Read Online Love on a Dirt Road (The Roughneck Series Book 1) by Nicole Hart - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Nicole Hart
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exhaled but remained silent.
"I know it's not my business" I said quietly.
"Jay's my dad" Jase said after a couple of minutes.
"Oh" I said. I was confused. "I thought he wasn't in the picture?"
"He's not" He said quickly.
"But he calls you?"
"He tries." Jase said. "But I don't answer"
"Why?" I asked. "I'm sorry Jase. I just want to know you more. I want to learn everything about you." I said as I scooted myself onto his lap and nuzzled into his neck.
I could feel his pulse quicken in his neck. Maybe I shouldn't have asked.
"Ok." He said with a sigh. "I don't ever talk about this, but you make it pretty hard to tell you no." He gave me a tiny grin. He was trying to lighten the mood. I backed away from him a little so I could look at his eyes.
He looked down and his shoulders slumped a little. My heart was already breaking for him. Whatever it was, this was hard for him. I put my hands in his and gave him a squeeze.
"My mom got sick when I was 11. She was a really good mom." He said as he looked into my eyes. "Before she got sick, she would sing all the time. She would sing while she did the dishes or cooked me breakfast. She would make up songs to get me to do my homework." He said with a little smile as he looked down. "She was a good mom. But when she got sick, she got real bad, real fast. She just wasted away in a few months. Jay was there for her though, I'll give him that. But once she died, he changed."
Jase was rubbing my hand with his thumbs as he talked. I knew this was hard for him to talk about. But he needed to get it out. My eyes welled up with tears just looking at the brokenness on his face. I didn't speak, I just waited when he paused.
"He started doing drugs. Speed I guess. He would leave for days at a time. I would be alone. I didn't have anybody else. He kept working and paying the bills though, he just wasn't around. He would get groceries sometimes. But that even stopped after a while. I would mow yards in my neighborhood to get food money. It went on for years. He would take off, then come home acting crazy. He would talk about people following him or watching him. He wasn't my dad anymore. He was a junkie." Jase said. His eyes were full of hurt but his voice didn't show any emotion. But he continued.
"When I was 16, I got a job at the local carwash. I saved up all the money I could for months to get a car. He came home one day while I was at school and stole it. My room was tore up and he left a needle in the bathroom. Who does that shit?" Jase said as he looked up at me.
"I'm so sorry Jase" I whispered. My voice full of emotion as I pushed the lump in my throat back down.
"He denied it, of course. He was so fucked up in the head, he probably didn't even remember. After that I got a bank account so he couldn't touch it. Anyway, I graduated from high school, got a job on the rig and made my own way."
"When is the last time you saw him?" I asked.
"After my first hitch. I went home to get my stuff since I finally had the money for my own place."
"You haven't seen him in 8 years?" I said.
"Nope" He replied.
"How does he have your number?" I asked.
"An old buddy from school gave it to him a few years ago. He didn't realize what a pain in my ass it would be. He didn't know how bad things were."
"How often does he call?"
"Couple times a week."
"And you never answer his calls?" I asked. I knew I was asking a lot of questions but I had to know.
"No."
"Ever?" I asked, a little shocked.
"No, Lainey" He said with a little laugh. "Never"
"Wow" It was all I could say.
"Now. Can we please not talk about it anymore?" He asked, but it really wasn't a question. He was done talking about it, whether I liked it or not. I knew that for sure. "Let's watch that movie."
"Ok." I said, even though it took everything in me to stop asking questions.
Jase grabbed the remote and turned on an Adam
"I know it's not my business" I said quietly.
"Jay's my dad" Jase said after a couple of minutes.
"Oh" I said. I was confused. "I thought he wasn't in the picture?"
"He's not" He said quickly.
"But he calls you?"
"He tries." Jase said. "But I don't answer"
"Why?" I asked. "I'm sorry Jase. I just want to know you more. I want to learn everything about you." I said as I scooted myself onto his lap and nuzzled into his neck.
I could feel his pulse quicken in his neck. Maybe I shouldn't have asked.
"Ok." He said with a sigh. "I don't ever talk about this, but you make it pretty hard to tell you no." He gave me a tiny grin. He was trying to lighten the mood. I backed away from him a little so I could look at his eyes.
He looked down and his shoulders slumped a little. My heart was already breaking for him. Whatever it was, this was hard for him. I put my hands in his and gave him a squeeze.
"My mom got sick when I was 11. She was a really good mom." He said as he looked into my eyes. "Before she got sick, she would sing all the time. She would sing while she did the dishes or cooked me breakfast. She would make up songs to get me to do my homework." He said with a little smile as he looked down. "She was a good mom. But when she got sick, she got real bad, real fast. She just wasted away in a few months. Jay was there for her though, I'll give him that. But once she died, he changed."
Jase was rubbing my hand with his thumbs as he talked. I knew this was hard for him to talk about. But he needed to get it out. My eyes welled up with tears just looking at the brokenness on his face. I didn't speak, I just waited when he paused.
"He started doing drugs. Speed I guess. He would leave for days at a time. I would be alone. I didn't have anybody else. He kept working and paying the bills though, he just wasn't around. He would get groceries sometimes. But that even stopped after a while. I would mow yards in my neighborhood to get food money. It went on for years. He would take off, then come home acting crazy. He would talk about people following him or watching him. He wasn't my dad anymore. He was a junkie." Jase said. His eyes were full of hurt but his voice didn't show any emotion. But he continued.
"When I was 16, I got a job at the local carwash. I saved up all the money I could for months to get a car. He came home one day while I was at school and stole it. My room was tore up and he left a needle in the bathroom. Who does that shit?" Jase said as he looked up at me.
"I'm so sorry Jase" I whispered. My voice full of emotion as I pushed the lump in my throat back down.
"He denied it, of course. He was so fucked up in the head, he probably didn't even remember. After that I got a bank account so he couldn't touch it. Anyway, I graduated from high school, got a job on the rig and made my own way."
"When is the last time you saw him?" I asked.
"After my first hitch. I went home to get my stuff since I finally had the money for my own place."
"You haven't seen him in 8 years?" I said.
"Nope" He replied.
"How does he have your number?" I asked.
"An old buddy from school gave it to him a few years ago. He didn't realize what a pain in my ass it would be. He didn't know how bad things were."
"How often does he call?"
"Couple times a week."
"And you never answer his calls?" I asked. I knew I was asking a lot of questions but I had to know.
"No."
"Ever?" I asked, a little shocked.
"No, Lainey" He said with a little laugh. "Never"
"Wow" It was all I could say.
"Now. Can we please not talk about it anymore?" He asked, but it really wasn't a question. He was done talking about it, whether I liked it or not. I knew that for sure. "Let's watch that movie."
"Ok." I said, even though it took everything in me to stop asking questions.
Jase grabbed the remote and turned on an Adam
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