Read Online Love, Nina by Nina Stibbe - Free Book Online

Will’s stinky trainers?
    Me: I’ve powdered them.
    MK: Powdered them? What with?
    Me: I bought some talc.
    MK: If you bought talc, why not the trainer things?
    Me: They’re out of stock in Will’s size.
    Next day MK pulled a pack of enormous Odor-Eaters from her bag.
    Me: They look too big.
    MK: You cut them down to size.
    Me: ( to MK ) Sounds like a job for you.
    Enjoy the Weetabix factory outing.
    Love, Nina
    *  *  *
    Dear Vic,
    Took two pillows in a bin liner to Parkway laundrette (extra-large load). Sam had done a bit of sick on them (not enough to ruin them but too much to ignore).
    The laundrette woman said the filling might perish in the wash, but worth the risk to save them. They came out clean but clumpy. Laundrette woman said they might fluff up with a tumble dry. They did a bit, but not to their former fluffiness and shape. They weren’t very nice anymore, but smelled nice (Daz). Anyway, somehow they ended up on Mary-Kay’s bed. MK brought them down to show and discuss.
    MK: What are these?
    Me: Pillows.
    MK: Yes, but why have I got them? Where are my usual ones?
    Me: Sam’s probably got your usual ones.
    MK: So what are these?
    Me: I think they might be the ones I laundered.
    MK: Laundered?
    Me: Took to the laundrette.
    MK: Are they washable?
    Me: Not as such, but it was kill or cure.
    MK: It was kill.
    If it’s me shopping, I buy Daz for the smell and comfort (a tiny drop) but MK always gets Persil, which I dislike. It smells like overripe melons. Plus I’d prefer a washing line outside but it’s not the done thing here. We have a Sheila Maid in the utility and a tumble dryer.
    Pippa has a new hair thing.
    Me: Have you been swimming?
    Pippa: ( dripping wet hair ) No, why?
    Me: Your hair’s wet.
    Pippa: No, I’m using a wet-look mousse.
    Me: Why?
    Pippa: My hair always looks best when wet.
    Later:
    Me: Pippa is using a wet-look mousse.
    MK: What looks wet?
    Me: Her hair, she thinks it looks nice wet.
    MK: Can’t she just wet it?
    I’m going to say that exact thing to her if it crops up again.
    Told MK about Pippa thinking you have to put one leg up on the toilet to insert a tampon (because the woman in the diagram does). MK said it seemed reasonable.
    MK’s been wearing a half-cardi/half-shawl thing. It’s cozy-looking but aging.
    Hope you and co. are all well.
    Love, Nina
    *  *  *
    Dear Vic,
    Can’t tell if Michael Neve is mentally ill or just unusual. On the one hand he reads the LRB and is a doctor of something, on the other he turned up today in the middle of the morning and asked if he could play a record he’d just bought from the Record and Tape Exchange on Camden High Street.
    ( MK’s sitting room. Music blaring. )
    Neve: ( singing along with the record ) “Little Red Corvette, baby, you’re much too fast”—it’s excellent, isn’t it?
    Me: It’s OK.
    Neve: He’s saying, “slow down baby” to this chick—they’re about to fuck in the car.
    Me: Right.
    Neve: Does your friend like it ( meaning Carmelita, on the stairs with a brush )?
    Me: That’s Carmelita, the cleaner.
    Neve: Yes, I know, does she like Prince?
    Me: How should I know?
    Neve: “Little Red Corvette, baby, you’re much too fast” ( singing & dancing ).
    Me: Do you want a cup of tea?
    Neve: “Little Red Corvette, baby, I shoulda known, Little Red Corvette”—no tea, darling, I’ve got to go to work.
    Me: OK.
    Neve: I just wanted to share this fucking genius song with you ( puts record on again ).
    Afterward, I wanted to let Carmelita know that Neve is MK’s friend, not mine. Carmelita lives with Karel and Betsy and I don’t want a bad reputation with them. They like me. They even said I was “a good thing.” Plus they’re friends of the Lahrs who think I have nice feet.
    Me: That was Michael.
    Carmelita: Yes.
    Me: He’s a friend of