the left of the cash register.
‘You’re quiet today,’ Molly says. ‘You’re not still worried about James, are you?’
‘Oh, no, I’m not worried about him.’ I brush her off, perhaps a little too hastily. A flicker of something passes over her features and I’m not quite sure what it means. ‘I mean, I do miss him. I’m just really hung-over,’ I moan, and she smiles at me strangely but lets it be.
The truth is, I don’t want to chat because I’m too busy replaying my conversation with Nathan over and over again in my head. I could have easily stayed out on the porch talking to him until the sun came up.
I heard him sigh when he went into his bedroom last night to sleep and it was heartbreaking. What used to be his cosy teenage retreat is now neatly made up for B&B customers. I can’t begin to imagine what it must’ve been like for him to lose his parents at the age of fifteen. I still regret not being here for Sam when the accident happened. But at least he had Molly. I was selfishly jealous of that fact at the time, but that wasprobably when he and Molly finally realised how precious their relationship was.
In the early evening, when tiredness finally gets the better of me, I tell Molly and Sam I’ve got a bad case of jet lag and head to bed. I might not see Nathan now until the wedding in nine days’ time and I don’t know how I’m going to wait. I wonder if this bizarre crush will have passed when I wake up in the morning.
Soon after I fall asleep my phone beeps and I come to and grab it, imagining it could be him. But it’s a text from James and I feel foolish and disappointed. He asks me to call, but I don’t want to. That conversation with Nathan last night about his ‘stories’ troubled me. My unease is growing, not shrinking, and I can’t help but doubt him again.
I try to go back to sleep, but ten minutes later my phone starts to ring. Is it Nathan? My heart hopes.
No, it’ll be James. And it is.
‘Lucy! How are you?’
‘Sleeping.’
‘Oh, sorry, baby. I should’ve known. Hang on, isn’t it only about nine thirty there?’
‘Yeah, but I’m tired. Still jet-lagged.’
‘Oh, okay.’ A pause. ‘Sorry.’
I feel bad but I don’t know what to say.
‘What’s wrong? You sound different.’
‘Well, I’m a long way away. Sorry,’ I say, forcing myself to perk up. ‘Where are you? Shouldn’t you be at work?’
‘I am at work, Lucy.’
‘Oh. Are you calling from your work phone?’
‘Yes.’
‘Won’t that get you into trouble?’
‘I don’t think anyone in the company is going to notice.’ He’s sounding a tad frustrated now with my questions. ‘I bought something for you yesterday,’ he says, cheering up.
‘Really? What?’
‘I’m not telling you,’ he replies, with a jovial note of secrecy.
I don’t really know what to say to that.
‘James, are you coming to this meeting or not?’ I hear a woman’s voice speak in the background.
‘I’ll be right there.’ James’s voice sounds muffled. He’s obviously covering the receiver.
‘Sorry,’ he says to me. ‘I should let you sleep. Love you.’
‘You too,’ I answer mechanically.
I can’t get back to sleep afterwards. I feel naughty but when thoughts of James sift softly out of my mind and Nathan floats back in, I don’t fight it.
In what feels like the early hours of the morning, I jerk awake, feeling hot and feverish. I was dreaming about Nathan kissing my lips and scuffing my skin with his dark stubble. For a moment I blame Bert the bat for interrupting my fantasy, but then I realise my phone is buzzing. Oh, James …I think crossly, and press the green button.
‘Hello?’
‘Lucy.’
‘Yes?’ I ask sleepily.
‘It’s Nathan.’
I sit bolt upright. ‘Nathan! What time is it?’
‘It’s just after six in the morning,’ he answers brightly. ‘We said we’d go surfing tomorrow, right? Well, it is tomorrow. Just over twenty-four hours. Sorry, I’m a bit
‘You’re quiet today,’ Molly says. ‘You’re not still worried about James, are you?’
‘Oh, no, I’m not worried about him.’ I brush her off, perhaps a little too hastily. A flicker of something passes over her features and I’m not quite sure what it means. ‘I mean, I do miss him. I’m just really hung-over,’ I moan, and she smiles at me strangely but lets it be.
The truth is, I don’t want to chat because I’m too busy replaying my conversation with Nathan over and over again in my head. I could have easily stayed out on the porch talking to him until the sun came up.
I heard him sigh when he went into his bedroom last night to sleep and it was heartbreaking. What used to be his cosy teenage retreat is now neatly made up for B&B customers. I can’t begin to imagine what it must’ve been like for him to lose his parents at the age of fifteen. I still regret not being here for Sam when the accident happened. But at least he had Molly. I was selfishly jealous of that fact at the time, but that wasprobably when he and Molly finally realised how precious their relationship was.
In the early evening, when tiredness finally gets the better of me, I tell Molly and Sam I’ve got a bad case of jet lag and head to bed. I might not see Nathan now until the wedding in nine days’ time and I don’t know how I’m going to wait. I wonder if this bizarre crush will have passed when I wake up in the morning.
Soon after I fall asleep my phone beeps and I come to and grab it, imagining it could be him. But it’s a text from James and I feel foolish and disappointed. He asks me to call, but I don’t want to. That conversation with Nathan last night about his ‘stories’ troubled me. My unease is growing, not shrinking, and I can’t help but doubt him again.
I try to go back to sleep, but ten minutes later my phone starts to ring. Is it Nathan? My heart hopes.
No, it’ll be James. And it is.
‘Lucy! How are you?’
‘Sleeping.’
‘Oh, sorry, baby. I should’ve known. Hang on, isn’t it only about nine thirty there?’
‘Yeah, but I’m tired. Still jet-lagged.’
‘Oh, okay.’ A pause. ‘Sorry.’
I feel bad but I don’t know what to say.
‘What’s wrong? You sound different.’
‘Well, I’m a long way away. Sorry,’ I say, forcing myself to perk up. ‘Where are you? Shouldn’t you be at work?’
‘I am at work, Lucy.’
‘Oh. Are you calling from your work phone?’
‘Yes.’
‘Won’t that get you into trouble?’
‘I don’t think anyone in the company is going to notice.’ He’s sounding a tad frustrated now with my questions. ‘I bought something for you yesterday,’ he says, cheering up.
‘Really? What?’
‘I’m not telling you,’ he replies, with a jovial note of secrecy.
I don’t really know what to say to that.
‘James, are you coming to this meeting or not?’ I hear a woman’s voice speak in the background.
‘I’ll be right there.’ James’s voice sounds muffled. He’s obviously covering the receiver.
‘Sorry,’ he says to me. ‘I should let you sleep. Love you.’
‘You too,’ I answer mechanically.
I can’t get back to sleep afterwards. I feel naughty but when thoughts of James sift softly out of my mind and Nathan floats back in, I don’t fight it.
In what feels like the early hours of the morning, I jerk awake, feeling hot and feverish. I was dreaming about Nathan kissing my lips and scuffing my skin with his dark stubble. For a moment I blame Bert the bat for interrupting my fantasy, but then I realise my phone is buzzing. Oh, James …I think crossly, and press the green button.
‘Hello?’
‘Lucy.’
‘Yes?’ I ask sleepily.
‘It’s Nathan.’
I sit bolt upright. ‘Nathan! What time is it?’
‘It’s just after six in the morning,’ he answers brightly. ‘We said we’d go surfing tomorrow, right? Well, it is tomorrow. Just over twenty-four hours. Sorry, I’m a bit
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