is Colby,” Karen introduced. Jessica reached out a tentative hand and gently stroked his cheek.
“He was in your belly?” Jessica asked, staring at Karen’s noticeably less prominent abdomen.
“Uh huh. That’s where babies grow,” Karen smiled.
“He shoulda stayed in there longer — he’s not big enough,” Jessica replied astutely, and the tension surrounding them all dissolved with their laughter.
Sarah looked knowingly in Karen’s eyes when their laughter subsided. “Sounds like you had a rough delivery.”
Karen nodded. “It happened so fast, there was no time to get help. He was without oxygen for quite awhile. They think he has cerebral palsy.”
Sarah nodded gravely. She had heard about the devastating condition that could cripple its victims and leave them unable to live any semblance of a normal life. Her throat squeezed with sorrow she was unable to swallow.
It was the first time Michael had heard the official diagnosis as well, but he didn’t know enough about the disease to understand the full implications. The look on Sarah’s face told him everything he needed to know, though. Colby’s chance at a normal life was over before it even started. And it was all Michael’s fault. His eyes squeezed together, trying to hold in the rush of tears that threatened to flood his face. The pain of it all swirled around him in a crushing vortex: his guilt, the pain of giving up Jessica, the tragedy of Colby’s fate. Michael staggered under the force of it.
Jessica was oblivious to the sadness permeating the room, and she babbled on in her high-pitched little voice, chattering away to anyone who was listening. Michael couldn’t make out the words through the loudness of his own despair, but he soaked in her presence as she tittered around the room, exploring. At least she was there. At least Karen and Sarah were friends and he would have the opportunity to see her again. He thanked God for that small miracle.
The situation was too awkward for the mothers to maintain for very long, so after a few minutes of chitchat Sarah wished Karen good luck, promised to come visit her when she came home, and said her goodbyes. Michael stared at Jessica as she left, memorizing the way her stubby legs half-walked, half-jumped as she toddled out of the NICU, hand in hand with her mother.
chapter eight
A few months later, Michael was gradually adjusting to life in the Conrad household. The boys were wild and rambunctious, but kind of lovable once you got to know them, and Colby was quickly earning a spot in Michael’s heart as well. He had missed the early infant stage with Jessica, so he wasn’t quite sure what was normal, but watching Colby was pretty easy. He spent most of the day in his crib or his mother’s arms, peacefully sleeping. In fact, if it wasn’t for the antics of the other four Conrad boys, Michael would be pretty bored. He was used to the constant peril a curious toddler provoked. He wished he had more things to do to keep him busy. To keep him from missing Jessica.
Sarah had come for a few visits already, bringing baby gifts and casseroles and offering a friendly ear and a helping hand to Karen who was struggling a little with watching four active boys while trying to care for a handicapped infant. Keeping Colby’s feeding tube clean and functioning was a totally new experience for someone who thought she had a pretty good handle on child-rearing, but Karen had learned quickly how to care for Colby and the nurses were sent home after a few days. Michael kept a constant vigil at Colby’s bed, never leaving the child’s side, no matter how intrigued he was by the happenings in the rest of the house.
Fortunately, when Jessica came with her mother to visit, she was more interested in being with Colby than his overactive brothers. She seemed fascinated by the tiny baby and tried desperately to illicit his
“He was in your belly?” Jessica asked, staring at Karen’s noticeably less prominent abdomen.
“Uh huh. That’s where babies grow,” Karen smiled.
“He shoulda stayed in there longer — he’s not big enough,” Jessica replied astutely, and the tension surrounding them all dissolved with their laughter.
Sarah looked knowingly in Karen’s eyes when their laughter subsided. “Sounds like you had a rough delivery.”
Karen nodded. “It happened so fast, there was no time to get help. He was without oxygen for quite awhile. They think he has cerebral palsy.”
Sarah nodded gravely. She had heard about the devastating condition that could cripple its victims and leave them unable to live any semblance of a normal life. Her throat squeezed with sorrow she was unable to swallow.
It was the first time Michael had heard the official diagnosis as well, but he didn’t know enough about the disease to understand the full implications. The look on Sarah’s face told him everything he needed to know, though. Colby’s chance at a normal life was over before it even started. And it was all Michael’s fault. His eyes squeezed together, trying to hold in the rush of tears that threatened to flood his face. The pain of it all swirled around him in a crushing vortex: his guilt, the pain of giving up Jessica, the tragedy of Colby’s fate. Michael staggered under the force of it.
Jessica was oblivious to the sadness permeating the room, and she babbled on in her high-pitched little voice, chattering away to anyone who was listening. Michael couldn’t make out the words through the loudness of his own despair, but he soaked in her presence as she tittered around the room, exploring. At least she was there. At least Karen and Sarah were friends and he would have the opportunity to see her again. He thanked God for that small miracle.
The situation was too awkward for the mothers to maintain for very long, so after a few minutes of chitchat Sarah wished Karen good luck, promised to come visit her when she came home, and said her goodbyes. Michael stared at Jessica as she left, memorizing the way her stubby legs half-walked, half-jumped as she toddled out of the NICU, hand in hand with her mother.
chapter eight
A few months later, Michael was gradually adjusting to life in the Conrad household. The boys were wild and rambunctious, but kind of lovable once you got to know them, and Colby was quickly earning a spot in Michael’s heart as well. He had missed the early infant stage with Jessica, so he wasn’t quite sure what was normal, but watching Colby was pretty easy. He spent most of the day in his crib or his mother’s arms, peacefully sleeping. In fact, if it wasn’t for the antics of the other four Conrad boys, Michael would be pretty bored. He was used to the constant peril a curious toddler provoked. He wished he had more things to do to keep him busy. To keep him from missing Jessica.
Sarah had come for a few visits already, bringing baby gifts and casseroles and offering a friendly ear and a helping hand to Karen who was struggling a little with watching four active boys while trying to care for a handicapped infant. Keeping Colby’s feeding tube clean and functioning was a totally new experience for someone who thought she had a pretty good handle on child-rearing, but Karen had learned quickly how to care for Colby and the nurses were sent home after a few days. Michael kept a constant vigil at Colby’s bed, never leaving the child’s side, no matter how intrigued he was by the happenings in the rest of the house.
Fortunately, when Jessica came with her mother to visit, she was more interested in being with Colby than his overactive brothers. She seemed fascinated by the tiny baby and tried desperately to illicit his
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