odd look. ‘Not that I can say.’
‘Only I was watching something about it on the telly. How you should talk to babies in the womb. Apparently they can hear everything.’
‘Blimey. I hope not.’
The woman was getting up now.
‘’Bye,’ said Lisa, waving to the baby. ‘How cute is that! She’s waving back!’
‘Yeah, she’s just learned. ’Bye, then.’
And the woman was gone, swallowed into the Saturday crowds.
Carefully, Lisa got to her feet. ‘Can’t sit here all day, can we, Rose?’ She headed towards a large baby chain store. It was busy this morning. But not one assistant on the floor. Never was. They were all behind the counter.
‘Got any TENS machines, like?’
The woman at the front of the queue frowned at Lisa for interrupting, but she didn’t care.
‘Sorry,’ said the assistant. ‘We’re out of stock. You might be able to get one online.’
She could if her credit card had enough money on it. Sighing, Lisa moved on to the underwear section. Looked like they were out of maternity pants too. Still, she could have a flick through sleepsuits. Such lovely colours. Lemon, green, blue and, yes , rose . . .
‘Lisa! It is Lisa, isn’t it?’
Reluctantly, she looked up. It was one of the mums from the centre, the plump one with the kind face and the daughter who did jigsaws all day.
‘Yeah.’
‘Busy today, isn’t it? I’m trying to get a present for a niece – should have known better than to come on a Saturday.’
Lisa felt irritated at having to make small-talk. She’d wanted to feel the clothes in peace, run her finger along the seams, imagine what it would be like to hold her new baby.
‘Stocking up, are you? How exciting!’
A wonderful thrill pulsated through Lisa. She was expecting a baby! Sometimes it didn’t seem real. It wouldn’t make up for what had happened, of course, and she couldn’t stop being frightened in case something went wrong again. But it was better, so much better, than not being pregnant.
‘When are you due?’
‘I’m not sure. My dates are a bit uncertain.’
‘I had the same problem with my daughter. In fact, I sometimes wonder if that’s why—’ She stopped suddenly. ‘But you’ll be working at the centre for a bit longer, won’t you?’
Lisa nodded.
‘Good. Tabitha really likes you.’ The woman smiled shyly. ‘She’s got a thing about your hair. You’ve probably noticed from the way she tries to stroke it.’
All these questions were making her nervous. ‘Sorry, I’ve got to go now. My partner’s waiting.’ Lisa jerked her head at a man by the door. He was short, fat and bald but he was on his own. He’d do.
‘That’s nice. You wouldn’t get many men shopping here on a Saturday. My ex hated it.’
Suddenly Lisa felt as though the shop was closing in on her. She couldn’t breathe. If she didn’t get out, she’d go mad.
‘Lisa?’
What did she want, touching Lisa’s arm like that?
‘You’ve still got something in your hands. Don’t forget to pay. I did that once and it was really embarrassing.’
‘Thanks,’ she mumbled.
A child yelled and they looked at the door from where the noise was coming. The short, fat, bald man was kneeling down, trying to pacify it. A woman with a six-month bump was next to them. They were clearly a family.
Tabitha’s mum smiled sadly, and Lisa knew she’d seen through her lie. ‘Well, I’d better be off and post this, then.’ The woman glanced down at the carrier-bag she was holding. ‘My dad’s looking after Tabitha and I can’t be long. See you next week.’
Lisa made her way to the till with the sleepsuit, looking back over her shoulder as the woman disappeared into the crowd.
The kid was still yelling but the father was still patiently kneeling next to it, wiping its face with a tissue, trying to make it feel better.
It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fucking fair.
EMAIL FROM MARK SUMMERS
Sorry, everyone, but my daughter Florrie has got to do some market
‘Only I was watching something about it on the telly. How you should talk to babies in the womb. Apparently they can hear everything.’
‘Blimey. I hope not.’
The woman was getting up now.
‘’Bye,’ said Lisa, waving to the baby. ‘How cute is that! She’s waving back!’
‘Yeah, she’s just learned. ’Bye, then.’
And the woman was gone, swallowed into the Saturday crowds.
Carefully, Lisa got to her feet. ‘Can’t sit here all day, can we, Rose?’ She headed towards a large baby chain store. It was busy this morning. But not one assistant on the floor. Never was. They were all behind the counter.
‘Got any TENS machines, like?’
The woman at the front of the queue frowned at Lisa for interrupting, but she didn’t care.
‘Sorry,’ said the assistant. ‘We’re out of stock. You might be able to get one online.’
She could if her credit card had enough money on it. Sighing, Lisa moved on to the underwear section. Looked like they were out of maternity pants too. Still, she could have a flick through sleepsuits. Such lovely colours. Lemon, green, blue and, yes , rose . . .
‘Lisa! It is Lisa, isn’t it?’
Reluctantly, she looked up. It was one of the mums from the centre, the plump one with the kind face and the daughter who did jigsaws all day.
‘Yeah.’
‘Busy today, isn’t it? I’m trying to get a present for a niece – should have known better than to come on a Saturday.’
Lisa felt irritated at having to make small-talk. She’d wanted to feel the clothes in peace, run her finger along the seams, imagine what it would be like to hold her new baby.
‘Stocking up, are you? How exciting!’
A wonderful thrill pulsated through Lisa. She was expecting a baby! Sometimes it didn’t seem real. It wouldn’t make up for what had happened, of course, and she couldn’t stop being frightened in case something went wrong again. But it was better, so much better, than not being pregnant.
‘When are you due?’
‘I’m not sure. My dates are a bit uncertain.’
‘I had the same problem with my daughter. In fact, I sometimes wonder if that’s why—’ She stopped suddenly. ‘But you’ll be working at the centre for a bit longer, won’t you?’
Lisa nodded.
‘Good. Tabitha really likes you.’ The woman smiled shyly. ‘She’s got a thing about your hair. You’ve probably noticed from the way she tries to stroke it.’
All these questions were making her nervous. ‘Sorry, I’ve got to go now. My partner’s waiting.’ Lisa jerked her head at a man by the door. He was short, fat and bald but he was on his own. He’d do.
‘That’s nice. You wouldn’t get many men shopping here on a Saturday. My ex hated it.’
Suddenly Lisa felt as though the shop was closing in on her. She couldn’t breathe. If she didn’t get out, she’d go mad.
‘Lisa?’
What did she want, touching Lisa’s arm like that?
‘You’ve still got something in your hands. Don’t forget to pay. I did that once and it was really embarrassing.’
‘Thanks,’ she mumbled.
A child yelled and they looked at the door from where the noise was coming. The short, fat, bald man was kneeling down, trying to pacify it. A woman with a six-month bump was next to them. They were clearly a family.
Tabitha’s mum smiled sadly, and Lisa knew she’d seen through her lie. ‘Well, I’d better be off and post this, then.’ The woman glanced down at the carrier-bag she was holding. ‘My dad’s looking after Tabitha and I can’t be long. See you next week.’
Lisa made her way to the till with the sleepsuit, looking back over her shoulder as the woman disappeared into the crowd.
The kid was still yelling but the father was still patiently kneeling next to it, wiping its face with a tissue, trying to make it feel better.
It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fucking fair.
EMAIL FROM MARK SUMMERS
Sorry, everyone, but my daughter Florrie has got to do some market
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