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Authors: Heidi McLaughlin
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myself to. It’s not that I didn’t want to talk to her or even see her, I just couldn’t do it. When I left her in her hotel room, I heard her break down and it took everything in me to keep walking. Had I gone back, I would’ve most likely done something I’m not ready for or sent her the wrong message. As much as I love her, I’m not sure being together is the answer. It would be too easy to fall back into the same pattern. I have no doubt the initial return of us would be explosive and sensational, but what happens when the newness wears off and we’re back to facing the same issues? What happens if she doesn’t like Boston as much as I do and is adamant we return to New York, or worse, we end up divorced because of it? I can’t have that. When I marry, I want it to be until death do us part. I know the statistics on celebrity marriages, and they don’t bode well.
My phone mocks me, and I find myself looking at it every few minutes. My hand twitches as if it knows I want to call her, but I can’t. The pile of contracts in front of me that need to be reviewed can and will take me all day. I need to focus on my job and not whether or not I’m going to rekindle my love affair with Hadley Carter.
I rub my hands over my face, groaning with each pass over.
“Tough day?”
I look up to find Jessica standing in my doorway, her arm full of folders. “Hey you,” I say, hoping that she and I are on the good side of things. She walks in and sits in front of my desk. A week ago, she would’ve walked over to where I’m sitting, but things have changed. I take her in, study her for a moment. She doesn’t look upset or even angry with me.
“I’m good, Ryan.”
“That’s good,” I reply as I lean back in my chair. “I’m really –“
She holds up her hand to stop me. “You don’t have to say you’re sorry. I’ve known for a while that you still loved her. It’s hard to forget that first love, the one that is so powerful it consumes you fully. Someday I hope to have those feelings for someone, and I think you’re both incredibly lucky to have found each other.”
My lips press into a thin line as I shake my head. This woman, the one in front of me, is beyond amazing. I wish I had met her at a different time in my life. Thing is though, I’ve only known Hadley.
“You’re amazing,” I tell her with a small head shake. “I don’t know how I ever got so lucky with you, but someone is going to be very, very lucky to have you, and I’m sorry. If I had thought that Hadley would come back the way she did, I would’ve never started anything with you. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.”
Jessica leans forward reaching for my hand. I give it to her willingly. “I’m not hurt, Ryan. A little sad, yes, but I consider you my friend, and we had a great time together.”
I smile. “We did, didn’t we?”
“Boss, I need help.” Jessica and I break apart when my star third basemen, Ethan Davenport, walks in. Ethan was a top a recruit out of college. Every major team wanted him whether they had a third baseman or not. The Renegades were lucky. We had the room to pay him, meet his contract needs and desperately needed him on the field. The problem with Ethan is, he’s twenty-one, six-foot-two with light blue eyes and dark hair, a little bit crazy and has a gaggle of women hounding him on a nightly basis. Of course, he told social media where his apartment is, so that’s not helping. He’s Boston’s most eligible bachelor and loves playing that role. Right now he’s pulling on his hair, which is a telltale sign that he’s agitated. I learned that this last year when I was recruiting him.
“I’ll see you guys later. Ryan, don’t forget we have a three o’clock.”
“I’ll be there.” I watch her walk-out and wait for the pain of not having her in my life to set in. When it doesn’t, it only tells me what I already know. “Have a seat, Ethan.”
Ethan sits in the chair that Jessica
My phone mocks me, and I find myself looking at it every few minutes. My hand twitches as if it knows I want to call her, but I can’t. The pile of contracts in front of me that need to be reviewed can and will take me all day. I need to focus on my job and not whether or not I’m going to rekindle my love affair with Hadley Carter.
I rub my hands over my face, groaning with each pass over.
“Tough day?”
I look up to find Jessica standing in my doorway, her arm full of folders. “Hey you,” I say, hoping that she and I are on the good side of things. She walks in and sits in front of my desk. A week ago, she would’ve walked over to where I’m sitting, but things have changed. I take her in, study her for a moment. She doesn’t look upset or even angry with me.
“I’m good, Ryan.”
“That’s good,” I reply as I lean back in my chair. “I’m really –“
She holds up her hand to stop me. “You don’t have to say you’re sorry. I’ve known for a while that you still loved her. It’s hard to forget that first love, the one that is so powerful it consumes you fully. Someday I hope to have those feelings for someone, and I think you’re both incredibly lucky to have found each other.”
My lips press into a thin line as I shake my head. This woman, the one in front of me, is beyond amazing. I wish I had met her at a different time in my life. Thing is though, I’ve only known Hadley.
“You’re amazing,” I tell her with a small head shake. “I don’t know how I ever got so lucky with you, but someone is going to be very, very lucky to have you, and I’m sorry. If I had thought that Hadley would come back the way she did, I would’ve never started anything with you. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.”
Jessica leans forward reaching for my hand. I give it to her willingly. “I’m not hurt, Ryan. A little sad, yes, but I consider you my friend, and we had a great time together.”
I smile. “We did, didn’t we?”
“Boss, I need help.” Jessica and I break apart when my star third basemen, Ethan Davenport, walks in. Ethan was a top a recruit out of college. Every major team wanted him whether they had a third baseman or not. The Renegades were lucky. We had the room to pay him, meet his contract needs and desperately needed him on the field. The problem with Ethan is, he’s twenty-one, six-foot-two with light blue eyes and dark hair, a little bit crazy and has a gaggle of women hounding him on a nightly basis. Of course, he told social media where his apartment is, so that’s not helping. He’s Boston’s most eligible bachelor and loves playing that role. Right now he’s pulling on his hair, which is a telltale sign that he’s agitated. I learned that this last year when I was recruiting him.
“I’ll see you guys later. Ryan, don’t forget we have a three o’clock.”
“I’ll be there.” I watch her walk-out and wait for the pain of not having her in my life to set in. When it doesn’t, it only tells me what I already know. “Have a seat, Ethan.”
Ethan sits in the chair that Jessica
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