Read Online Louise Rennison_Georgia Nicolson 05 by Away Laughing on a Fast Camel - Free Book Online Page A

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    I was just sitting there in my big coat and scarf and hat in the streetlight, looking at all the houses where other people were doing stuff. Roasting chestnuts, snogging, etc., when Oscar, Mr. and Mrs. Across the Road’s son, came out onto his driveway on his bike. He was doing wheelies and all that pointless boy stuff that they do. Making the bike hop along, braking really suddenly, sitting on the seat backward and steering it behind his back. All boys are mad as snakes—which is why I must trainmyself up for lesbianism, even if it involves growing a mustache. If it involved growing a beard under each arm, I was practically home and dry. The orangutan gene is not having a winter vacation.
    Anyway, Oscar saw me watching him and he winked at me. I just looked at him. What is he winking for? Then he winked again. Is he in training for owldom? He shouted over, “Do you fancy it then?”
    Pardon? I said, “What?”
    What is he talking about?
    He leant back against his bike and crossed one leg over the other in what I imagine he thinks is a casual way.
    He said, “Me and you.”
    â€œMe and you what?”
    â€œYou know…getting it on.”
    â€œPardon?”
    â€œYou know, letting the monster out of the bag, setting free the trouser snake.”
    I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I said, “Oscar, forgive me if I’m right but you are twelve.”
    â€œI know, but I like older women.”
    Unbelievable. Now I am being propositioned by toddlers—soon it will be Josh, Libby’s little mate from nursery school.
    Oscar was still winking at me whilst I was staring at him when Mark Big Gob came by on his way out. Oh brilliant. He said, “Clear off, Oscar, bedtime.” Oscar looked hard, but he cleared off all the same, saying, “Yeah, well, I was going to go in, I’ve got a chick phoning me. Dig you later.”
    Has he gone completely mad?
    Mark Big Gob looked at me—or rather, he looked at my nungas.
    â€œYou’re looking cool, Georgia. Why don’t you come for a walk with me Tuesday? I’ll be out by the back field at eight o’clock. See you then.”
    I was just going “What??? What???” in my mind, but nothing was coming out of my mouth.
    As if!!! Meet him in the back field???? As if!!!!!
    What had happened to his tiny girlfriend??
    Anyway, it didn’t matter what happened to her, as if I would meet him by the back field or anywhere.
    Boys are truly unbelievable.
    monday march 14th
    break
    All huddled up in our Antarctic weatherproof tepee behind the five’s court. (The ace gang get allour coats and button them to each other around us, like a coat tepee.) Mmmm, nice and snug, but it does mean you can’t use your arms. We put the snacks in the middle of us inside the coat tepee. You have to eat them blind, grabbing stuff from any bag you can feel and forcing two fingers with the snack in them through the communal neck hole. Tricky if you all try to do it at the same time.
    Rosie said, “That was a vair vair good party. I didn’t get to bed until eight A.M. and then I had to get up at ten because of my olds coming back.”
    Ellen said, “I thought your olds were, you know, cool with you having parties.”
    Rosie said, “Oh they are, it’s just that there were a lot of rogue sausage snacks to round up after Sven did his famous ‘Let’s go down the disco’ dance on the cocktail cabinet.”
    Jools said, “Leslie Andrews is covered in lovebites, she is six inches deep in panstick and she still looks like she has been attacked by lemmings. She tried to wear a polo neck sweater in games, but Miss Stamp made her take it off and then tutted for England when she saw the state of her neck.”
    Oh rave on, who cares about the stupid party? Idon’t want to talk about it. In a fit of subtlosity I said, “What shall we get as a thoughtful leaving gift for