Read Online Louise Rennison_Georgia Nicolson 05 by Away Laughing on a Fast Camel - Free Book Online Page B

Elvis? Handcuffs? A straitjacket? A T-shirt with ‘I am a complete and utter tosser’ written on it?”
    However, I was ignorez-vous ed and Jools said, “You left early, Gee. Why…did you have the painters in?”
    Jas looked at me. She is still not officially talking to me since the hat over the stupid head scenario.
    Everyone looked at me.
    Stop looking at me in that lookingy way.
    Ellen said, “I am soo upset about Dave the Laugh. I thought he might have got over the thingy, you know, Horn stuff, but then he…you know, brought that girl, you know…er…”
    Rosie said, “Rachel.”
    Ellen said, “No, I’m, I mean I’m Ellen I you…”
    Rosie said, “Ellen, get a grip…the girl, Dave’s Horn mate, she is called Rachel.”
    Ellen went dithering on, “Yes, I mean Rachel, I couldn’t believe it when he turned up with her.”
    I said, “I know.”
    Ellen was rambling on for England (taking over from Jas, all-time world rambling champion). “Imean, you know, he’s supposed to be like a great guy…”
    I said, “Yeah…he’s supposed to be a great guy but actually he’s a sniveling wormy-type guy who leads people on and he…then he…”
    Everyone was looking at me (a bit cross-eyed because our heads were so close together). Oh dear, I have slightly blown my glacial disinterest in Dave. I thought quickly; “I mean, it’s not fair…on Ellen, is it?”
    I said it like I was a great pal. Jas said in her mind, “You skunk girl.” So I said telepathically back to her, “Shut up, Wilderness Woman.”
    home
6:38 p.m.
    The kittykats are going to be sent away!! Mr. Across the Road came round partly to talk about the Lord of the Rings party they are going to have. He said, “I’m going as Gandalf and Oscar is thinking about going as a hobbit.” Hmm, that’s attractive in a twelve-year-old nymphomaniac. I let a smile play around my lips at the thought of my dad in green tights. However, Mr. Across the Road—who has taken an unfair dislike to me for somereason—said viciously, “I’ve found homes for six of those monstrous things, God help the people they are going to, but I can’t find anyone stupid enough to have the seventh, so it’ll have to go to the vets.”
    Go to the vets??? I knew what that meant. One of the kittykats was headed for the big cat basket in the sky…. After he had lumbered off, Dad settled down on the sofa to read his newspaper. Angus was snoozing in front of the fire.
    I said to Dad, “Dad, did you hear that??? Please, please can we save the kittykat, think how upset Angus will be. In fact I think he understands every word we say and he knows what Mr. Across the Road the kittykat abuser said. Look, look, Dad, I think he’s crying.”
    Unfortunately at that moment Angus woke up and leapt straight through the newspaper Dad was reading, tearing it completely in half. Dad got hold of Angus, who also had surprised himself with his insane leap, and flung him across the room. Of course, old nimble paws landed on his feet and ambled off.
    Dad was full of lividosity. He said, “Absolutely not in a million years, never, ever, not ever, do you get it, Georgia, NO.”
    7:00 p.m.
    In the kitchen Mutti was pretending to iron something. I said, “Mutti, that’s an iron, you know, they can get quite hot.”
    She said, “Shut up.”
    in my bedroom
7:15 p.m.
    Libby was just doing a spot of housework; she has a handbrush and she brushes and mutters to herself; she was saying “Bloody thing, bloody thing” as she worked. Obviously gaining her knowledge from my parents. When I lay down on my bed of pain she came and nuzzled me; “Georgia, Georgie Porgy…I LOBE you, kissy kiss kiss.”
    I wish she had more snot control. I told her, “Angus’s kittykats have to go