back my comforter and holds out his hand.
Reluctantly, I put my hand in his, but stall. “This is not how I wanted our day to be,” I say with nothing but melancholy in my voice. This is absolutely the worst date ever. Ryan arranges my pillows so I can sit up and tucks the blankets in around me. He’s acting like a father. I suppose that’s all I’m going to get because I don’t deserve any more.
Ryan sits next to me and hands me my cup of soup. I don’t want to do this with him. Not like this.
“You can go, Ryan. I can manage. I’ve been doing it for a year now.” The second the words are out of my mouth I’m looking away. I chance a look at him and see indifference.
“You can’t do this alone, and that’s not why I’m here.”
“Yes, I can,” I stick out my chin in defiance.
“No, you can’t,” he says, turning to face me. “For the past five years I’ve been there and when I wasn’t, you had Alex. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but when you think about it, you don’t do anything by yourself.”
I roll my eyes. “That’s not true. I went sightseeing the other day.”
“That’s good. You should get out and see Boston. I love it here, and I’d love it…” Ryan shakes his head.
“What were you going to say?”
“Nothing. Please eat.” He motions to the soup sitting in front of me. As much as I don’t want to, I take a sip and let the warm broth cure my ailment. Ryan sits on the edge of my bed, his arms resting on his knees. I hate that he’s not looking at me, but I did that. Once again, I’ve screwed things up.
“I’m sorry, Ryan.”
Ryan sits up and rubs his hands on his shorts. “Don’t be sorry for something you meant. We broke up, Hadley, and now here we are. Things are awkward and feelings are in the way. We left a lot of stuff unsaid and if we want to get past this, we need to talk it out.” Ryan stands, walking over to the wall and leaning against it.
“I love you, Hadley. I have for a long time, but when you put your career in front of us, something had to give. I know you can probably say the same thing about me, but I refuse to be a kept man. I don’t like the way it feels. I want to work and provide a home. I don’t want a wife who is doing it all while I sit around and watch TV. That’s not me.
“I asked you to marry me and every time a date was set, it changed because of a tour or a new album. It was always something, and I couldn’t live like that. I can’t live like that. I accepted your job from day one, that’s never been a problem. What I can’t accept is a wife who is never home, who goes on year-long tours and expects to raise children on a tour bus.”
Tears fall as Ryan finishes telling me everything that he wants. There’s nothing to dispute; he’s right about everything. I just didn’t know he was right until it was too late. It took the birth of Alex and Cole’s daughter to open my eyes. Seeing my best friend with her baby really made me stop and think.
Ryan clears his throat. “I know I said I didn’t want children right now, but since Dylan had her daughter, I think I’ve changed my mind. No, I know I have, but I can’t do that with you unless you’re willing to stop touring so much. It’s the tours that kill me, Hadley, not the music. Not the paparazzi or your recording schedule. It’s the tours that take eight months or over a year. You’re Hadley Carter, America’s Pop Princess – give America a break and stay home, enjoy life. No one is going to fault you for wanting to settle down. They’ll all still be there.”
“I understand,” I mumble through my tears. Ryan steps forward and kisses my forehead.
“I’ll call you tomorrow.”
With that, he walks out of my room. I sob the moment the door to my hotel room shuts because I’m not so sure he’ll call tomorrow or if I’ll ever see him again.
I t’s been two days since I last saw Hadley. I didn’t call her like I said I would. I couldn’t bring
Reluctantly, I put my hand in his, but stall. “This is not how I wanted our day to be,” I say with nothing but melancholy in my voice. This is absolutely the worst date ever. Ryan arranges my pillows so I can sit up and tucks the blankets in around me. He’s acting like a father. I suppose that’s all I’m going to get because I don’t deserve any more.
Ryan sits next to me and hands me my cup of soup. I don’t want to do this with him. Not like this.
“You can go, Ryan. I can manage. I’ve been doing it for a year now.” The second the words are out of my mouth I’m looking away. I chance a look at him and see indifference.
“You can’t do this alone, and that’s not why I’m here.”
“Yes, I can,” I stick out my chin in defiance.
“No, you can’t,” he says, turning to face me. “For the past five years I’ve been there and when I wasn’t, you had Alex. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but when you think about it, you don’t do anything by yourself.”
I roll my eyes. “That’s not true. I went sightseeing the other day.”
“That’s good. You should get out and see Boston. I love it here, and I’d love it…” Ryan shakes his head.
“What were you going to say?”
“Nothing. Please eat.” He motions to the soup sitting in front of me. As much as I don’t want to, I take a sip and let the warm broth cure my ailment. Ryan sits on the edge of my bed, his arms resting on his knees. I hate that he’s not looking at me, but I did that. Once again, I’ve screwed things up.
“I’m sorry, Ryan.”
Ryan sits up and rubs his hands on his shorts. “Don’t be sorry for something you meant. We broke up, Hadley, and now here we are. Things are awkward and feelings are in the way. We left a lot of stuff unsaid and if we want to get past this, we need to talk it out.” Ryan stands, walking over to the wall and leaning against it.
“I love you, Hadley. I have for a long time, but when you put your career in front of us, something had to give. I know you can probably say the same thing about me, but I refuse to be a kept man. I don’t like the way it feels. I want to work and provide a home. I don’t want a wife who is doing it all while I sit around and watch TV. That’s not me.
“I asked you to marry me and every time a date was set, it changed because of a tour or a new album. It was always something, and I couldn’t live like that. I can’t live like that. I accepted your job from day one, that’s never been a problem. What I can’t accept is a wife who is never home, who goes on year-long tours and expects to raise children on a tour bus.”
Tears fall as Ryan finishes telling me everything that he wants. There’s nothing to dispute; he’s right about everything. I just didn’t know he was right until it was too late. It took the birth of Alex and Cole’s daughter to open my eyes. Seeing my best friend with her baby really made me stop and think.
Ryan clears his throat. “I know I said I didn’t want children right now, but since Dylan had her daughter, I think I’ve changed my mind. No, I know I have, but I can’t do that with you unless you’re willing to stop touring so much. It’s the tours that kill me, Hadley, not the music. Not the paparazzi or your recording schedule. It’s the tours that take eight months or over a year. You’re Hadley Carter, America’s Pop Princess – give America a break and stay home, enjoy life. No one is going to fault you for wanting to settle down. They’ll all still be there.”
“I understand,” I mumble through my tears. Ryan steps forward and kisses my forehead.
“I’ll call you tomorrow.”
With that, he walks out of my room. I sob the moment the door to my hotel room shuts because I’m not so sure he’ll call tomorrow or if I’ll ever see him again.
I t’s been two days since I last saw Hadley. I didn’t call her like I said I would. I couldn’t bring
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