the lobby bathroom, but we were a sorry looking pair—him sporting a broken nose and me a black eye that swelled like a bastard and made my vision blur.
“So,” Malcolm said. “Do you love her?”
I took a long draw from my beer and looked up slowly, wincing. “Aye. I do.”
“But you haven’t told her.”
I felt his stare before meeting his blue gaze. Sometimes I felt like this brother of mine could see right through me. Where Graham often kept to himself, something about Malcolm’s insistent stare always cut right to the heart of me. We understood one another, sometimes without even speaking.
“No. I haven’t.”
He shook his head and drank, his expression saying what he didn’t need to. He and I both knew I was a fool.
“I’ve been a coward,” I said, running my hands through my hair. “God, Malcolm. What is bloody wrong with me?”
He narrowed his eyes at me, as if trying to read my mind. “This is about Fi, isn’t it?”
I sighed deeply, my chest aching at the thought. But strangely enough, the hole that had been in my heart for so long could no longer be filled by the memories of red curls on my pillow, and a lilting laugh caught up in the sea air. No, now it longed for the one I knew my heart belonged to. To Aolani Kahale, her dark eyes drawing me to her, her incredible heart keeping me close.
She was the one. It was amazing to me that I hadn’t seen it all along.
“I couldn’t let her go for so long. I promised, you know?”
Malcolm clapped a hand on my shoulder. “I know. I remember.”
The memory of him holding me as I wept, punching my leg with my fist, trying to wrap my head around the fact that my dearest was gone, gone forever to a place I couldn’t follow, welled up inside of me.
“I still have the ring. Aolani saw it.”
“And?”
“I… I told her I couldn’t give her my heart. That I could never love her the way she wanted me to.”
There was a long silence between us. Then, Malcolm sat back and raised his eyebrows, letting out a long sigh.
“Jesus Christ , Gavin.”
I frowned at my brother and raised an eyebrow.
“Don’t give me that look. You obviously are mad about her and have for a while now. It’s written all over your face.”
I nodded slowly. How right he was. I loved her so fiercely that it frightened me, but also exhilarated me in a way I’d never felt before. In that moment, I saw a future opening up before me, so bright it hurt to look at it. Hurt to think about. It was too good. Too beautiful.
I loved Aolani Kahale, and I wanted to be with
Despite how much I still ached for him, despite how much I wanted everything to be okay and to just fall into his arms, and despite the opportunities I had working for such a powerful man, I knew what I had to do.
I had to leave.
I had to get away, back to somewhere I knew I’d be wanted. Where I’d be safe. As soon as I got home to my apartment, I was going back to Hawaii with my cousin Kali. Back to grandma’s house, and hopefully to a place where I could find a little peace of mind.
I just wanted to be myself again. I wanted to be Aolani instead of this heartbroken shell I’d transformed into. I was no model. No lover. No exotic world traveler.
I was just Aolani, and I wanted to find that girl again.
I wanted to be okay. To be safe. To be home.
The flight I’d booked was a red eye, leaving in a few hours. I had just enough time to make my preparations and get out. I lay down on my bed, wrapped in the hotel robe and covered my face with my hands.
I just hoped I was doing the right thing.
***
Gavin
Malcolm and I spent the night in the hotel bar, tucked into a shadowy corner, nursing pints of dark beer and speaking in low voices about what had happened. We’d both cleaned up as best we could in the lobby bathroom, but we were a sorry looking pair—him sporting a broken nose and me a black eye that swelled like a bastard and made my vision blur.
“So,” Malcolm said. “Do you love her?”
I took a long draw from my beer and looked up slowly, wincing. “Aye. I do.”
“But you haven’t told her.”
I felt his stare before meeting his blue gaze. Sometimes I felt like this brother of mine could see right through me. Where Graham often kept to himself, something about Malcolm’s insistent stare always cut right to the heart of me. We understood one another, sometimes without even speaking.
“No. I haven’t.”
He shook his head and drank, his expression saying what he didn’t need to. He and I both knew I was a fool.
“I’ve been a coward,” I said, running my hands through my hair. “God, Malcolm. What is bloody wrong with me?”
He narrowed his eyes at me, as if trying to read my mind. “This is about Fi, isn’t it?”
I sighed deeply, my chest aching at the thought. But strangely enough, the hole that had been in my heart for so long could no longer be filled by the memories of red curls on my pillow, and a lilting laugh caught up in the sea air. No, now it longed for the one I knew my heart belonged to. To Aolani Kahale, her dark eyes drawing me to her, her incredible heart keeping me close.
She was the one. It was amazing to me that I hadn’t seen it all along.
“I couldn’t let her go for so long. I promised, you know?”
Malcolm clapped a hand on my shoulder. “I know. I remember.”
The memory of him holding me as I wept, punching my leg with my fist, trying to wrap my head around the fact that my dearest was gone, gone forever to a place I couldn’t follow, welled up inside of me.
“I still have the ring. Aolani saw it.”
“And?”
“I… I told her I couldn’t give her my heart. That I could never love her the way she wanted me to.”
There was a long silence between us. Then, Malcolm sat back and raised his eyebrows, letting out a long sigh.
“Jesus Christ , Gavin.”
I frowned at my brother and raised an eyebrow.
“Don’t give me that look. You obviously are mad about her and have for a while now. It’s written all over your face.”
I nodded slowly. How right he was. I loved her so fiercely that it frightened me, but also exhilarated me in a way I’d never felt before. In that moment, I saw a future opening up before me, so bright it hurt to look at it. Hurt to think about. It was too good. Too beautiful.
I loved Aolani Kahale, and I wanted to be with
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